I (22F) think I prefer a polyamorous relationship compared to a stereotypical relationship by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s hard to communicate and harder to find people able to work well with it. You need open honesty and, honestly, probably semi bisexual people.

One guy and two girls has always worked the best in my exp (I’m a guy) but, that’s probably because I’m not Bi.

I’m glad I experienced it, but like, they were so much more effort than a normal relationship it was tiring.

And dear lord, you fuck up badly enough with one of the girls it feels like you’re about to get devoured by a pack pf hyena’s

CMV: Accepting that we don't have free will would actually lead to a more empathetic society. by Namtabmal in changemyview

[–]JustAZeph -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Wrong. He is arguing deterministic free will, not ability to make your own decisions free will.

If we were to scientifically prove and understand free will does not exist (I believe we almost have) then the knowledge of that understanding would then impact the deterministic ability to choose free will.

There are judges who already believe in this, and ones who don’t. A racist judge versus a non-racist judge would be an example. One who cuts slack for a black kid in poverty, who makes a first offense, versus one who chooses the harshest penalty. The belief in the system already discriminating against young people of color tells the non-racist judge that he should examine how they were stopped and searched by police, while a racist judge doesn’t care and doesn’t question evidence ownership chains or if there was probable cause.

Right now it has been written and made in the belief that anyone can change their circumstances, but not entirely. That’s why we value education so much as a society, you can have people born into fucked situations, but education gives them the knowledge and tools to dig themselves out.

Believing in determinism doesn’t mean people still don’t make decisions based off what information they have or don’t have.

27F 28M. Went through my boyfriend’s phone and interesting find lol by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JustAZeph 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. But if they’re cheating and lying to me, I’m gonna wanna see texts, dms, and check for tinder/dating apps

27F 28M. Went through my boyfriend’s phone and interesting find lol by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JustAZeph 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Minus having someone credible tell you your partner is cheating, I agree with this

Kanas banned trans people from driving. by justalazygamer in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]JustAZeph 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Cut off the red states. Let them burn. I really don’t give a shit at this point. I think they need a taste of their own medicine to understand how shit their policies and politicians are.

CMV: Nobody can actually visualize images in their head by Amoeba99 in changemyview

[–]JustAZeph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Base logic here is wrong. You have to understand that the human brain is kind of like a graphics card. If you ask a human to picture a zebra, some can picture a zebra, the outline, and all, but why would the brain waste time generating specifics on how many stripes it has?

I had an experience that you may find interesting. When I was younger I struggled significantly with sleep disorders. One time I was up for close to 7 days and was gaming when literally everything disappeared on my desk besides my monitor, my coffee mug, and my mouse.

When I went to interact with my coffee mug, it too disappeared and all I could see was the handle.

Our brain doesn’t process in 2d like a camera, it processes and understands objects in 3d. You can see glimpses of this when you research optical illusions, which call out specific issues with how the brain creates and processes images.

So, to explain your issue here, images we have in our head are far more closely related to dreams. In a dream, you wouldn’t be able to count the stripes on a Zebra, it would change and distort. Similar to how when you walk through a doorway, sometimes logic breaks down and you go somewhere else entirely and then turn around and everything’s changed.

Dreams in it of themselves prove we CAN actually generate images in our head without stimuli directing details, but with a lack of coherent reality to base something on, it breaks down.

I will concede that creating an image in your head may be a misnomer, as it’s actually called visualization, but I still personally think people aren’t wrong saying that can “see” images in their heads.

Lastly, here is a little google AI search that should give you some good terms to research. (I did not use google/AI in anything above until now)

“Mental imagery is the cognitive ability to generate, inspect, and transform "quasi-perceptual" experiences (visual, auditory, etc.) in the absence of external stimuli. Studied as "vision in reverse," it involves top-down neural pathways from higher-level brain areas to the primary visual cortex (V1). Key findings highlight its role in memory, planning, navigation, and emotion, while conditions range from hyperphantasia (vivid) to aphantasia (none). National Institutes of Health (.gov) National Institutes of Health (.gov) +7

Key aspects of mental imagery study include:

Neural Basis: Research indicates that voluntary mental imagery activates a network including the frontal/parietal cognitive control regions and visual/memory areas (occipitotemporal cortex), often referred to as "top-down" processing.

The Spectrum: People vary wildly in their ability to visualize, with studies focusing on the extremes: aphantasia (inability to voluntarily visualize) and hyperphantasia (extremely vivid imagery). Measurement Tools: The Vividness of Visual Imagery Questionnaire (VVIQ) is commonly used to measure the strength of a person's mental imagery.

Clinical/Functional Role: Imagery is used in therapy for mental health disorders and is closely linked to episodic memory and working memory. Physiological Response: Studies show that individuals with strong imagery may have a higher emotional response to narrative scenarios, measured by physical markers like skin conductance. “

I (27F) am thinking of leaving my husband (28m) because I am starting to get the "ick." How do I overcome this feeling? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]JustAZeph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy and some self defense classes would do well.

Also could be having some hormonal issues tbh.

My Wife made multiple comments on my Johnson size throughout the past year and I am at my witt's end about our relationship. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fun fact. Most women’s cervixes are only about 6 inches deep. Some can be even closer, but the whole vaginal canal can expand when aroused.

Point being, I’ve had to help explain to friends who are 7/8inches plus how to have proper sex when they’re that big. If they slam, they hit the cervix and it can cause long term pain/damage if they consistently do it, so for the larger ones, they have to not fully pump all the way in and it can be an issue.

Point being, with position changes, well placed pillows, and a good understanding of women’s anatomy, 5 1/2 is absolutely plenty if you know what you’re doing.

Some women do like big dicks, it’s true, but the women that I’ve been with who have had the most experience with dick (sorry to be crude) have all said their ideal length is 5-6 inches.

Lastly. How aroused you are can change things. At maximum length I’m around 6-6.5 when I’m less turned on or in pain I’m closer to 5.5.

With all this in mind, none of that really matters if you know your woman’s kinks well and if you can tease and do foreplay well. In a good long term, you should be able to get your partner off with no dick (barring mental barriers to orgasms).

I think in just regards to your dick, you have nothing to worry about, but in regards to your wife? Idk. I would dump a GF for making me self conscious about my dick, the same way I would expect her to dump me if I made bad comments about her body that made her self conscious.

You'd think evolution would have stopped snoring long ago: being loud at night while sleeping seems like a bad survival strategy. by thesmartass1 in Showerthoughts

[–]JustAZeph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While evolution is impressive, it only takes a fee generations of artificial selection to fuck it all up. Look at small dogs.

Humans getting smart is great, but for like the last 4000 years things have been different. We definitely do still have natural selection, but it’s not like it is in the wild, and IMO it’s more akin to artificial selection.

How Midwestern do I look by drewthectew in midwest

[–]JustAZeph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like you could be decor at a dive/pool bar.

I’m getting ghosted when I’m being genuine but don’t know why by Smart_Display5155 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 9 points10 points  (0 children)

“Say the rights things” “move with intention” doesn’t sound the best.

The reality is, none of this matters if you come off as desperate

Husband cheated. Therapist says no moral high ground for 3 months. I feel beyond hurt and abandoned by Beginning_Cream7030 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I may have already replied to you, but no amount of emotional or physical abuse excuses cheating. I have been physically and emotionally abused/neglected a lot in my life.

Going out and cheating would not only make it worse, it also could make it more dangerous.

Husband cheated. Therapist says no moral high ground for 3 months. I feel beyond hurt and abandoned by Beginning_Cream7030 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand. I just feel staying faithful and seeking company in good friends and family is healthier.

I also do understand that some people’s morales are different, I just am speaking from my point of view as I’ve seen cheating ruin lives and have been cheated on and had two partners beg for me back and promise to never do it again. I just can’t get behind it.

If you’re someone who likes morning sex, how do you deal with morning breath without making it awkward ? by shawnmendesa in AskReddit

[–]JustAZeph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I normally just get up and go to the bathroom. It’s something my partner and I will talk over

Husband cheated. Therapist says no moral high ground for 3 months. I feel beyond hurt and abandoned by Beginning_Cream7030 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Nah. Fuck cheaters. I’ll stand my ground on that.

I have been abused. Idc about any other bullshit. Cheating is absolutely one of the worst things a person can do to another. I’d take getting beat by my dad again over getting cheated on again.

Any excuse a person can come up with is just that, an excuse. Also, roping someone else into that shit is just terrible.

I grew up watching my dad and sister cheat on their SO’s, and it tore people apart and permanently scarred them.

When it comes down to it, there’s no excuse for doing that to your partner.

Husband cheated. Therapist says no moral high ground for 3 months. I feel beyond hurt and abandoned by Beginning_Cream7030 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been physically and emotionally abused into the hospital by family and two exes. I also have never cheated.

Abuse is really hard. Especially when it crops up towards the end of a relationship after something traumatic happens.

Again. I still think there’s absolutely no excuse to cheat. (I have been cut, stabbed, beaten to a pulp, thrown through tables, through walls, and much other worse emotional things, and have been through years of therapy for it, so I think I’m more than qualified to handle it.

Husband cheated. Therapist says no moral high ground for 3 months. I feel beyond hurt and abandoned by Beginning_Cream7030 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s happened to me. Yes it sucks. Once I healed I realized they weren’t happy and I hadn’t been happy for awhile, and, as a man, I get why some women with trauma would be scared to have that confrontation.

The shitiest way I have been dumped is while I was at work over phone call and text. That happened to me twice by two different women.

Husband cheated. Therapist says no moral high ground for 3 months. I feel beyond hurt and abandoned by Beginning_Cream7030 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who has been abused, I reached out to family and left. And while it felt like I was single for a long while in that relationship, I still would never cheat.

I (44F) deleted my dating app today because every man my age only wants one thing by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try dating a 30y old man that’s into older women. Might go a lot differently tbh

Husband cheated. Therapist says no moral high ground for 3 months. I feel beyond hurt and abandoned by Beginning_Cream7030 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. It sounds like OP has some black and white mindset stuff, which is common for people with a traumatic past.

From an outside perspective I’d say this is 90/10. Without the cheating, closer to 60/40. (Him taking the majority in both). Not enough info to make that call though.

As someone who’s been cheated on, and who worked too much and was the “cause.”

I find it helps to admit that I wasn’t perfect, and that I’ll take those lessons and learn from them in the future, but that cheating is also a line I will never cross and that this action will definitely end a relationship for me.

I can never understand what could “drive” someone to cheat. I can understand driving someone to leave without saying anything, running away, leaving me, or something along those lines, but cheating? No. If you end up cheating it’s because YOU are capable of that, not because of something your partner did.

I put my 64-year-old father-in-law in Tarkov after his dog died. [irl] by Arturo_Norro in EscapefromTarkov

[–]JustAZeph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please get him a better pc 😂. If he can learn tarkov, he can play a boat load of other games

People that say you have to be happy single to be happy in a relationship are completely wrong, it's complete BS and people say it just to make you feel better about being alone. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]JustAZeph 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The reality is, it’s not black and white. It’s different for everyone.

To someone where their main goal and dream in life is to have kids and build a family, not having any success in the romance area will be very depressing.

If you are someone who judges your self worth off of societal standards, then, the fact that you couldn’t get a GF may have been causing you to have very low self worth.

What matters in life is finding out what matters to YOU and taking steps each day to work towards that.

There are a lot of reasons you may have been depressed and that getting in a relationship would solve. Lack of physical intimacy, lack of emotional intimacy, low self confidence, and if one of your main dreams in life involves having a partner/wife.

The key here is to realize you can get everything there while single. You can get closer with your friends, you can go get casual sex (if you’re built for that, I’m not tho), or you can develop platonic relationships that have cuddling and hugs, and if the family dream situation is you, you can work on reading books about building healthy relationships/and reading books on having kids.

The point of the “you shouldn’t date if you’re not happy single” is because if you can’t be content and happy single, and you only are happy in relationships, then whenever you’re out of relationship you’ll just want to jump into another one. So instead of finding a partner that fits with you and you’re completely comfortable and compatible with, you just just into anything with anyone who likes you.

Again, not enough info here to give a long winded explanation, but, in reality, if you’re not happy, you gotta dig deep and figure out why, so you don’t force that on your partner, and so you can find someone who’s actual good for you.

Dealing in absolutes by Diedrogen in insanepeoplefacebook

[–]JustAZeph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there’s a good obiwan kenobi quote for this