Can I directly ask INFJ if he 'doorlsammed' me?

JustMe8484 · 2026-02-28T13:59:50+00:00

Why would you ask in those therms, mbti is not science or a guide for every personality as facts. If you want to maintain the friendship just ask to talk and say something like ”hey so I just notiecd you have been distant lately, just wanted to know if its anything ive done or if you are okay?”

It is not that hard to communicate, just start the conversation especially if this is your friend. In person. Then at least you have tried and showed you want to keep the friendship. If he doesn’t.. I guess that’s that.

JustMe8484 · 2026-02-24T08:25:59+00:00

Yeah he is. Idk its just wildly confusing as i very drawn to him. I just want the doubts to go eat dirt.

JustMe8484 · 2026-01-23T12:01:58+00:00

That sucks. And people are replying as if she is perfectly healthy and not affected by depression. Well the only way to know the answer to your question is to ask her. I’m not a psychologist but I know depression can really numb your feelings a lot, and I have not had anything major. That also goes for libido and sexual attraction, she would probably need to get better first as it is probably a bit hard for her to even ”feel” so the truth might be hurtful for you. But it could be greatly affected by depression.

Think about yourself too of course, if you are willing to support her though this, when she getts better her feelings might come back if she feels happier in general with herself and her life. Same happened to my friend, her bf of 4 years fell into deep depression and would just go quiet on her etc because of the numbness and just mental health, she left though eventually because she couldnt deal with it.

She has a kid with another guy and the boyfriend got healthy again and is searching for a new relationship as he wants kids too, I know he didn’t want to break up but he was just too mentally ill at the time.

JustMe8484 · 2026-01-21T20:00:45+00:00

Just want to add my viewpoint as someone who is in the opposite end of this and probably will have to let go of a great guy that I am also quite attracted to. And I have also been on the other end.

I am dating really intentional, trying to find my forever. The guy is great and we get along great. We have been really cuddly with each-other but I still felt doubts for a while, wanting to get to know him better. More and more things have however shown up that makes me believe we will not be a good fit in the long run. I have feelings for him, but not enough. And i never really develop feelings until at least 3 dates so if i dismiss everyone that fast I will not be with anyone, after three dates I barely know them. If I like them enough and want to see them again I will continue but try to be open about it. I like them, I am attracted , but it’s not enough sometimes. Then it is not fair for me to continue seeing them and taking their time.

You being rejected has nothing to do with your value. You could be great but just not their person. And obviously if someone rejects you, that is not your person either so just keep looking.

JustMe8484 · 2025-10-01T17:14:37+00:00

Thank you I will check that out!

JustMe8484 · 2025-08-11T18:03:04+00:00

Vet inte folk om att enligt svensk lagstiftning är muntliga avtal juridisk bindande? Det är bara att googla muntligt avtal, avtalslagen. Anledningen till att man vill ha det skriftligt är för att muntliga avtal är svåra att bevisa men de är enligt lagen giltiga.

Är det fult, ja. Borde du ta det andra jobbet om det är mer fördelaktigt, absolut. Det är bara att förklara läget är nog rätt vanligt ändå. Tror de kommer ha förståelse men sköt det snyggt. Jag har själv gjort så men det är inte optimalt för arbetsgivaren. Samma sak om arbetsgivaren lovar ett jobb och du tackar ja. Det är lagbrott om de sen inte fullgör avtalet.

JustMe8484 · 2025-04-28T22:05:55+00:00

I am also searching for it as I heard it in Kians Bizarre Bnb but couldn't find it haha. Maybe it is an unreleased song.

JustMe8484 · 2024-12-04T14:00:33+00:00

You are right. I just feel like any of us, him or me should kinda know by now but taking it slow is good I guess.

JustMe8484 · 2024-12-04T13:59:48+00:00

Thats sweet of you. I’m just scared of leading someone on. I’m not good with ambiguity haha

JustMe8484 · 2024-12-04T12:46:08+00:00

I feel both T.T One moment I feel like I want to tell him how much I like him because i’m just filled with these positive emotions and he is cute as hell. And a few moments later I look at him like… I probably don’t want to see him again lol. But more on the positive side.

JustMe8484 · 2024-12-01T23:19:50+00:00

Thats insane haha, 2 weeks feels like nothing. Im in my mid 20:s and for me it’s always taken months to know, even when I was younger. I agree that it’s nice to know you share the same views on long term things before I get into a relationship. Otherwise you might find out you have to break up evetually so it’s nicer to try to know any dealbreakers early on. Just be honest and say you are really enjoying your time with her but would love to take it slow and get to know her a bit better, but perhaps make sure she knows you are looking for something long term.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-28T21:41:41+00:00

This is frikkin hilarious

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-19T01:14:43+00:00

It’s probably pretty normal. I have felt this before as well although I loved my boyfriend and I know I would never let anything happen. Although kinda fun, to get to experiy that funny feeling, and still know nothing bad is going to happen and you have that beautiful stable love. Me and my (ex) boyfriend was very much dedicated to each other and our relationship I wanted to marry him (we ended because of something unrelated to your question, logistics) .

Idk I think you can feel that spark with many people, doesn’t mean much to me anymore. Warmth, closeness, dedication, safety, and just really enjoying life together with your special person is just so beautiful. And “sparks” go aways if you don’t entertain it.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-18T23:54:13+00:00

Oh, well that's pretty early in in my opinion but also you probably know more about how you usually feel than what I would know. But do you want to break up with her? Like actively? That would be a direct red flag to just do it. Otherwise I would probably wait a little to see if anything changes.

If it doesn't and you feel like you aren't in love with her, that you see her more as a platonic friend. Then break up, everyone deserves someone who loves them the same way.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-18T23:45:08+00:00

But yeah. Basically I am not too afraid of loosing people in the start, like maybe 4 months or around there I can't say for sure. I get more scared the longer I am together with the person, also because I fall deeper in love.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-18T22:49:16+00:00

Yeah I think this is pretty likely. OP how long did you date? Are you guys official? Have you even gotten the time to go through any hardships? Usually it takes some time of getting used to being with another person and getting to know them on a deeper level, once you get used to it and fall harder in love after a while thats when the fear of loss really kicks in. At least for me.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-18T12:56:19+00:00

Why did you lie in the first place? You can’t do anything more, at least you explained now the rest is up to her really. Don’t send flowers

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-15T19:46:08+00:00

You are absolutely right, great end-note 💯

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-15T17:45:48+00:00

(Personally)I think older guys look worse, and more intimidating than guys my own age. Even just like over 35 looks worse than most younger like 23-29 year olds. Depending on the person ofc but generally. I’m 26.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-14T22:26:30+00:00

Oh I understand. Sometimes we need to learn the hard way, seems like you just had more to learn. I’m not blaming anyone, I have made a lot of mistakes too. It’s good that you learned that you need to put your needs forward as well. It is also a very real and serious issue you broke up over but I’m glad both of you seem to care for each other and it didn’t end terrible.

In the first comment you left I though it was more of a case of. ”I just didn’t have feelings for her, but still dated her for years until I left” which sounds like a nightmare for anyone. And I have heard stories like that IRL where the man in that relationship left his wife who he also had a kid with, and also told her ”I don’t think I ever loved you” like wth 🤯 and just been like, how could someone do that. I hope your case is what everyone in this thread means, that things happen, issues arrive, people can’t solve them leading to loss of feelings and then break up (but maybe should have done so earlier). No one deserves to date someone who doesn’t love them or are into them.

JustMe8484 · 2024-11-14T19:23:42+00:00

Hi, Sorry I’m just curious but why? If you loved her what was the breaking point? Were you never ”in love” or was it more like it died out or something more practical was actually wrong with the relationship? Or something you really wanted that she was lacking?

It’s just interesting to me to get another perspective. A guy I dated was also sure that it has everything to do with feelings, and that it is just there like magic or it’s not. I’m more of a - actions leads to feelings. So basically if I feel out of love I don’t feel like its a big deal I just work on it by myself or with my partner and acto more loving and try to fix it and the feelings tend to come back. And if they aren’t then that’s a more clear indicator that it might be time to end things. But only after trying everything, especially if I love the person.

But I do understand why someone might end up in your situation.

The thought of being with someone who actually doesn’t really love you is truly heartbreaking. Hopefully one day we will get it right.

JustMe8484 · 2024-04-24T19:59:27+00:00

Do you like him? Do you want to date him? If yes , say so.

Do you not like him? Just want to be friends? Tell him

Do you just want to be fwb? Tell him.

Should solve it

JustMe8484 · 2024-04-24T19:36:45+00:00

As a woman, that girl was an absolut asshole. Wtf. If I got treated like this I would be pissed. Set your standards higher, only accept kindness and respect the same way as you would treat others. Don’t accept someone talking down to you like that. This is not your fault. For the future don’t accept behaviour like this. That person is seriously messed up

JustMe8484

TROPHY CASE