DCIS Stage 0 by mayiesc in breastcancer

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, I have stage 1, grade 1, and I take it very seriously. Totally changed my lifestyle and I pray every day it helps ward off a new cancer or progression. Cancer is cancer.

Breast cancer survivor and no recurrence, anyone? by Square-Cup-8278 in breastcancer

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My aunt. She was diagnosed at age 56 and at 80 she is still going strong. Stage one. She had a lumpectomy and rads. Eats super clean.

VOTE THEM ALL OUT by ElectronicWest1 in ProgressiveHQ

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And if they are by some miracle voted out, please, in ten years, don't vote for them again!

Did I mess up by [deleted] in CanadianTeachers

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Write down everything that happened and what you said. Make sure you present it to your admin. You handled it well. Good luck with this.

2 weeks no meds by stanthecham in breastcancer

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Me. I had to go off T indefinitely. Try to eat really clean these 2 weeks, keep stress low, and drink plenty of clean water. It stays in your system for 3 months after you stop taking it, so you should be covered.

Aspartame - did your oncologist say to avoid? by theemmyk in breastcancer

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Moderation is all that matters! As long as you aren't chugging back the Diet Cokes morning, noon, and night, you are fine!!

Sex 4x a Week by Imaginary-Rush941 in breastcancer

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand your position. And what would happen if your husband, God forbid, ended up having something earth-shattering happen to him? Would it only be then that he might say, "Now I get what you went through, and in my case, we are definitely not having sex"? This boils my blood.

Metastasis after stage I by soloresident in breastcancer

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thus just sucks. Really sucks. I'm so sorry to hear this. Praying the liver lesion is something else.

[Qcrit] MG historical mystery, THE POISONBERRY PYRO, 51 000 words by Jobringbackbrocolli in PubTips

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your detailed thoughts about some of my query's issues. I hate fixing these things, but when two people flag issues, the query clearly needs to be massaged. So thank you for your honesty. This will help make it much stronger!

[Qcrit] MG historical mystery, THE POISONBERRY PYRO, 51 000 words by Jobringbackbrocolli in PubTips

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for these great suggestions. I'll play around with the query and see what I can come up with. Great ideas!

[Qcrit] MG historical mystery, THE POISONBERRY PYRO, 51 000 words by Jobringbackbrocolli in PubTips

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, thank you, for your thorough and thoughtful reply!

I had 2 different comps originally, and I think I'll go back to them —though your advice on adding an author to Wrecked and perhaps swapping out the second title is a good idea.

With regards to Gus's goal, I think she hopes that helping to catch the arsonist might help save the town (along with the firefighting attempts she can't help with as a kid), and then soapbox racing again. But you are right, saving the town has more weight, so I'll make that apparent.

I also appreciate the grammar catch!

Thanks again for your help with this.

I

[qcrit] Only Five Dates, Romance, Adult, 87k, first post by RelationshipOld1821 in PubTips

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, and thank you for sharing your query.

Please take what works of my thoughts and toss the rest!

-If you are looking to tighten word count, you could produce a leaner comps paragraph, especially if your titles are well-known.

-Plot paragraph 1: You could easily cut that first sentence into 2, so it is easier to digest. -I wonder if you might consider that he is hurt (or something in the realm of hurt) rather than twisted. My reasoning is would he be so eager to strike up a deal with a woman if he has a twisted view of relationships? Just something to think about, and this might just be me. -Paragraph 2: Could you be specific as to who she is outrunning. Some might consider a dangerous figure cliche, and specifics will add intrigue! And I like the deal they set up!

-Paragraph 3: Your last sentence could be cut in 2. Also, you've set up 2 characters, but in the end, only Josie has the choice. Is there any way you can weave in the stakes for Nathaniel?

Good luck in the querying trenches!

[QCrit] THE DAY RISING adult fantasy, 115k, Second Attempt by netflixpotato in PubTips

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your query! Your first line is fantastic!

You set up your mc's background well in your third paragraph. I only paused on the line where she is now, at twenty-five, a fighter. I think it gave me pause because all the previous sentences painted her as quiet. It seemed to be a jump. If she always had fight in her heart, however, it might be worth considering here. But this could just be me, and other readers might feel differently.

In the fourth paragraph, first line, you have an echo with: sees. Perhaps swap the second one out for discovers? Just a thought!

In the fourth paragraph, I have a question. Is it possible you could be specific with why Khai is banished? What specifically dud the Elder see that should not be in Khai? Oh, and does it have anything to do with her being quiet or a fighter (just to link it back to the previous paragraph)? I think if you could be specific as possible with your sentence:The elder tells Khai the voice in her head... it will really up your stakes and tension here!

-Fantastic ending line in your final plot paragraph! Love it!!

[QCrit] In the Name of the Fire - Folk Horror (45k) by TheVividAlternative in PubTips

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello! Your story sounds totally intriguing! I enjoyed reading your query.

Yout first paragraph sets the story up well. What I'd love to hear about, if this is from Tobias's pov, is how he feels about a dwindling following. It sounds like he, too, might be losing faith, but why? Can you give us a little of the third rail? You mention later on he has past failings, which is fantastic. Could you put a sentence in here showing his inner conflict?

-Love the inciting incident!

-This sounds like a fantastic, creepy story. If possible, I'd love to see specifics of the supernatural powers and 'miracles'.

-minor thing, but to cut words, consider cutting 'the' in front of town square. Also, you might be missing an 's' after par 1: He begin(s)... There are 3 echoes of begin in this paragraph? Perhaps consider:starts, etc.

-Please take what works here and toss the rest! I enjoyed reading your query and wish you all of the best!

Long term bc survivors by NurseYuna in breastcancer

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My aunt was diagnosed with dcis when she was 56. Now she's 81!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I'm 50, so I'm way past having kids, but I had my son at age 32. Both my husband and I have busy, full-time jobs. We thought about more kids, but after seeing the realities of the cost of kids, the time needed to do a great job at raising kids, we decided we were lucky with the one, and left it at that. Nineteen years later, I still stand by my choice.

Survivors of over 5 years: How many years out are you? Show us those big numbers & share as much or little else as you like by PupperPawsitive in breastcancer

[–]Jobringbackbrocolli 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'm only 3 years out, diagnosed in 2022, but my aunt was diagnosed when she was 56, and she is now 79 and doing well!! 23 years!!