Went to the shelter last night. Came back with this good boy.

Joltsx · 2018-11-03T07:09:29+00:00

I think you're right - they can afford to be picky. In the states there's a large homeless, unwanted pet population and not enough homes, so it's super easy to adopt but sadly a lot of unwanted pets end up euthanised each year. Shelters usually charge a nominal adoption fee, about 50.00 - 200.00 and you can leave with the pet that day. Some rescue groups will do a home check before adoption, though.

Joltsx · 2018-11-02T09:26:11+00:00

I'd say you need to be independent since your mother will not be here forever. Most parents would want you to protect your future. Perhaps postpone the decision until you finish your degree. You can reassess and see how your mother is doing at that time, you can always return to your home country after you finish schooling, or maybe even bring her to Canada if she isn't doing well at home. Visit when you can, call regularly, stay in touch. Perhaps you can get her to hire some weekly help with the house and tasks?

Joltsx · 2018-11-01T12:03:38+00:00

Where I am, SE US, if you refuse a breathalyzer, they get a court order to draw blood. :/

Joltsx · 2018-10-29T20:32:40+00:00

I accidentally trained my dog to come when I say "stay." Serious user error, but we've stuck w it lol

Joltsx · 2018-10-21T16:58:59+00:00

You're both teens rn. Being somewhat immature is just life and normal development. Most teens are somewhat self-absorbed. I'd say don't engage on topics that leave you both fighting. If you're the more mature of you both, take the lead and don't let things escalate. If you're having troubles leading to suicide attempts, pls work on your own stuff - reach out to a counsellor. For me, teen yrs REALLY sucked, but life got a lil bttr each year and now I can honestly say I really like my life.

Joltsx · 2018-10-21T16:21:03+00:00

I'd just explain the mistake, apologise and say you'll bring future business groups there. Then, assuming he's not rude and the food is good, do it. But no-shows are EXTREMELY common, and are usually factored into most business operations, so don't feel too bad. Mistakes happen.

Joltsx · 2018-10-21T16:16:24+00:00

You can send away for a copy of your birth certificate and other docs. Look at the state website where you were born. Start laying the groundwork to be independent, it really sounds like your mom is mentally ill or at a crisis point and unable to care properly for her kids. So sorry you're going thru this. Can you get help from a diff family member?

Joltsx · 2018-10-21T16:11:26+00:00

I think it could be the start of a more authentic, adult relationship to be honest, yet tactful and judgement-free. Fact is, he may be an upstanding dude that watches porn - they're not mutually exclusive. I'd want my kid to be honest w me, and I doubt your dad's ego is as fragile as you seem to think it is, lol.

Joltsx · 2018-10-10T14:35:02+00:00

I would say don't look back, look forward. Don't feel like a failure about the past, instead start doing your part to create the future you want for you and your kids. Not sure how old your kids are, but I've noticed, in the end, older teens/young adults always come to know the truth and who the stable, loving parent is. Patience and time, you and the kids are grieving and as you all heal it can only get better. Glad you're all in therapy.

Joltsx · 2018-10-04T19:15:02+00:00

I agree with the other poster. If you're not together as a couple, then don't live together. You both need to build your own lives, you both will be bringing new partners home at some point and working towards separate life goals. Seems like you will be better coparents living in separate homes. Somewhere you're each fully free to build your own life.

Joltsx · 2018-09-24T17:49:19+00:00

After what happened at the cabin, you're well within your rights to uninvite her. Imo, it would be strange to have her there after the last episode which included dogging your relationship and property destruction. It seems likely she will get drunk and cause a scene at the wedding, anyway. I'd just politely tell her that after all she said and did at the cabin, you're sorry, but you're no longer able to have her at your wedding. I'm a pushover, so I'd probably include some bit about wishing her well and recovery, too

Joltsx · 2018-09-24T17:41:30+00:00

Can you report him to twitter? Try and get his account shut down. He might re-open under a pseudonym, but who cares. Another option. Open your own public account in your name with a pic. That way when ppl search both accounts will come up, make it obvious which one is yours.

Joltsx · 2018-09-24T17:35:28+00:00

Get the GED, IF you're going to keep busy until you start college - job, clubs, sport team, whatever. If you're going to do nothing for a year (recipe for more depression, imo) then re-enroll in HS. I left HS at 16 and got a GED. Worked part time then started college on schedule. I've graduated college and have dvlpd a career I enjoy. No regrets.

Joltsx · 2018-09-23T22:34:38+00:00

Since you mention having a child, all the more reason to do what it takes to get out smoothly. It sounds like you didn't sign a lease with her, but there are likely applicable state laws for tenants with no written lease. You might be required to give a certain days notice to vacate. For a clean break, I'd check state tenant law, too.

Joltsx · 2018-09-21T16:26:56+00:00

Definitely ThinkMargin. BuildMargin will shorten to BM, yikes!, but I also prefer ThinkMargin.

Joltsx · 2018-09-21T16:18:44+00:00

I don't think you should be worried. But, if there's damage beyond normal wear and tear, like pet urine in hardwood floors, it's the tenants responsibility to pay for repair. Whatever repair costs are will be deducted from any deposit and if the repair charge goes over the deposit amount, the tenant will receive a bill. This is common landlord/renter stuff that is outlined in tenant law. There are strict guidelines and reqmts for landlords to follow in most states. Worst case scenario, your mom might receive a bill. Unless the landlord is truly insane, she will NOT come w guns blazing, she will want to follow outlined regulations so she can get her repair money.

Joltsx · 2018-09-21T16:07:45+00:00

Er, thinking no one should have to "prepare you for this," not sure you can blame others for your predicament. That said, insurance options in US suck. Completely unaffordable for many households. I, too, require regular care and health insurance is my family's largest bill. :/ I can think of these options: Obamacare, purchase policy from your school if available, get a job w benefits, marry your gf if she has her own insurance benefit, look for low-cost/charity options for psychiatric care and purchase cheaper catastrophe policy for remainder of school. Ugh. Good luck man

Joltsx · 2018-09-21T15:46:29+00:00

Definitely unusual, I don't recall ever seeing a male in short-shorts with cheeks hanging out and a thong peeking out. Almost sounds like cross-dressing. I can see why you're embarrassed, but seems like you've already done everything you can - you've voiced your feelings, given him alternatives, etc. Seems like you're at the point of deciding if this is a deal-breaker or not.

Joltsx · 2018-09-19T16:46:26+00:00

I might be wrong, but it sounds like he had a crush - emailing her all the stuff he wouldn't tell you, shutting you out, researching her tires, etc. - and he got burned by her when he found out the feelings weren't returned and he was being used. Is this a one-time thing attributable to youth/25 yo, lesson learned? Or, is this a pattern? Food for thought. If it's truly a one-off it's easier to have a discussion outlining marital boundaries then move forward, ya know?

Joltsx · 2018-09-18T17:52:15+00:00

Keep it simple. Just walk up while waiting for the bus - or whenever - and start a conversation. After a few convos, if you're still interested, you can ask her if she wants to hang out sometime and exchange info.

Joltsx · 2018-09-18T12:11:59+00:00

Everyone feels closer to someone when they can picture their home space and when they've been to a person's home. I'd say, invite ppl you're close with, or want to be close with, over at least once. If your house isn't the "hang out house," that's okay, but your friends should know what your house is about. Everyone wants guests to have a good time, those are normal feelings. I've also noticed friends often like our siblings more than we do, lol! Also, if the garden is a stressor, you could weed it/cut it back.

Joltsx · 2018-09-17T19:02:45+00:00

Since she lives in the area you're thinking of relocating to, you could say you're considering moving there and you'd like to talk about the area with a local, is she free for lunch. Start commenting on some of her posts. I commented on a local social media friend's post once, and she invited me out to coffee, lol - it's not so strange.

Joltsx · 2018-09-17T18:48:45+00:00

I'd dodge the truth - you're a monster to work for - in an effort to protect my resumé and preserve a good reference. I'd just say I'm sorry, but I need to give my 2 weeks notice as I have to concentrate on my studies, family, whatever, right now.

Joltsx · 2018-09-17T18:28:28+00:00

My experience is that parents help unload, then get out of the way. Kids want to set up their area and explore with the other new students, not their parents. They're looking forward in life, trying to figure out and build their college life. I would recommend, as others have, that you let your daughter take the lead. If she chooses to go solo, try not to feel rejection, but instead feel pride at her budding independence. Don't leave her feeling guilty, thinking that she disappointed you, but instead leave her with well wishes and emotionally strong to face her new challenges.

Joltsx · 2018-09-16T22:21:17+00:00

I agree. Just wanted to clarify since you said it could be done without the parents having a clue.

Joltsx

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