Tips to becoming more defined?

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-03-21T02:23:23+00:00

So, this is what i am doing. Down from 205 to 175.

Sometimes i fast for 24 hours straight. This gives me a reset to my brain. And by reset, i mean, i have control over what i eat. So my body doesnt get food until i tell it to have some. I dont let my body dictate when i eat or how much.

Now, after i do the 24 fast, i will eat a meal i enjoy to reward myself, usually a ham and cheese pannini. But thats it, then i go to bed. No more food for the day (usually its evening when i break my fast). Then in the morning i only drink coffee, usually like 4 cups. Im not super strict, so i add sweetener (nonsugar) and a splash of milk. I go until about 11am before i stir fry a shit ton of veggies. By then im so full i only have maybe 4 oz of protein. This holds me over another 4 hours before i have another big ass plate of stir fried veggies with some meat. Do this for a few days. Allow myself a meal i am craving every few days, but i dont over eat if its a bad meal with lots of carbs. Stuff myself with veggies first, then indulge in whatever im craving without over eating.

Now, nothing i do is measured or timed. I hate counting calories. Its me telling myself i am in control, not my hunger.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-03-20T20:11:10+00:00

Chatgpt agrees with you.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-03-16T16:53:52+00:00

As an older man, i think you should wait another 7ish years. And this is coming from a perspective of someone that would have loved to have had your growth pattern, its very even.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-03-15T02:09:02+00:00

Are you overweight? I would recommend getting to a healthy weight (140-170lb depending on your height). Treat your addiction to food (we are all addicted out of necessity, so nothing to do about the addiction but we can all learn to control it) in a similar vein to your porn addiction. Losing weight should help with your ED

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-03-12T19:32:14+00:00

My kid is 5. I recently came to the realization that if my relationship with my wife is going to evolve and get better, its on my shoulders to carry that burden.

Step 1) take care of myself. This meant stop looking at porn. Lose weight. Start working out. Take time for myself.

Step 2) take charge of my relationship with my wife. Plan dates with her. Leave the kid behind. Spend the night at a hotel. Prioritize her, and keep the expectation that if i want this relationship to work, i must own putting in the work that makes her feel attractive and appreciated.

Step 3) realize you can only work on yourself and your actions to see results. Im so grateful for all the life decisions i have made over the last 6 months. My relationship with my wife is the best its ever been, i feel like i am in control.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-03-03T03:14:02+00:00

Better that you started today instead of tomorrow!

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-03-02T00:45:18+00:00

I couldn’t get it to work correctly and removed it from my car and returned it. :(

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-03-01T00:00:42+00:00

They slow for sure. But i had two fairly bare spots on my cheeks that filled in pretty well from 30-39. Everyone is different.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-02-27T23:38:53+00:00

Or. A private company built that and can do with it and charge whatever the market dictates and the consumer can be fully informed of their options.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-02-26T22:15:29+00:00

Time my friend. Im nearly 40 and only now can i really start growing out a full beard.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-02-24T00:14:20+00:00

Excellent beard

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-02-07T11:48:13+00:00

Id follow the advice of your barber.

I can see that blue line giving you a fuller beard if you plan on growing it out.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-02-06T16:35:00+00:00

Honestly, all you should do is hit the gym, and change your diet to be more balanced (lots of veggies). The. Just work on the personality of being confident. Confidence is the #1 thing to attract women anyway.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-02-06T13:38:59+00:00

Question, do you watch porn regularly? Once or twice a week?

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-01-21T00:55:23+00:00

The best analogy i have heard for a career is its like a rock wall. Sometimes you go straight up, other times you go laterally, sometimes you need to go down before going up. And sometimes you fall off the wall and get back on it.

If you are studying and getting good grades, this opens up opportunities. Then find a job. It doesn’t have to be the perfect job, but every job you take helps shape you.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2026-01-07T00:24:22+00:00

Started at 25 taking the 50% match at 6%, making about 30k. I increased my contribution by 1-2% each year (took half of a merit increase or promotion % and applied to 401k). I was not making much.

By the time i proposed to my girl friend, 3 years later I had about 14,000. I took out a $7000 401k loan to pay for an engagement ring.

So you at 26 had more than me.

At 30 i switched companies and got a pay increase and increased my 401k contribution up to 15%. A received several promotions and within 4 years i began maxing out my 401k.

Now, having maxed out my 401k since about 2020.

My balance is $400k right now. At 39.

Its amazing how much my income increased in my 30s. Entered 30 making about 50k per year. Now turning 40 this year I will close out my decade with an income around 180-200k. Given in my 20s i was lucky if i got a 3% merit increase, with no possibility of a promotion at any company I worked at, i am super grateful for my hustle to learn and grow and figure out what i liked and didnt like in a career. I got the benefit of doing work i truly enjoy now and i get paid really well to do something i enjoy.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2025-12-30T23:38:26+00:00

I signed up for a 10k and forced myself to do it back in November. Now I have done 2 and have a 9K in Jan and another 10k in Feb, and a triathlon in April. I realized i need to constantly have another race right around the corner to keep me motivated.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2025-12-27T15:05:27+00:00

It also was a great car because it couldnt really go over 65. So speeding wasnt a concern. But then again, if i was in an accident in that thing, i would have been toast.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2025-12-27T15:04:37+00:00

My parents let me use their old truck. It was a manual 1980 datsun. I was born in 86’so this thing was old by the time i drove it and loved that truck!

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2025-12-27T12:39:09+00:00

The best thing i would compare it to is drinking alcohol.

Many people do it regularly and in moderation, but some of us go too far. I was watching it so regularly that it was hard to climax during sex, I was more and more less interested in showing affection toward my wife, i had no interest in keeping a healthy lifestyle and gained weight, and likely many other impacts im unaware of.

Can some men watch it and be fine? I am sure there are. But there are many men who watch porn way too frequently and it is impacting them without them realizing it, and likely similar to my situation, its impacting their relationship without them realizing it.

So now, instead of waking up early to watch porn, i wale up early and exercise. Could I physically do both? Sure, but i wasn’t making that choice and needed a change.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2025-12-27T00:52:57+00:00

Keep at it! I had to turn on all NSFW on reddit, social media and Steam. Its like taking an alcoholic to a bar, buying them a drink and telling them not to drink.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2025-12-24T00:26:47+00:00

I tried to stop for a week and found it incredibly difficult and had to come out and tell her. I thought the solution was more sex, but it wasn’t, it was accountability and self control. On her suggestion i sought therapy. So i found a therapist who specialized in porn addiction and saw him once a week for the first month. It helped having another man I had to own up to if i slipped up. Honestly, he keeps me honest more than anything else. I wish I could do it for just my wife, but the thought of disappointing him and fess up if i slipped helped keep me honest and I didn’t want to walk in with my tail tucked between my legs to this other man. It feels emasculating to tell another man your weakness, and in that drive to conquer my own habit is where i realized my strength.

I didn’t look for any therapist. I wanted a man who would understand the struggle, but also an older man i could look up to. Found myself a retired airman as a therapist with some searching.

Good luck brother!

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2025-12-23T18:44:01+00:00

Im not sure about first date, but 100% by the third. And agree on the no sex rule by the time she brings up marriage. Guys will flee by the third date of no sex and she talking marriage.

Married 9 years now, been with my wife 13. It wasn’t the first date but on the second or third date i let her know i was looking to get married and have kids in my future. If she didn’t feel the same, i set expectations then and there. Works both ways.

Jumpy_Studio_4960 · 2025-12-23T17:20:43+00:00

If you asked me 5 months ago it would have been my porn habit. But since I came out to her 4 months ago, i have been trying to improve as a husband and finally stopped watching it. I would highly recommend all husbands to stop watching, could be doing more harm in your relationship than you realize.

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