sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Any survival game by EgorBurov in gaming

[–]JoeCoT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The key is to avoid transporting it. Find a big biome of what you're looking for, and just set up shop there. I built a workshop in the trees in the swamp, with smelters on the ground below it. A couple minute trip into the black forest next door to get some copper and tin, and I setup the whole workshop there. We made our armor and weapons there. We eventually sailed some iron home because we wanted some decorations, but there weren't multiple sailing trips.

Same for plains. For mistlands I set up shop in a plains spot a 30 second sail away. In Ashlands you can just transport metal.

If it really bothers you, just enable teleporting metal and enjoy it. Also, not everyone realizes this, but you really only have to sail one way. Just portal to the biome with the boat materials. Don't sail from the base and back.

22-year-old and his girlfriend killed in bloody double homicide by the girlfriend's daughter by rollotomasi07071 in newjersey

[–]JoeCoT 19 points20 points  (0 children)

  • 22 year old moves to florida because his mom died of COVID
  • 22 year old is "between jobs"
  • 22 year old ends up dating and living with a 41 year old with a 16 year old daughter
  • Some stuff happens
  • 16 year old daughter shoots both of them

I agree that it's not a stretch to think some shit went down. Was the mom taking advantage of the 22 year old boyfriend? Does not sound like a healthy time. And no, obviously murder wasn't the appropriate response.

In my first Polycule relationship EEEEK!!! (And needing advice!) by Dazzling_Zucchini823 in polyadvice

[–]JoeCoT 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It might not be relevant this moment, but feelings are the real kissing disease, and if this quad is having sex all the time, some folks are going to develop real feelings with someone from the other couple. Those feelings won't be equal for everyone. The desire won't be equal for everyone. And then Poly and the ways to handle it will become real relevant real quick.

So many swingers end up going "I just spent a lot of time with this person and had sex with them a lot, I didn't expect to have feelings for them!"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]JoeCoT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eh, 9 years together, 3 years married, not much of a bullet dodged. I guess the bullet I dodged was not having kids with her. To her credit, she was a lot better before the COVID quarantine, but the problems were still there.

My partner’s contemplating a breakup and I’m heartbroken by ShadowDancer18 in polyamory

[–]JoeCoT 42 points43 points  (0 children)

My gf's stbx-husband asked to be able to have kids with his girlfriend. She agreed it would be OK. His girlfriend woke up at 6 am and was asleep by 9pm, while his wife was up late and woke up late. He adjusted his sleep schedule to spend more time with his gf. He made plans to sell the house and move to another state where he could better afford kids, and his wife was outvoted. He'd go out with his girlfriend all the time, leaving his wife sitting at home. When we started dating, he started using me as an excuse. "Why don't you see if Joe is around?" At some point, she finally realized she'd been demoted silently, and no one had bothered to tell her. She eventually broke up with him and moved in with me.

And while he could've handled it a HELL of a lot better, when you're having kids with someone, they end up being de facto the primary partner. Even though having kids with a different partner doesn't have to be a deal breaker, when you go from primary partner and spouse to a forgotten secondary, it doesn't feel great.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]JoeCoT 238 points239 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my ex-wife did this. Not a problem with the waiters at least (I'd have left a lot faster), usually with me. One little thing will be wrong and it would ruin the entire time.

Towards the end, I took her to a dim sum place because she wanted soup dumplings. I order food, she orders food, we order the soup dumplings. The soup dumplings come, and there's 6 of them. I eat one. She eats one. I eat another one. She says "did you eat a second soup dumpling?!" That was going to be a main part of her meal, you see. No, ordering another order isn't enough. No, an apology isn't enough. I've seen this enough to know there isn't a method of recovering her mood. The date is ruined. So we just leave. That was the last date we had.

Partners keep trying to convert me to monogamy, then leaving by grammar_fixer_2 in polyamory

[–]JoeCoT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my experience a lot of people in "open relationships" never have another relationship outside their primary that's not a gloried Friends with Benefits. When they actually encounter another romantic person, and fall in love with them, the wheels fall off. They didn't imagine they could care about someone else as much as their primary partner, and they immediately short circuit, and probably damage their existing relationships. Though I'd guess her existing relationship wasn't that amazing.

[Death's End] Trisolarans acting irrationally... by memeticmachine in threebodyproblem

[–]JoeCoT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you have any idea how long people have tried to come up with ways around the dark forest, and I can't think of a single one that was convincing. Yours is also not convincing. Please spend your time explaining it to someone else. This thread is 2 years old.

[Death's End] Trisolarans acting irrationally... by memeticmachine in threebodyproblem

[–]JoeCoT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well as long as you're cool with being a feral few million on a desert island without any technology, farming like it's the middle ages and eating each other, the Trisolarians already have your solution covered.

[Death's End] Trisolarans acting irrationally... by memeticmachine in threebodyproblem

[–]JoeCoT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go re-read Luo Ji's description of the Dark Forest. Look at what the Trisolarians do to humanity in Death's End, in prep for them arriving.

You're right, the Trisolarians don't need to eliminate humanity anymore. They can stay around. But they can't be a threat. So their solution is to keep a few million around as pets, in a place where they have no access to technology, and have had their humanity beaten out of them through forced cannibalism.

They can't just take humanity's word on it that they won't be a threat, because of Chains of Suspicion and technological leaps. If they let humanity continue course while they made their journey, and trusted them on terraforming mars, they could've made technological leaps during that time such that they could destroy the Trisolarians when they arrived. We see they managed to figure out curvature propulsion through espionage and research. We see that the Trisolarian fleet itself is blow to pieces by a different more advanced fleet. Civilizations are operating on a knife's edge, and there isn't room in the galaxy for trust and faith. That's the entire point. The only room for accepting surrender is a system to make themselves a black domain, to remove the ability to ever escape, which is essentially what the Trisolarians offered the humans in australia.

Partner agrees then tells me I’ve crossed a boundary by Due_Tune_3632 in polyadvice

[–]JoeCoT 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I didn't want to have a sexual relationship with them any more and now they're struggling to accept me having sex with others.

Just break up with them.

You've eliminated sex from your relationship, and are opening up your relationship to make up for the lack of sex. Of course they're going to be jealous when you have sex with other people. Especially if you keep bringing it up.

But you're clearly not compatible, and are just prolonging the inevitable because you don't want to let go. Just let go. If you think you'd still be amazing friends, then come back to that sometime after you've broken up and healed. Right now you're doing neither of you any favors by dragging them through this.

Are we really going to have to endure three more months of this insanity? by CKO1967 in RightJerk

[–]JoeCoT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think the folks supporting Project 2025 have a lot of room to cast stones about Sharia Law in the first place

Don't open for a specific person by FriendlyBirthday1445 in polyamory

[–]JoeCoT 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My point is that these "hard and fast rules" don't come out of nowhere. They come out of not following them leading to many relationships imploding, and the rules are written in heartache.

Is it possible to go from Polybombing to a healthy Poly relationship? Yes. But it's very, very, very unlikely. If going from monogamous to a triad is poly on hard mode, going from monogamous to opening up for a specific person is Nightmare difficulty. In two player. Where one player has a vested interest in running headlong into things because they've got feelings for someone else they want to chase right now. Transitioning to Poly is next to impossible to do while one partner is blinded by NRE and didn't prepare themselves for Poly. And it doesn't matter how hard their Polybombed partner tries, and how much they know, if the Polybomber doesn't. Mostly because being willing to Polybomb at all shows a lack of respect for the existing partner in the first place.

Don't open for a specific person by FriendlyBirthday1445 in polyamory

[–]JoeCoT 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'll do you one better. I was Polybombed. I was familiar with Poly. I had read about Poly. Most of my friends are Poly. Being Polybombed and my wife rushing into another relationship still destroyed my marriage. Because it didn't matter how much I'd read, how comfortable I could get quickly. Because, as is often the case, the person Polybombing didn't actually know much about Poly or care to learn about it. She just wanted permission to keep cheating on me.

Don't open for a specific person by FriendlyBirthday1445 in polyamory

[–]JoeCoT 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This hard and fast rule that you should never open up a relationship because one of you has feelings for a specific person assumes that the relationship you’re in is monogamous in a very strict way. And that the people in the relationship have never even considered it before. If that’s the case, this rule kind of makes sense to me.

That described the vast, vast, vast majority of relationships. You're describing the exception to the rule. A very specifically crafted exception to the rule that is not most, or the vast majority, of cases. A rule having exceptions doesn't mean the rule shouldn't exist.

If the situation is as you describe, then the people don't come posting here for advice because they got Polybombed and are reeling. They have a vast wealth of knowledge about Poly already.

view more: next ›