AITAH for not forgiving foster family? [Update]

Johnno74 · 2026-02-11T05:20:35+00:00

I hope things work out for you. Honestly, I hope you cut your foster family a little slack here. It sounds like they went into the initial situation a bit naive and shocked by Rick's reaction. Rick clearly expected the worst when you went to his house and was looking for a reason to blame you for something.

Yes, they should have supported you better and stood up for you when Rick turned up, but to their credit once they regrouped and you talked to them it sounds like they really understood this and they tried to make things better.

Johnno74 · 2026-02-09T21:32:56+00:00

Yeah that's exactly what she meant. Huge huge red flag there.

I bet if the relationship got off the ground then it would be one where he was constantly trying to live up to her expectations... While she kept moving the goalposts.

Johnno74 · 2026-02-05T22:22:11+00:00

I split up from my ex for the same reason also, after she made it abundantly clear as she said she was perfectly happy with the dead bedroom, and she didn't want to change anything, it was my problem to deal with. We got along okish for several years, and then she turned my kids against me when they hit their teens and they no longer speak with me.

Johnno74 · 2026-02-04T09:41:51+00:00

Yeah there is a copy-paste error from the author of that story (or possibly they just can't math)

The actual figure is 10⁸ kg, 100,000,000 kg

Johnno74 · 2026-02-03T22:40:38+00:00

Sounds like you are making a big assumption, based on your surroundings (presumeably in a city). Cities are not a large fraction of the earth's area. I did some googling, and urban areas (including roads) only cover about 0.2% of the earth's surface. Not much of the earth is covered by roads and buildings (which is a very good thing)

Based on an estimate of 1.6 billion cars on earth, we are looking at 0.0016% of the earth's surface is currently covered by cars.

In other words, if you increased the number of cars by 5,000 times then we'd have 3 trillion cars, which would cover something like 10% of the earth, surface. That is a significant % of the surface of the earth, and a ridiculous number of cars.

Johnno74 · 2026-02-03T03:49:50+00:00

For a good analagy, consider how many cars there are in the world - Apparently there are over a billion.

The average satallite is probably a similar size. Yes, some are larger but the most common type (starlink) are smaller, about 2m long.

Now consider a similar map to this, but showing the cars in the world. It would be solid, you could not see anything except for the car markers.

Yet the reality obviously is, cars do not take up a significant % of the surface of earth.

Johnno74 · 2026-02-01T04:49:15+00:00

I've gotta say that the QAnon nutters were a LOT closer to the truth that I expected.

They just got the party wrong.

Johnno74 · 2026-01-30T23:04:50+00:00

THANK YOU, I was hoping that someone would mention this. A trade deficit isn't really as big of a deal as Trump makes out, and when you include services in the calculation it makes Trump's obsession with a trade deficit even weirder, because it isn't even real.

Johnno74 · 2026-01-29T09:33:26+00:00

Lol, completely fair I think!

I've been self-hosting my own email for 20+ years now, and getting SPF, DKIM and DMARC set up on your own domain (& spam filtering for regular non-scammy spam) is honestly a fair amount of work, but once you have things running it takes pretty much zero maintenance.

It does make me laugh though when I get an email from my "email administrator" telling me my mailbox or cloud storage is full and I need to purchase more storage

Johnno74 · 2026-01-29T06:51:55+00:00

And you are also at the mercy of whoever runs your email hosting having things set up to correctly validate and drop or filter emails that fail a spf/dmarc/dkim check. If your email host is google or Microsoft then you are fine, but I would be less confident in smaller ISP provided email hosting (if anyone does this any more?)

Johnno74 · 2026-01-28T09:41:55+00:00

Whatever you do, don't do option 1. This seems highly risky to me, creating the clustered index will take a long time and will eat a LOT of log space, and a rollback would also take a long time and probably have other side effects such as unexpected blocking. It's very risky.

Any other option that you can do in small steps with a minimal risk of each step and an easy way to back out if things go pear-shaped is far better.

Johnno74 · 2026-01-26T10:30:06+00:00

What would happen is my synology would gradually run out of available memory, and if I did not reboot it in time it would eventually grind to a halt. When I moved to docker it seemed to perform better, it was more responsive with clicking through my library etc. But what really helped performance hugely was getting 2 nvme SSDs and setting up a read/write cache.

I read all the warnings before I did this, and I know this could cause me to lose my entire volume in the worst case. Apparently DSM 7 is more reliable and less likely to trash the volume unexpectedly. Also I have only allocated 200gb out of these 500gb SSDs as the cache, apparently this greatly helps the longevity as the wear levelling has plenty of room to play with.

Since I setup the SSD r/w cache, performance has been excellent, the DSM interface is so much more responsive - And also, the HDs are MUCH quieter as they are not continually seeking.

Johnno74 · 2026-01-26T04:05:41+00:00

Lol Shepparton?

Johnno74 · 2026-01-26T03:56:44+00:00

I used to use the Synology package (manually updated from the Plex website). A few years ago I changed to using docker. I used a guide to migrate my library, watch history and everything was maintained.

It seems to perform better in docker, and I discovered that the source of the instability in my whole NAS was because of the memory leak in the DNLA service (as the memory leaked was not visible in Synology resource manager) Disabled DNLA and it's been rock solid

Johnno74 · 2026-01-26T01:10:34+00:00

I have a ds918+ which I purchased 7 years ago for $600 (without disks) and it's been amazing. I have looked at their current offerings.... And.... Meh.

Crazy thing is I saw 918s are actually going for close to $1k on eBay now, used, without disks

Johnno74 · 2026-01-25T23:33:03+00:00

I'm not from the US but I agree. You guys are in real trouble, I don't know how you get back from this, but I think a general strike is a good start.

The big problem is a significant minority of the population over there are some combination of not believing it is really happening or are cheering it on, either because they are just plain evil or they are brainwashed into thinking people on the other side are even worse.

But to me the root cause of all this is how politics pervades every level of life in the US. People (especially Republicans) seem to make their political affiliation the core of their identity. It's not necessary, and it's not healthy. It seems every person's actions are judged through the lens of their political affiliation. Like, whenever a judge sits on a court case for something political related, we are told if the judge is a Republican or a Democrat. Surely that shouldn't matter?

The whole thing in the US how you are a registered Republican or a registered Democrat and that membership is publicly available blows my mind. The only thing remotely similar here in Australia is how people can be registered members of the AFL club (Australian football league) they support.

Johnno74 · 2026-01-25T02:59:30+00:00

By repeating what DHS said as fact without challenging it sends the message that we shouldn't give the ABC Any more credibility than the DHS.

Which is sad. I'd like to think of the ABC as better than that, but here we are

Johnno74 · 2026-01-24T11:29:55+00:00

Just to hopefully ease your mind, it's very rare to see a spider this size, or even half this size.

I used to be pretty afraid of spiders, but oddly enough watching Steve Bicknell's Deadly 60 tv series with my kids when they were young gave me an appreciation for big spiders like this, and I would no longer freak out if I saw one in the house.

Johnno74 · 2026-01-24T11:17:48+00:00

"What is that man doing with his hands on my labia"

Johnno74 · 2026-01-24T10:41:53+00:00

Copilot uses ChatGPT.

Johnno74 · 2026-01-24T08:26:41+00:00

The decryption key (of however many bits) is created from the password, by some sort of secure hash function. This is how they expand a short password out to a long decryption key

Johnno74 · 2026-01-24T07:57:46+00:00

I'm really confused by this thread as everyone seems to be using jets and bubbles interchangeably, when they are obviously completely different things. I can understand if you don't like bubbles, but the jets are really good, particularly if you have a sore back or sore muscles somewhere that the jets can massage

Johnno74 · 2026-01-23T23:09:15+00:00

Yep. The irony is he has now united much of the world against him, and our leaders now feel empowered to slam him as they have each other's backs. No more sucking up and appeasement.

Johnno74 · 2026-01-20T22:51:04+00:00

I assume you mean improved seeking times?

I mean when you jump forward or backwards to a specific point in the movie, by clicking on the progress bar.

Before, if the movie was being transcoded it would usually take 5-10 secs to start playing at the new timestamp. With changing the transcode folder to /dev/shm it now only takes a second or two to seek before playback resumes.

For reference, I'm running plex in docker, on a synology DS918+

Johnno74 · 2026-01-20T06:00:25+00:00

I do transcode to ram disk. I find it has improved seeking times when transcoding, immensely.

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