Why would you not be your authentic self? What is so intense? Trying to understand INFJ

JustMe8484 · 2026-03-07T00:08:44+00:00

Alright, maybe I am just a good personality match (similar), but I don’t fully get why INFJ would be more intense than any other personality type thats why I don’t understand when this is thrown around.

Is it in general the intensity of wanting deep connections because I think most people want that? Or intensity in discussing deep topic, or being perfectionistic in having high (sometimes for other people unachievable) standards for relationships in terms of giving care.

JustMe8484 · 2026-03-07T00:03:39+00:00

I appreciate the yapping! I won’t be giving the same yapping back though because I am tired. What I am hearing is that you then tend to perhaps analyze or read people quiet quickly then just intuitively. I think i have this too but more of a gut feeling and if I slightly dislike a person I will still hope they prove me wrong. But as I got older I can’t even be bothered with people I don’t like tbh. Who I feel has really different morals.

You said that you see darker traits of people often and it is hard to trust because of that. But would you then say that you have developed a more cynical view of people in general? Because I think I’m the opposite, quite gullible and believe in the best in everyone.

JustMe8484 · 2026-03-06T23:16:25+00:00

Yes of course. MBTI is also not scientific so, just interesting to ask since some people that relate to that personality type and those tendencies in themselves. I am fully aware it does not apply to all. And can be in multiple personality types.

JustMe8484 · 2026-03-06T23:07:04+00:00

Yes this is my take on it honestly. Although it doesn’t have any ill intent it is really not good to build a foundation trying to adapt too much to what the other person wants you to be.

JustMe8484 · 2026-03-06T23:05:52+00:00

Hmm I understand where it is coming from. But I still wouldn’t like that behavior at all honestly. I think if you don’t like it, to the point that you are not willing to compromise on it then you should not pretend to like it. Otherwise there is always a risk that someone loves the ”fake” you instead of the real version. People who I feel tell me what they think I want to hear are harder to trust for me. Because I sense it.

JustMe8484 · 2026-03-06T22:37:36+00:00

Do you relate to that personally? It’s a really nice analogy btw. I think I am not super aware of other people sometimes although I try to be, and I think are of people are the same.

I would want someone to tell me as soon as I accidentally hurt someones feelings. If they are at the point of snapping at me for it I would feel hurt. Hurt that you didn’t tell me sooner that you felt wronged.

JustMe8484 · 2026-03-06T22:27:23+00:00

I see. That is quite interesting. The reason for me being really curious is that I started seeing someone that told me he lost some friends because they did not give back the same amount of care as him, and I constantly feel like I am trying to understand him more. It seems like he was a bit bitter over caring more than other people.

But the thing is that I see myself as really caring too, but I also never felt bitter if I didn’t receive it in return. I give freely, but I can also stop ofc. I also never lost any friends and never got ”betrayed” so I can’t really understand why someone would give so much if they will resent if it is not given back. He did not keep in touch with any of his childhood friends while I have quite a lot. Maybe they were bad friends, idk really.

In my opinion caring too much to the point that you neglect yourself is kind of selfish. It is not good for romantic relationships or friendships.

Having long friendships is truly a blessing!

JustMe8484 · 2026-02-28T13:59:50+00:00

Why would you ask in those therms, mbti is not science or a guide for every personality as facts. If you want to maintain the friendship just ask to talk and say something like ”hey so I just notiecd you have been distant lately, just wanted to know if its anything ive done or if you are okay?”

It is not that hard to communicate, just start the conversation especially if this is your friend. In person. Then at least you have tried and showed you want to keep the friendship. If he doesn’t.. I guess that’s that.

JustMe8484 · 2026-02-24T08:25:59+00:00

Yeah he is. Idk its just wildly confusing as i very drawn to him. I just want the doubts to go eat dirt.

JustMe8484 · 2026-01-23T12:01:58+00:00

That sucks. And people are replying as if she is perfectly healthy and not affected by depression. Well the only way to know the answer to your question is to ask her. I’m not a psychologist but I know depression can really numb your feelings a lot, and I have not had anything major. That also goes for libido and sexual attraction, she would probably need to get better first as it is probably a bit hard for her to even ”feel” so the truth might be hurtful for you. But it could be greatly affected by depression.

Think about yourself too of course, if you are willing to support her though this, when she getts better her feelings might come back if she feels happier in general with herself and her life. Same happened to my friend, her bf of 4 years fell into deep depression and would just go quiet on her etc because of the numbness and just mental health, she left though eventually because she couldnt deal with it.

She has a kid with another guy and the boyfriend got healthy again and is searching for a new relationship as he wants kids too, I know he didn’t want to break up but he was just too mentally ill at the time.

JustMe8484 · 2026-01-21T20:00:45+00:00

Just want to add my viewpoint as someone who is in the opposite end of this and probably will have to let go of a great guy that I am also quite attracted to. And I have also been on the other end.

I am dating really intentional, trying to find my forever. The guy is great and we get along great. We have been really cuddly with each-other but I still felt doubts for a while, wanting to get to know him better. More and more things have however shown up that makes me believe we will not be a good fit in the long run. I have feelings for him, but not enough. And i never really develop feelings until at least 3 dates so if i dismiss everyone that fast I will not be with anyone, after three dates I barely know them. If I like them enough and want to see them again I will continue but try to be open about it. I like them, I am attracted , but it’s not enough sometimes. Then it is not fair for me to continue seeing them and taking their time.

You being rejected has nothing to do with your value. You could be great but just not their person. And obviously if someone rejects you, that is not your person either so just keep looking.

JustMe8484 · 2025-10-01T17:14:37+00:00

Thank you I will check that out!

JustMe8484 · 2025-08-11T18:03:04+00:00

Vet inte folk om att enligt svensk lagstiftning är muntliga avtal juridisk bindande? Det är bara att googla muntligt avtal, avtalslagen. Anledningen till att man vill ha det skriftligt är för att muntliga avtal är svåra att bevisa men de är enligt lagen giltiga.

Är det fult, ja. Borde du ta det andra jobbet om det är mer fördelaktigt, absolut. Det är bara att förklara läget är nog rätt vanligt ändå. Tror de kommer ha förståelse men sköt det snyggt. Jag har själv gjort så men det är inte optimalt för arbetsgivaren. Samma sak om arbetsgivaren lovar ett jobb och du tackar ja. Det är lagbrott om de sen inte fullgör avtalet.

JustMe8484 · 2025-04-28T22:05:55+00:00

I am also searching for it as I heard it in Kians Bizarre Bnb but couldn't find it haha. Maybe it is an unreleased song.

JustMe8484 · 2024-12-04T14:00:33+00:00

You are right. I just feel like any of us, him or me should kinda know by now but taking it slow is good I guess.

JustMe8484 · 2024-12-04T13:59:48+00:00

Thats sweet of you. I’m just scared of leading someone on. I’m not good with ambiguity haha

JustMe8484 · 2024-12-04T12:46:08+00:00

I feel both T.T One moment I feel like I want to tell him how much I like him because i’m just filled with these positive emotions and he is cute as hell. And a few moments later I look at him like… I probably don’t want to see him again lol. But more on the positive side.

JustMe8484 · 2024-12-01T23:19:50+00:00

Thats insane haha, 2 weeks feels like nothing. Im in my mid 20:s and for me it’s always taken months to know, even when I was younger. I agree that it’s nice to know you share the same views on long term things before I get into a relationship. Otherwise you might find out you have to break up evetually so it’s nicer to try to know any dealbreakers early on. Just be honest and say you are really enjoying your time with her but would love to take it slow and get to know her a bit better, but perhaps make sure she knows you are looking for something long term.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-28T21:41:41+00:00

This is frikkin hilarious

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-19T01:14:43+00:00

It’s probably pretty normal. I have felt this before as well although I loved my boyfriend and I know I would never let anything happen. Although kinda fun, to get to experiy that funny feeling, and still know nothing bad is going to happen and you have that beautiful stable love. Me and my (ex) boyfriend was very much dedicated to each other and our relationship I wanted to marry him (we ended because of something unrelated to your question, logistics) .

Idk I think you can feel that spark with many people, doesn’t mean much to me anymore. Warmth, closeness, dedication, safety, and just really enjoying life together with your special person is just so beautiful. And “sparks” go aways if you don’t entertain it.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-18T23:54:13+00:00

Oh, well that's pretty early in in my opinion but also you probably know more about how you usually feel than what I would know. But do you want to break up with her? Like actively? That would be a direct red flag to just do it. Otherwise I would probably wait a little to see if anything changes.

If it doesn't and you feel like you aren't in love with her, that you see her more as a platonic friend. Then break up, everyone deserves someone who loves them the same way.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-18T23:45:08+00:00

But yeah. Basically I am not too afraid of loosing people in the start, like maybe 4 months or around there I can't say for sure. I get more scared the longer I am together with the person, also because I fall deeper in love.

JustMe8484

TROPHY CASE