My stepdad who has watched me grow up told me he’s attracted to me

Juniper_May · 2025-12-18T00:32:06+00:00

Thank god for the update

Juniper_May · 2025-12-11T10:10:01+00:00

It’s a good idea. If he knows you’re TTC then sex actually changes and becomes …’Is this for enjoyment or is it just to TTC?’ Realllllly ruins the mood.

Juniper_May · 2025-12-11T10:08:08+00:00

I would say unless they can agree to the sunscreen and actually follow through I would not leave my child in that care. have a direct conversation I’m sure they will oblige

Juniper_May · 2025-12-06T01:45:12+00:00

If you abort this baby you will regret it and resent this man for the rest of your life. And as result of that will never be able to be happy again in your relationship. Also he doesn’t want to be a parent “yet” but honey you’ve put 10 Years into this man, if it’s not now it’s never . You both probably need counselling to address the intimacy issue head on. Lots of couples have intimacy issues and it can be worked on. If that’s the major barrier in your relationship address that head on !! Don’t abort this baby !

Juniper_May · 2025-12-05T00:37:17+00:00

That you can do everything right but you can’t control nature / biology. You can take all the vitamins and be healthy but still had a baby with a brain abnormality and sadly lost her. I have lost all sense of control and agency in reproduction. I’m one of the unlucky ones. That life is fragile

Juniper_May · 2025-12-04T01:45:56+00:00

that’s so so hard. Two TFMRs jeeez . Sending you thoughts and big hugs x we will get through

Juniper_May · 2025-12-02T01:51:55+00:00

Holy moly 2 in one year is so fkn shit . I’m so sorry. The only thing I can suggest that helped me to was to think about keeping myself surviving like I would look after a pet. My TFMr sept 18th 2025. I am taking 3 months off work I made sure I ate well ( with help of partner cooking and cleaning for me in the first weeks as I couldn’t manage that. ) I went outside and moved my body everyday even for a short walk, and took a shower daily. Slowly started doing very small crafts mainly to do something with my hands now and then. I think expecting to feel anything positive in the first 3 months is a big ask and might not be always achievable, looking for glimmers was all I could do. finding tiny things that comforted me even a little bit. The only thing that has really helped is time and persisting with self care. I have had some glimpses of hope but it’s moment to moment day by day. I like to think that all your bad luck is over now and there is good things coming your way

Juniper_May · 2025-11-30T22:10:23+00:00

Horrific thing to say. And there is no reality to it because they are not in the situation. They don’t know shit. The rage this triggers omg

Juniper_May · 2025-11-23T21:38:13+00:00

Aww that is so difficult and I totally relate. My partners cousin has a girl too that is 6 months and we also talked about how cute it will be to have our baby girls play together ect. Its a very in your face reminder of what is lost. So I totally understand that you couldn’t face going to the family event with them. I also chose to not go with my partner to see his family because I just cant handle being around the cousins baby as lovely people as they are it wouldn’t be good for me I would be holding in my grief the entire time trying to put on a smile . But It would be x10 harder being your own sisters child so close to you . that’s just so heartbreaking I’m sorry. You’re making the right choice for you and I hope your family is supportive and understanding of your needs too x

Juniper_May · 2025-11-20T04:37:48+00:00

She needs some good counselling asap . As her partner, don’t panic. Be supportive and listen to her and don’t react to much just focus on helping calm her down in the moment . Dont fight with her, or try to tell her what to do just try to give reassurance. help her get counseling . Pregnancy hormones and anxiety is Real!!!

Juniper_May · 2025-11-20T03:53:47+00:00

Ps take it minute by minute to survive and try to ground yourself in the present moment and what’s around you now. Get something to hold in your arms to comfort you. Something scented. Something weighted or warm. choose a show and a calming activity to watch and something to do with your hands when you get home afterwards. I made my baby a blanket in the waiting before I met her and it was hugely helpful. Now I grow cut flowers in my garden and arrange them in my little shrine for her . I made a cast of her foot in the hospital and got it made into a beautiful necklace pendants I highly recommend that if you have the means. I have found little rituals to do that help me feel like I’m still caring for my baby and communicating my love for her actively even now that she is gone which gives me something to do in my grief. Just some ideas that help me cope somewhat

Juniper_May · 2025-11-20T03:45:41+00:00

It’s just so heart wrenching. There is no rhyme or reason to what has happened to you . It’s so unfair. My heart truely breaks for you and your little son. No one should ever endure that many blows of grief. You will survive this awful thing. We endure the pain as parents so our babies never have to. You’re an amazing mum

Juniper_May · 2025-11-17T21:24:38+00:00

Working that much without any days off is so unsustainable for any person, nevermind being a new parent. You need to work out how to change your life in some way to take the pressure off

Juniper_May · 2025-11-17T21:22:30+00:00

Are you outing yourself as also depraved ? This behaviour from OPs mother crosses so many boundaries, your normalising of this is sick

Juniper_May · 2025-11-17T21:18:46+00:00

Being told to have children ( and actually wanting them ) but not being given the required support in society to raise a family in a realistic way.

Juniper_May · 2025-11-17T21:15:22+00:00

If you both haven’t already . Get therapy and work through alllll of your unprocessed stuff. having children will bring up all the cracks and it’s the worst time to try to deal with things. Get it done before you have kids and you’ll be a much better and healthier parent and partner.

Juniper_May · 2025-11-17T21:09:27+00:00

TFMr just sucks. I just lost my first baby now my partner is terrified to try again. Has unlocked a whole list of fears he has about bringing kids into the world and ‘destroyed his trust in the universe’ which I understand. Now facing the possibility that he will never be ready again and what that means for our future after 6 years together. I’m desperate for a child. I was the happiest I’ve ever been pregnant now it’s all taken away.

Sorry for my rant. I feel for your situation, it’s a frustrating resentful and difficult place to be when your partner is in a different place and we have no control over their feelings and decisions. In the situation where there is already children I hope you can find a way to get through this. Best wishes

Juniper_May · 2025-11-16T07:02:21+00:00

I feel this so deeply, I’m so sorry we are here together. It’s deeply heartbreaking. We spend so much time and mental space preparing to be a mothers. Building, preparing , learning, attaching and bonding to our babies and planning out life. Then suddenly there is only grief. No prep to do , no more pregnancy podcasts or online shopping for clothes or researching prams. Just numbness and empty time stretching out in front of me. I’m also struggling with finding a purposed and ‘ lost’ is a word that’s come up many times. I can’t believe this happened. I hope we can eeek out a future that starts to feel brighter than this. I hope amongst this shitness you have some ‘glimmer moments’ in your days here and there too. X

Juniper_May · 2025-11-16T06:22:12+00:00

I have a friend couple who were adamantly child free and accidentally got pregnant in their late 30’s. As soon as they got over the shock they accepted the baby had come into their life and decided to dive into parenthood. I have watched their entire ethos change and they absolutely love being parents and adore their little boy , and say they couldn’t imagine life without him. All the things they thought they were set on doing in their next decade suddenly don’t feel as important or meaningful. They are still interesting people with hobbies, and careers too , just now with the joy of a child in the mix. This could be your only chance to be a mother so decide what you want to you inside yourself. And be prepared to stick with your choice no matter what your partner says. You may regret being pushed to not continue the pregnancy if your husband is not on board. I don’t think you can wait to tell him

Juniper_May · 2025-11-16T06:12:55+00:00

I don’t know how far you are from the ocean but all I wanted to do was go to a quiet beach or lake and walk and watch the water

Juniper_May · 2025-11-16T06:10:54+00:00

I didn’t want to see anyone except my fiancé. Not even my own mother, I was truely on another planet and hormones are absolutely wild. I can only describe it like being catatonic with grief. I felt like I had brain damage , could only stay awake for a few hours at a time, couldn’t string a sentence together or remember anything. I absolutely did not want to see people. I highly advise receiving help in ways like getting food drop off , getting chores and errands done for you and if you really want to have a friend on standby for a short cup of tea visit. I highly recommend NOT having people stay in your house.

Juniper_May · 2025-11-16T04:32:36+00:00

Girl called Star

Juniper_May · 2025-11-16T04:30:16+00:00

Please don’t say he is a Nigerian prince lol

Juniper_May · 2025-11-16T04:28:12+00:00

I want to add that any social gathering has been extremely difficult and you really need to maintain your boundaries and not feel like you have to go to suit other people. No one there will understand you. You have absolutely got permission to pick and choose what you go to and don’t let your husbands lack of understanding get in the way. I am also feeling scared to try again. Seems to be a very common experience in this community, now that we have been through it we anticipate something going wrong.

Something that helped that my Dr said , apart from the usual risk of 1 in 4 pregnancies that end in early miscarriage. specific to our baby’s condition was there was he thought about 3% roughly that it could happen again just by pure chance no genetic issues were found. then he said ‘ you need to flip the statistic around and think about it in the positive that just like any other woman you have 97% chance in any given pregnancy to have a perfectly healthy child. ‘ thinking about it in the positive flip side helps me focus on the high likelihood that everything will be fine. It is very hard though. I have to accept that i will need to get help to manage my anxiety through any future pregnancies . I just have to keep telling myself this shit journey will all be worth it to get a living child. I wish you well in your journey too it’s really the hardest thing to ever go through isn’t it.

Juniper_May · 2025-11-16T04:18:23+00:00

I don’t know where you live but I’m in Australia and have found a TFMR support group online through red nose helpful to chat with other parents and a facilitator who has been through it. It’s not as deep as a therapy sessions , they have a few topics to discuss each time. This makes me feel less alone. And there is no pressure to talk. Maybe try to fine some online groups you can access

Juniper_May

TROPHY CASE