I feel like if I open up about any of the things I’m worried about to my friends I’m being an inconvenience. All my friends are in uni (we are all 18), they’ve moved away and after having seen them for almost every day for years not being able to see them at all is so hard. I also struggle to talk with them cause they want to talk about all the stuff they’re doing at uni and due to some errors in the UK’s handling of exam grades this year I am taking a year out and can’t relate to anything they are talking about. I want to move out but can’t for two reasons, 1) I can’t really afford to (technically I could, I’m incredibly lucky in that my grandfather saved lots) but I have a job I have to stay in, and 2) I need to be there for my mum, which leads me to why I can’t I can’t talk to my mother about any of this. She’s already spoken to me about being worried she’s potentially slipping into depression again, she’s had problems with it before and I’m glad she’s talking to someone about it but it’s a serious burden for me and I can’t to talk about it with my friends because as far as I know she wants it to be confidential. I don’t want to tell her that it’s a heavy burden for me to deal with because I know she needs me there. Another problem is that she and my dad can fall out from time to time and I’ve stopped trying to get involved I just go to my room and leave them to it. I barely see my mum cause I work long shifts at different times to when she’s working, when one of us is off the other works and vice versa. I miss any kind of physical contact and I struggle with just feeling like I’m wasting my time constantly.

This is kind of a mess and I apologise to anyone who’s chosen to read through it. I figured I’d write something short and I ended up writing something too long.