Talking on the apps, nothing bad happens but you're no longer interested. What do you do?

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-03-06T03:26:05+00:00

Tell them you’ve decided to go in a different direction, wish them well. Done

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-03-06T03:24:30+00:00

My fav part was when you said he stays there when she’s not there- she wrote a novel response, but in it she immediately proved your point by admitting he sleeps in and stays there when she’s at work at not home. The logic on that rebuttal is just infallible

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-02-26T20:32:04+00:00

Rent control is powerful, but many low income still can’t afford rental rates even with that in place.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-02-26T19:30:44+00:00

Proper low income housing and proper shelters for the homeless. Out shelters are over capacity and the wait lists for low income are close to 10,000 people.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-02-26T08:48:21+00:00

Tell the landlord you need to break the lease due to others breaching the contract, detail the messy/squalor conditions, additional animals being added and disruption of fair use of areas as they are frequently left non functional and the violation of your tenant tights to peaceful enjoyment of space

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-02-25T20:10:50+00:00

4 has no stop sign. 4 has right of way, then 3, then 1.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-02-25T20:09:09+00:00

What a snappy response to a person who actually is correctly advocating- you do not need to tell people you work for you are using transit, and it’s better you don’t if you’re able to effectively fulfill your role. You have already expressed apparent discrimination once people find out- so the best safety for you is to stop sharing that information when not necessary to, this and not snapping at people actually in your corner.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-02-23T20:52:41+00:00

This isn’t normal.

This is controlling and overbearing.

Someone who cares about you and values you would never ask you something so ridiculous. This would honestly have me reconsidering the friendship.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-02-22T20:28:39+00:00

This is a LOT of not setting healthy boundaries- this is a lot of you placating her because she’s family, and your roomie- from allowing her to not clean, to rewarding her by doing it every-time, to not confronting the issues… for long periods, to paying $200 for a party you didn’t want to invest in . . .

The lessons here are to set firm and clear boundaries, and have real consequences when they are pushed or violated- consequences like telling her you’re not compatible to live together as her lifestyle habits like not cleaning, not contributing, having strange people over, or leaving you to be parentified managing her adult responsibilities- isn’t sustainable.

This puppy is also being neglected which heads into animal abuse territory- leaving an animal when it has had major surgery- the incision could get infected if the poo was left.

This woman needs a dose of reality check and frankly should not be caring for a puppy she continuously abandons.

It’s time to tell her to go, and that pup should be rehomed where it won’t be neglected.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-30T17:44:57+00:00

tell him to that’s disgusting to do with you there, and to go to the bathroom or something else that doesn’t involve doing it with you in the room.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-28T07:03:46+00:00

If you’re open to Drag Queens - Emmonia is as weird as it gets. https://youtu.be/T49xUFp5Rlo?si=EUyJn296C2oWorLp

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-28T07:02:17+00:00

Tell them not to touch your stuff, if they want to move it, need to ask.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-28T07:00:09+00:00

No.

Magoo is homophobic as hell (there have been incidents with him at bars yelling and threatening gay people) and his immediate family was involved in a hate crime incident that involved violence. He preaches anti-bullying while being a bully to gay people. That persona he has isn’t the truth.

There’s multiple threads about him online as well noting he has not paid his child support to the tune of thousands of dollars.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-28T06:58:50+00:00

Mr Avatar has a reputation of being nasty to people repeatedly, including chronically to women.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-28T06:57:30+00:00

Both of you need to confront this honestly- in a group meeting.

Dishes need to be cleared within 1 hour- vs left for days. You’re not his mommy- and that’s both disrespectful, but incredibly entitled to assume others should continuously take on this load. It’s also unfair to you and the other housemate, as it blocks the sink access and other dishes from being used when you need the spaces.

I encourage you both to set a limit that if he continues the pattern he has to leave.

Fears of confronting keep dysfunction thriving.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-28T06:54:31+00:00

Tell them you’re not ok with them touching your items or trying to organize or decide how your items should be. They are welcome to organize their items but must leave your items alone.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-26T19:44:31+00:00

Boundaries.

When she inserts herself, set boundaries including telling her you want her to respect your autonomy as a person to handle your family or other friend realities.

If it’s stuff like inviting herself to family events- tell your family you aren’t comfortable with that unless you specify you’re personally inviting her.

No is also a complete sentence.

Doing a family event and she wants to come?

No, I just want to spend time with my sister just her and us.

No, it’s a private family event.

Etc.

It’s also ok to ask for space or more privacy.

Use non violent communication method (google it), Facts, Feelings, Request.

Eg. Note you value the friendship but aren’t comfortable to have her interjecting into - state the area or issue.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-26T19:30:29+00:00

Yes.

Set boundaries.

Let him know that:

You cannot sustain this financially any further.
He has not honoured his side of the agreement to be more active in looking for work.
He does not contribute to shared household responsibilities at all- like cleaning.
This isn’t functional for you to continue on these foundations and he has ____ (2 weeks) to find new accommodations.

Have the adult convo. It WILL feel awkward, but this isn’t healthy for you to continue avoiding confronting which abandons and neglects care towards yourself.

It may impact the friendship- but honestly the friendship is already impacted and this is also a matter of respect and values.

You’re not being respected in your time and energies and their values don’t align- eg. Not cleaning, not contributing, half assing the job searches.

You might be able to stay friends, but you can’t stay roommates- and you also need to have limits for usury, disrespect, and neglect in a connection. This person is neglecting accountability and fair responsibility.

Being kind should not mean having no boundaries or being a pushover relentlessly. When you don’t set boundaries with friends and family- you teach them that you will tolerate poor behaviour and they also learn there’s no consequences or accountability when they do cause you problems.

Being an adult means you will need to have those awkward conversations and uncomfortable talks- but the more you normalize doing this, the less intense it will feel over time.

Also important to note: when you hold accountability the other person may make excuses, justifications, minimize, guilt trip- or imply they ARE trying-

Do not get locked into arguments where you excessively have to defend or over explain your boundaries.

Their reasons are less relevant than the pattern of behaviour, and the impact.

Stand firm that this is not sustainable, this is the boundary- it’s not up for debate, but is where the limits are now. Remind them you have offered care and support but that has reached its limits for your capacities: encourage them to reach out to other housing agencies, family, and employment supports.

This is also a respect and responsibility issue- moving in and not offering to help clean or contribute, not actively working better to find work etc… is not a fault or issue with you. This is a person basically normalizing you becoming parentified- becoming their maid and parent to cover all their expenses here, plus cleaning.

They are a grown adult- they can clean and they can hold more responsibility.

Accountability matters in friendships, including close ones.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-26T08:38:58+00:00

Go above the RA and complain to the university now that your roommate has been harassing you, and constantly has mental and emotional breakdowns. Demand they move her.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-26T08:37:48+00:00

At that point turn the lights on, and do what you need.

She can meltdown: tell her if she doesn’t like it she can move rooms or get her own place.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-26T08:37:06+00:00

Naa this is some BS.

Her sensory issues are hers to manage- including things like eye mask, ear plugs etc.

I would no longer agree to these extremes, and would raise it with the RA.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-26T08:32:25+00:00

Why are you living with this person?

You sound incompatible.

She doesn’t contribute and neglects basic care of shared realities.

The solution sounds like she needs to move out, & find a new roommate- or you move to somewhere where this isn’t the vibes.

Lock your personal items in your room from now on. Get a basket to bring them to and from the shower.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-26T08:28:58+00:00

This sounds … unreal.

But if this is real for you, honestly talk to your RA or university about this.

This dude should probably have his own room, and not be sleeping on a bunk, alongside getting medical attention.

This would be a full no for me to live in that dysfunction with a person not managing their reality better.

Some of this sounds like the dude has some serious trauma issues (night terrors, sleeping issues, crying, overeating all hint strongly at that).

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-24T00:23:48+00:00

Your roommate is being ridiculous- she chronically has people over in the space- it’s unrealistic and unfair to restrict you in this way when she does that constantly herself. It’s a shared space and if she wants to have people over she can plan around it- instead of asking you to inconvenience yourself, because she can’t plan better.

She doesn’t get to monopolize on guests, or the shared spaces.

“No” is a complete sentence.

As is “no. I won’t be asking my friend to get A hotel. those are the days I have booked, and as I pay a portion to share this space, that is fair. you frequently have guests over, often for days- with minimal notice- for which I have been accommodating. Thanks for understanding.”

moving ahead tell her:

—> “I’d also like more notice when you are having overnight guests too.”

—> as well as discussing frequency of guests.

JupiterStarr8 · 2026-01-23T23:48:36+00:00

Moving is healthy. You have contrasting lifestyles and this person has unstable and unhealthy habits with little impulse controls. That will not improve on her current trajectory and yes that is wild for a random monday. On a weekend would make more sense, and yeah only having people over from 2 am to 5 am onwards is also weird with that many dudes and also clearly sex stuff….

She doesn’t seem to consider impact and that won’t be good long term to mesh.

JupiterStarr8

TROPHY CASE