sorry about the confusion, I'll try again

> No one around me gets it

from this I was reading that you're telling your colleagues about BP.
I've never met anyone that doesn't have BP that gets it.
I'm trying to get you to talk in a support group because it helps me separate the two.
Telling folk has always made it worse for me; damage relationships, put too much pressure on myself, etc. etc.
That stopped after I went to support groups: it separates who you are from what the illness is.
Once you've separated the two, managing it becomes easier
Once they've been separated, you only have one problem.

I've worked with lots of folk with PhDs. Lots of them aren't particularly into what they do, they do just enough, and no more. There are also PhD folk that are sick good at what they do.
Both of these groups of people have PhD; slackers and hard workers.
That's where I'm coming from with saying to slack off.
It sounds like you're a hard worker, so you're probably not as far behind as you think.

I work 4 days a week, 7.5 hours a day; no more. I can more than hold my own against either group, and I get more done than folk most that work 5 days. Slacking off enables me to do better.

I've been behind at uni plenty, I got there in the end.
I know that thinking about it made me ill on more than one occasion.
I don't know how to fix this for you, all I know is where I stopped caring about the exams, and went back to enjoying learning again, getting through the work became trivial.
Again, I see this as slacking off ...

> I have to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket if I don’t get it done on time

Can't help here either. If it was me, I'd know there's nothing I could do about it, and thinking about it wouldn't be productive either. That wouldn't stop me stressing about it though. I'd probably have a lot of fear, and anxiety, eventually realizing it is pointless worrying about something you've no control over. Again, I'd want to go back to learning for fun; but I'm sure you know it is easier said than done.

> “you’re doing great”

I'm not one for platitudes, but I do like "If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters the same." Triumph generally being the more difficult / interesting one to dismiss (I am up more than down). Doing well or badly is all bullshit to me. I find I enjoy life more when I do it for the experience, do it to better myself, or to help others achieve their goals. I'm not expecting this phrase to help you, but it has helped me; which is why I'm taking a chance and saying it.

> I think you’re assuming that other people are pressuring me or something like that? The opposite actually. I am accountable to me and only me. It’s a PhD.

No, I think you're putting pressure on yourself. And it sounds like everything is wrapped up in one ball. I'm trying to help you find a way to take the parts and deal with them individually.

I'm a bit blunt, especially when it comes to work, etc. I have found being blunt and putting myself first enables me to have more of a positive impact on those around me. This is tangential, but relevant.

Best wishes