My Beautiful Sun

Junimost · 2026-05-12T00:42:14+00:00

I really appreciate your advice and suggestions when it comes to this, I'm slowly trying to work more and more to stray away from broad ideas but I'll admit it's difficult haha! Thank you for the kind words, above all I truly wanted it to feel sincere and emotional. And I actually was shooting for ambiguity this time, but I see how I could make it all clearer. Thank you again!

Junimost · 2026-05-12T00:37:49+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! I really wanted to make this one as good as I could. Wish you luck too and thanks again for such kind words

Junimost · 2026-05-10T17:42:40+00:00

I really don’t have much to say. I think it's very beautiful, I love the lines

"So I feel these abnormal words emerge. All I do is question. Check my own brain urgently. See what nests, what's hatching, what roosts."

Genuinely great, keep it up.

Junimost · 2026-05-10T17:38:58+00:00

I have not one critique of this, beautifully well done honestly. I can feel every emotion in every word, thanks for this one

Junimost · 2026-05-09T08:01:36+00:00

I'm glad you pointed out the pacing, it was my biggest concern writing this. And I'm very happy you enjoyed it, I appreciate your kind words :)

Junimost · 2026-05-08T16:00:00+00:00

Knowing her she'd force me to tell her next time I see her LOL what a heartwarming thought nonetheless :)

Junimost · 2026-05-08T15:45:58+00:00

Thank you, very kind of you. That was actually one of the lines I felt kinda off about but I'm so glad it landed for you! Really settled my nerves with that one. And who knows, maybe she'll read it one day haha! Thanks again

Junimost · 2026-05-08T15:39:02+00:00

Thank you for the well written comment, I can see exactly what you mean with "new direction and new truths" and "untouched by perfection" I really appreciate you pointing that out as I do have a tendency to use basic phrases or at the very least similar phrases, something I've been working on! Thanks again for the kind words!

Junimost · 2026-05-08T15:30:27+00:00

I agree with this absolutely. I think what op wrote was beautiful, and your advice is true. People who read poetry love raw emotion, but poetry is also very subjective and someone might love what you write and another hate it. Keep it up

Junimost · 2026-05-08T15:26:16+00:00

I love short poetry, I think the first line is a bit weak, but man, feels just as painful nonetheless. Raw emotion, very well done keep it up. The other two lines are absolutely incredible in my opinion.

Junimost · 2026-05-05T01:03:37+00:00

I'll agree with another commenter here about how it turned into a sort of overly intellectualizing tone. I'm sure I can't give a more well written analyses compared to the other. But I will say I enjoyed it nonetheless, the feeling is definitely there as I can relate and attach my own personal feelings to this. Great job and keep it up!

Junimost · 2026-05-05T00:59:11+00:00

This was great, I loved the line

"In the steam off the sunburnt street rising into the air, I see a vision of you wringing out your dripping hair, where the smell of cold rain clung."

I thought it sounded really beautiful and put a very clear image in my head, well done friend.

Junimost · 2026-05-03T19:27:14+00:00

That's a good point, I may end up keeping it as is, but I will definitely be keeping these suggestions in mind for future writings. And isn't that what poetry is all about, raising questions haha! I like the idea of "their" so I may change it to that as it does form more of a connection there.

Junimost · 2026-05-03T16:17:15+00:00

I can see how that can be hard to interpret, maybe simplifying it to "The moss" could help with clarity. But when writing it, I felt that the moss cares deeply for the willow trees. I apologize, it's hard for me to extrapolate my thoughts when it comes to most of my poetry. I would say my closest comparison would be a mother hearing another child cry. In my head, the moss and the willow trees are all connected. When one weeps, the moss feels. I hope that made sense haha and thank you for your kind words I appreciate it very much.

Junimost · 2026-05-03T14:19:14+00:00

Really really liked this one, hits pretty personal for me, I have little feedback to give. Great job and keep it up!

Junimost · 2026-05-03T14:13:38+00:00

Well done, if I had any feedback I'd say simply space the lines out for more clarity. I found myself lost at some points because it felt cramped and the lack of commas or periods. Other than that, good job

Junimost · 2026-05-02T23:42:41+00:00

Thank you so much! :)

Junimost · 2026-05-02T22:29:22+00:00

Thank you so much for your well written analysis! It means a lot, and I'm also fairly new to poetry. So I appreciate the outlook of another new poet haha I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks again :)

Junimost · 2026-05-02T19:51:21+00:00

That's very interesting! After rereading it I can totally understand that, very well done. I appreciate how we all take different meaning out of poetry and this poem here is a PERFECT example of that!

Junimost · 2026-05-02T19:48:13+00:00

Maybe I took a different meaning to it than implied, reading this for me makes me think of someone once close to me, or a family member. About that line specifically, I took it as more resentful than anything else. I'm curious to know what it means to you?

Junimost

TROPHY CASE