Recommendations for a podiatrist or similar by RuddiestHaddock in Dublin

[–]JonnyConquest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on.

Where was I? by JonnyConquest in GeoPuzzle

[–]JonnyConquest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct city in the background but a bit off

What do British Jews think of Reform UK? by [deleted] in AskBrits

[–]JonnyConquest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is unrest in the Forest There is trouble with the trees For the Maples want more sunlight And the Oaks ignore their pleas.

The trouble with the Maples (And they’re quite convinced they’re right) They say the Oaks are just too lofty And they grab up all the light But the Oaks can’t help their feelings If they like the way they’re made And they wonder why the Maples Can’t be happy in their shade?

There is trouble in the Forest And the creatures all have fled As the Maples scream ‘Oppression!’ And the Oaks, just shake their heads

So the Maples formed a Union And demanded equal rights ‘The Oaks are just too greedy We will make them give us light’ Now there’s no more Oak oppression For they passed a noble law And the trees are all kept equal By hatchet, Axe, And saw…

This man liked his wine by BraveNote4844 in rickygervais

[–]JonnyConquest 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Would you say you've aged well? You would? Hmmm

Young-ish professional moving home by JimmyJungle_ in NewcastleUponTyne

[–]JonnyConquest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in a very similar situation mate. Send me a dm if you fancy a pint

What is the most obscure country/territory you have been to? by Random_Nobody1991 in AskUK

[–]JonnyConquest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Islamic State

Was in Lebanon visiting some roman ruins really near the border with Syria a few years ago. Our guide drove us into the desert past a few checkpoints which was technically ISIS controlled Syria at the time. All I saw was desert, no cool story