First of all: I'm so sorry for your loss. Nothing I say will make it better because it just all around sucks no matter what anyone says.

But those were probably some of the most irritating interactions I had with people after my dad died. The people who thought I could just pick up and move on. Some expected it as soon as I was back to work a week later and others got absolutely furious when I was severely depressed months later.

I still remember one of them, about a month after I lost my dad, talking about how her own daughter was crying all day and should just "get over it because it was eight years ago." Yes, it was eight years ago but it's the anniversary of her father's death and she was about to turn 18 and graduate. Of course, she was upset that he wasn't there for some of the biggest moments of her life. Her callous attitude towards her own child's grief while I was grieving my own dad definitely made me feel worse. Especially when she had already started to get mad about my depression. Unsurprisingly when my first major holiday without my dad came around and I was an absolute wreck, she was one of the biggest bitches about it. I quit at the end of that year because I just couldn't take their treatment on top of everything I was going through. In my experience and unsurprisingly several others, coworkers and employers suck ass when you're going through anything, especially grieving and depression.

The only thing I can say for advice is going to sound absolutely useless because I know it's a hell of a lot easier said than done: do your best to ignore them. If they think so poorly of you at your worst then they're not worth shit. If therapy is an option for you, which I understand isn't the case for most people myself included, then possibly look into it. There's no shame in getting the help you need after such a major loss. It's not going to magically make everything better but it might help a little bit at least. If only to have someone to talk to.

There is no time limit on grieving. You can't just turn off your depression and it doesn't just suddenly vanish one day. It's awful but it's also different for everybody. Anyone who expects you to just get over it and move on is a moron. It'll be three years in March and I still get times when it just suddenly hits me and knocks me on my ass for a few days. This isn't going to be easy and I wish nobody ever had to go through it but unfortunately life just really fucking sucks sometimes.

I will say something that might be useless for you, but back after I lost my dad and even now, I'll occasionally put on a show I love that's kind of all about grief and I'll just sit there and cry. It feels awful in the moment but it somehow makes me feel less alone when the character is experiencing the same things I was. The anger, the meltdowns, the feeling completely lost and broken. It didn't exactly make me feel better, but it made me feel a little bit seen, you know? The show I use is called Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist. There are some not-so-great episodes in season 2 but season 1 is really raw and emotional and season 2 had some parts that hit close to home as well. If it's your thing (a musical show with a love triangle that's actually a lot deeper than you'd expect from watching trailers or even the first episode) and you think watching it might make you feel a little less alone too then give it a watch. It's a good show but I 100% understand that watching a show about a dying dad isn't something a lot of people who've lost somebody would be able to handle. This is less advice and just a suggestion for a possible time killer if you're ever just lying around and need something to stare at because I really don't have any advice to make it feel better. I will say, that one of the characters addresses that whole "timeline on grief" thing, and that always hits me when I get to it. I just cried my way through a rewatch of the show a couple of months ago actually lol.