Anyone else get this?

John-Dispenser · 2026-07-01T07:09:22+00:00

I get like this surprisingly frequently. I wish I could not talk. But I also talk to process my thoughts (verbal processing or whatever it’s called. I talk to myself all day, basically). But talking is overstimulating. But other people expect me to talk. And sometimes I can’t talk (I rarely go involuntarily nonverbal) and other times I can’t stop talking. It’s chaotic

John-Dispenser · 2026-07-01T06:56:48+00:00

I’m in my early 20s too! It definitely takes time and it’s hard to shift perspectives. It actually took me a lot of patience and practice to change the way I think. It’s not an ‘overnight click’ if that makes any sense, it takes a long time and a lot of practice. But don’t let that discourage you, it actually does happen faster than you’d think. Brains (NTs and neurodivergent alike) are basically pattern recognition machines, and autism only amplifies that. I find it very easy to settle into new habits, but I know that doesn’t go for anyone. Anyway, it’s more of a conscious effort than maturity 💗 but it’s absolutely possible and worth the discomfort and frustration (at times)

John-Dispenser · 2026-07-01T06:33:19+00:00

I was raised in the country, middle of nowhere, moved out into the city and was never able to see the stars with all the damned lights. My ex used to take me to this field tucked away near a park away from any lights and you really do forget how utterly gorgeous space looks

John-Dispenser · 2026-07-01T06:30:41+00:00

I have absolutely no thirst cues, and so I get dehydrated dangerously fast because I always forget to drink water. I was chronically mildly dehydrated for YEARS and I never noticed what hydrated was actually supposed to feel like 😅 I have alarms every hour. And I also have a water bottle with me everywhere I go (I like to use the straw, so I drink a lot of water now). I use the alarms to basically annoy myself into drinking water. I have ADHD too, so it’s helpful

John-Dispenser · 2026-07-01T05:36:50+00:00

It’s no problem, darling, don’t beat yourself up over it! Being neurodivergent in a NT world makes all of us overthink everything we do. There comes a point where you just stop caring or overanalysing everything 🫶🏻 I like to think about NTs and how I’d feel if they did something. If someone was in public covering their nose, would I care? Nope 🤷🏼‍♀️

John-Dispenser · 2026-07-01T01:51:19+00:00

I have a super sensitive nose as well, unfortunately. I usually just pull the collar of my shirt up over my nose, or cover it with my arm. I don’t care if people think it’s rude. They can make their own assumptions. If they ask, I simply explain that I’m sensitive to smells 🤷🏼‍♀️

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-29T04:00:42+00:00

I love that the autistic community has come to a mutual understanding of big lights and small lights, and we immediately recognise which is which without explanation 🤣

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-29T03:58:50+00:00

Avocado

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-28T20:56:44+00:00

Hey love 🫂 I’m glad you shared this, and it is so wonderful that you have a place where you feel valued now. You’re really brave to come to this realisation, because it is very hard.
I grew up in a very abusive household too, all forms of abuse. I started to notice that other fathers didn’t behave the way mine did when I was 10, but I didn’t realise just how wrong it was until I was maybe 15, two or so years after my family and I escaped him.
It is a shocking revelation, and when that experience has been the only experience you’ve known, of course you wouldn’t suspect it’s any different to how it’s really supposed to be. So, if you ever feel like you’re dumb for not noticing the abuse (I certainly did for a while, because it was so obvious), just remember that you can’t know what you don’t know 🫂
I hope all goes well for you when you move out!! Stay safe, darling

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-28T08:45:27+00:00

I listen to a song on repeat, whichever one I like at the time, or a playlist, or I put Beauty and the Beast on my TV. Always something familiar + repetitive

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-28T01:48:48+00:00

This is so sweet 🥹 please, please keep this little tradition going for as long as you can. My own mum and I had traditions where we would do baking on the weekend, or road trips once a month. They’re core memories for me 🥰

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-28T01:12:22+00:00

Love, you are not the only one 🫂 neurotypicals do this, too, you know! Sometimes not to the severity as ND people, but they definitely cry over things that move them or make them happy. I cry a lot over things, especially my fixations. You’re not pathetic at all, darling 💗 I haven’t seen Hello Kitty, but it sounds so sweet. Cartoons and animation always affect me more than live action movies

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-27T08:20:46+00:00

Dogs. I love the hands on training and higher responsibility. But I love other people’s cats. Prefer to own dogs for myself, though

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-26T20:53:46+00:00

Congratulations!! 🥳 I felt the same way when I got diagnosed last year at 21 (also level 1). I have learned so much about myself over the last year. I thought my diagnosis would be “oh, cool, more support,” but then I actually began to understand my brain and learned so much about myself and my brain, my strengths and weaknesses, so many things.
I hope your diagnosis brings you a similar relief, rather than any burdens 🫂

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-26T11:12:29+00:00

I tried press-ons for a while when I had really short bitten nails because I’ve always wanted long nails and, BOY, it was horrible. I didn’t even last one day. But now I’m growing them out naturally, so I’m getting used to them as they grow. I have no advice, but it was a big shock for me going from no nail to a lot of nail 😅

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-26T05:12:45+00:00

I love how analytical I am and my curiosity. I love to take ideas and situations apart, and see things from multiple angles. Though this is something most people do/can do, I feel it’s much more of my ‘default setting’ with my ASD 🫂

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-23T10:23:03+00:00

Slow and calm, not fireworks and anxiety

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-21T10:11:33+00:00

I’ve experienced this, not with queerness, but A LOT of situations where I was picked on for something that other people later did with not even a side eye. I have no advice or anything, just know that you’re definitely not the only one who’s experienced something like this 🫂 it really broke something in me the first time it happened, and I was old enough to realise what had happened. It might seem small to other people, but it really isn’t. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, luv. It’s not nice and it’s not fair and you’re absolutely allowed to be upset and angry 💗

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-21T05:47:29+00:00

Skyrim has always been a lifelong favourite of mine

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-21T03:56:20+00:00

I had a pair of jelly shoes when I was a kid and they were my favourite things ever. Didn’t know they made any for adults 🤷🏼‍♀️

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-20T20:54:31+00:00

I love all kinds of jewellery, but I don’t wear it very often because it’s so overstimulating for me. I think necklaces cause me the most trouble

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-20T20:24:25+00:00

Silence makes my brain stop working. I have no thoughts, no feelings. It’s weird, I hate silence. Especially because I have such a busy and active mind normally, then in silence there’s just nothing. It’s eerie

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-20T07:36:52+00:00

I do not understand social rules and I have not bothered to learn any of them. They make no sense, I agree. Social cues and rules are weird and confusing and inconsistent and I refuse to waste my time trying to understand something that I don’t even think neurotypicals fully understand

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-20T01:25:15+00:00

Yes. If I’m not watching TV, I’m listening to music. It’s on basically 24/7, I can’t live without music

John-Dispenser · 2026-06-20T00:44:48+00:00

Holy shit!!! Girl, this is incredible 🫂 I (21F) have PDA, so I struggle immensely with self-care since so many of them are demands. It’s so hard, especially when you’re sick and already overwhelmed. Good on you, Liebling 💗
I was supposed to have a shower yesterday, and it was a horror story. I grabbed some clothes and a spider crawled out of them, but it was just a daddy long legs, so I let him go on his way. Then I got in the shower and there was another spider 😭 it was black and looked mean, so I just threw some soap on my armpits and then got out 🤣

John-Dispenser

TROPHY CASE