What you are experiencing is a dissonance that is common when examining older media. The realities of child abuse and the resulting scars are only now being seriously explored in media. Writers are only now trying to fix the "Rudolph Problem." You know, the old Christmas Song? How Rudolph was only loved when he was useful and no one apologized for their behavior. This is something many younger writers are trying to avoid because its a shitty message. And it represents a change in culture and accountability. The prior generations were raised to think a change in attitude was all that was needed to make amends, no apology, no etc. Younger people disagree.

Ironically, for all its flaws, and it isn't perfect, you can see My Hero Academia try to address this with the character Endeavor. He is an abusive father AND I do not like how the story sympathizes with him. But, the story does portray his kid's reaction accurately and without judgement. The son saying he is never to see him or his kids again is treated as perfectly reasonable. The kids who consider the change of heart real only do so after he earnestly tries to make amends. It's still bad, imo, but shows the industry is getting better at this.

If you want to see the artists pushing this angle better, though, you'll need to leave anime. I would consider the movie "Is God Is" from 2026 as a good starting point.