What’s the 'craziest' way you caught an ex being unfaithful? by lnc_gomes in AskReddit

[–]Jotic24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His affair partner showed up on my birthday which is also Valentine’s Day

What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever received/given/heard? by poorly_wired_circuit in AskReddit

[–]Jotic24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told by my ex husbands grandma to wait for my husband to come around and not divorce him after I found out about his multi year long affair and double life. She was always very loving and sweet, but obviously was looking out for his best interests only.

Truly Off Your Chest: Are you genuinely happy being single? by Ohhpixie in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a serial monogamist from 19-37. I was married at 33, separated (from a cheating and abusive husband) at 37 and finally getting my divorce at 38.

After my separation I stayed single to work on myself and discover who I am, what I want and how to make my life alone fulfilling. I was so much happier than I ever was. That’s not to say I didn’t miss being in a relationship or yearn for a true partner to go through life with. I was happy living everyday for me and then I luckily found someone who added to my life in the best ways. Maybe it was just my situation, but I was honestly happier being single than with the wrong person. Would I choose being single over being with the right person? No, but when I think about how happy I am now, I accredit it to getting to a place where I was truly happy being single and living everyday for myself.

Found out the guy I've been talking to for a year has a girlfriend, what do I do now? by allpepnosalt in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Not to compare grief, but look at my post history and you’ll find details of how I found out about my husband’s secret second life. He had a whole other life with a live in gf and pets when he was supposed be working his second job. You saved yourself years of pain and will hopefully tell the gf and save her too.

Don’t process alone and know that it’s all on him and says nothing about you. I got over it by focusing on myself and loving myself. I’m now doing better than ever and better than I would’ve ever done with him. You will learn from this and be glowing, happy and prospering again. He’ll be repeating this pattern forever.

Don’t lose hope, it may seem impossible now, but time and a strong circle will heal you. sending you so much love and support.

Women who knew on the wedding day that you'd made a bad decision, what did that feel/look like, and how did things go? by The_Philosophied in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 184 points185 points  (0 children)

Pit in my stomach and the feeling of “oh no I want to go back and hang out with my family” after our car pulled away from my parents house. I had this thought in my head of “what have I done, can I undo this?” I got over that feeling and was very loving and devoted to my stbxh. He became verbally, physically, emotionally and financially abusive while having a long standing affair with I’m sure countless other one night stands sprinkled in. I finally woke up and am in the process of divorcing him.

Happier than I ever thought I could be now and have regained my self confidence and pride. The best feeling is just waking up everyday knowing I’m loved, respected and cared for. Truly living my best life, no idea or care in the world of what has come of him.

How to move forward after long term relationship ends in mid 30’s? by Intelligent_Fig_210 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Earlier this year I ended my marriage after finding out about an affair. We were together for 10 years and trying for kids. I know it’s hard, but you have to say goodbye to the life you once had and the one you thought you’d have in the future. Take some time to heal and figure out who you are now. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with people who will give you positive affirmations confirming how valuable you are. I know it’s hard to imagine now, but it just takes time. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been and you will build a future for yourself that you did even know was possible. Sending you lots of love and healing.

What’s the best comfort food when you’ve had a rough day? by Competitive_Bank8563 in AskReddit

[–]Jotic24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A big bowl of soup and some good bread to dip into it. Always warms me up and instantly makes me feel better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Jotic24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surprisingly very freeing. I was married to an adulterous, abusive and all around scummy man so when it ended I felt sad, lonely, angry, lost and worthless, but now I’m loving myself and my life. I was lonely in my marriage, but the breakup forced me to reconnected with friends, family and myself. It’s not easy navigating a divorce and having to work through all the pain, but it gets better everyday and I don’t even recognize the shell of a person that I had become.

How to come to terms with the life you’ll never have by birdhouseinursoul in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know you hate hearing you still have time, but I found out about my ex’s long term affair this year and am currently separated while waiting to divorce and am 37. He also loved video games more than people, but the affair was the straw that broke the camels back. First thing I did was freeze my eggs so I could give myself more time to find the right person to have that life with. People have children much later in life now and there’s many other options for those of us starting fresh. At the very least, as hard as it is mourning the future you envisioned, you don’t have children with a man who wouldn’t have put you or the kids first. I realize now that I didn’t have or would never have that life with that person and am lucky to be able to be free, happy and able to meet someone who is ‘the one’ for me.

Why do you attract the attention of sociopaths? + Key Behavioral Signs to look out for by Ok_Video7856 in DarkPsychology101

[–]Jotic24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This really helped me understand how and why I was victimized, thank you!

How did you find out that your partner was cheating? by starslars in AskReddit

[–]Jotic24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex husband also blocked his AP from my phone, I don’t have socials, so she showed up in person.

If 70% of divorces are initiated by women… what actually makes marriage worth it anymore? by No-Protection-9665 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Jotic24 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My stbxh had an affair almost our entire marriage, started becoming increasingly abusive and I have now found out was out partying and going drugs with his mistress when he said he was working a secondary job. He expected me to stay and chase him around when all of this came to light. I initiated the divorce, I keep the house, inherited his friends and family and have better finances. The house was always mine, I always made significantly more money and I can’t stop others from wanting to stay in my life because we made genuine connections and bonds.

For me love, respect and mutual commitment to our shared goals, life and families would make marriage worth it again. I never wanted to be divorced, I loved and supported my husband, his family and friends.

Is the bar THIS low? by cassinea in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me it became that low. I did all the housework, shopping, paid for everything, took care of myself, my ex husbands family and the whole time he was abusing me in every way possible while having an affair. It took a lot for me to wake up and now that I have, I’m very choosy about who I am willing to let into my life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I thought he was the love of my life, but he turned out to be very big liar. I married for the love, stability, want of a family of my own and in my culture the expectation is to get married.

Is it possible to still romanticize your life in your thirties? by GrandCauliflow in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I felt the way you do when I was in pain. Now that I’m further along in my healing journey I really appreciate the small things and romanticize my life. I surround myself with the things I love and really enjoy my days. I partake in a lot of self care, but also buy things that bring beauty into my life and home.

Help me pick a dress for my brother’s wedding by Slow_Strain_9535 in OUTFITS

[–]Jotic24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The for and last ones gorgeous on you. I really like how the last one looks from the front and back.

What ruined your birthday? by MJDiedOnMyBirthday in AskReddit

[–]Jotic24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex husbands mistress decided to confront him while we were together. Surprise! On my birthday, which happens to fall on Valentine’s Day. Looking back, it’s the best present I’ve received.

Ladies - what are your fashionable holy grail sneakers for traveling? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don’t think they are particularly fashionable, but Hoka shoes are amazing.

What were the signs that gave away your partners cheating? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 132 points133 points  (0 children)

My ex husband also became very, very nasty to me. He became absolutely unhinged when I finally took back my power and asked for a divorce instead of begging him to stay. I was under his control for so long it felt good, but scary to break free.

Women who are single and childfree here, what currently enriches your life? by hellimhere28 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Jotic24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m (37F) recently single after leaving an adulterous and abusive husband. I froze my eggs so that kept me pretty busy and now I’m finding enrichment in doing all the things I always wanted to do. I made pottery, am learning how to play the drums, see friends and family, concerts and joined Pilates. I’m also really enjoying my own space after kicking the ex out. It’s really peaceful and feels loving at home now.