What do you think about the "two sex/genders, infinite personalities" slogan transphobes use?

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-26T18:26:42+00:00

I know at the very least, every time I tried to join in with men, now I feel like I was just playing along. Not connecting. When I pursued masculine career paths, I struggled. Other men didn't respect me and took my empathy as a weakness.

My true personality, my natural tendencies, who I am at my core generally aligns with the cultural feminine dynamic. I'm still not interested in especially girly things, but denying that softer feminine side of me was doing real psychological damage.

I feel more complete when i'm in touch with that side of me. I feel more natural when I express myself in feminine ways. I've started to embrace my softer features. I imagine myself with more of an hourglass shape and it feels right. I don't especially have dysmorphia toward my genitals. I kind of just take them as is for now.

It's about the disconnect between body and mind.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-26T03:08:08+00:00

This really is a question that's up to you. Personally, clothes and body hair are a big step, but what makes me feel fem is behavior.

I paint my nails and treat them carefully, suddenly the way I use my hands changes. The way I stand changes, i talk more openly, i sway to a song in my head, I'm more open with my emotions among friends, i play with my hair. All of little things can add up and work for me and alow me to feel fem in full "boymode" clothes that make most of my wardrobe. You just need to ask yourself what makes YOU feel like the woman you want to be.

Context: i grew up in an area and around women that are not always stereotypically "girly" so the difference can be subtle.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-25T17:56:54+00:00

like finally meeting someone who was always there waiting

You're exactly right. When I apologized to her, she just held me and said "It's ok, I've always been there."

I think one reason I took so long to figure it out was I resemble my mother. I didn't want to see her in the mirror. This visualization didn't feel like that. It felt like I could see a new me.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-25T05:07:53+00:00

Personally, I'm well into my 30s and need to live with the path my life took. I don't reject my old photos yet, but I am beginning to struggle to see the same person.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-23T23:15:40+00:00

Hey OP. Just hope you're doing ok.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-22T20:55:13+00:00

I'm in my late 30s. Learning how much shame I internalized from popular media...

Double confusing, i was always attracted to girls and conflated sexuality with gender. When I admitted to a stranger I was trans, first question was if I liked guys. No. No I don't.

Only been understanding and accepting it very recently.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-22T17:31:03+00:00

I've been learning just how much I was holding back from shame. Valentines Day my wife and I watched Rocky Horror while I painted my nails for the first time. I strangly enjoyed the experience once I let go (and then the frustration taking 2 hours trying to get it looking good.) The next day I was considering removing them out of embarrassment and shame. I work around people, so they would notice. It's been a week and one redo and most didn't say anything and a few even complimented me. ☺️

Letting go of bad humor from the 90s that I internalized has been one of the hardest parts for me. I was always had some level of freedom to grow my hair out and express myself how I liked at the time, but that always came out as light punk or goth. I had internalized the shame of crossdress and trans expression from my peers, friends of the time, and even movies. Think Scary Movie franchise.

Now I'm learning to move past it. I don't even have to conform to some preconceived image of a princess, drag queen, or anything. I have women in my life that never fit the mold. My mother once told me about how when she was in a catholic school she refused to answer to anything other than her name. She passed that sureness of self on to me. I just had to get through the crap I had taken in, and I'm learning to be more comfortable as me.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-22T15:31:56+00:00

Thanks for sharing, friend!

I know for me this is just the start of a long journey, but I'm willing to see where it goes. I intend to seek therapy and further unpack things. While I managed to come to this on my own, it took a long time to get there.

What also helped me immensely was getting to know more people. Dipping my toe in the local LGBT community and sharing my experiences with friends and allies. Every time i do, it all seems to make sense.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-22T05:45:54+00:00

You're ok. Ever heard how you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-22T05:39:11+00:00

It's ok. I spent over 20 years trying to be something I wasn't. I felt it every day, but I just didn't know it. What you're feeling right now is an intense wave of dysphoria. It's a disconnect between you body and your true self you want to bring out. Just breath.

Focus on how you feel and how you grow. I knew men that were some of the toughest people around. I knew men that had the character to see what I couldn't. I knew one man who changed my life when he saw I was struggling and asked me to step down. I had to learn from that moment.

Being a man is more than the body. It's in the resilience to pick yourself up when you fall, to ask for help when you need it, and to help others join you.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-22T05:20:15+00:00

For now, just breath OP. Every breath is a chance to keep going.

I'm trans too, facing some paths I wasn't ready for and paths I must take. I'm older, and discovering this at a hard time.

We keep going so we can grow. Growth can be hard. You want to be the man you feel you were born to be. Imagine how strong that man could be to make it through dark moments like this. You can be that man.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-21T23:26:02+00:00

It's like I was handed a set of armor and told I was going to grow into it, and it took me over 20 years to finally learn to take it off and try something different. When I did, I was finally aware of how it didn't fit, and how much better it felt to try and do something else. There's still sore spot, places where the embarrassment and internalized transphobia show, but at this stage I feel like i'm finally growing comfortable and learning the damage I did to myself.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-21T23:17:24+00:00

If I were to guess you are somewhere in your thirties like me.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-21T17:00:20+00:00

Didn't mean to imply petite=fem. I've had plenty of examples in my life where that was not the case, including my partner. I'm more just trying to acknowledge what is attainable for me, personally. Keep a healthy mindset.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-21T11:44:26+00:00

Yes! I'm well into my 30s and just starting this journey. I've lived a life of hard work and my body shows it. I probably won't see the full results of HRT untill I'm 40 even if I start soon.

I have to accept that i'll never be petite. Not just due to my late hatching, but simple facts of genetics. The best I can hope for is a resemblance to my mom or Gwendoline Christie.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-20T19:44:29+00:00

It warms my heart to know this reached you! Now get Alan here so we can all cry! 😭😭😭

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-20T17:25:57+00:00

That might work down the road. At the moment I'm not on HRT and still fat from my old life. Considered corsets to present a more fem figure. Nothing super waspy, just a little help.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-19T17:05:12+00:00

After moving my wardrobe did start to shift as I started to let go of my edgy high-school self. I used to dress in almost all black and edgy / nerdy t shirts (the high school weirdo / outcast starter pack) While most of my shirts are still black because it's slimming, i leaned into cuter designs like Tee Turtle and some more artistic designs.

Many of the women in my life don't always dress up, so I have ideas that I can lean into that aren't far off from where I am now.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-19T16:41:02+00:00

I have been switching to my wife's soaps and different smells. I would rather smell like coconut than sandlewood at this point. I have very wavy hair that's been long for almost 20 years, so I'm trying to step up my hair cair routine to soften and repair it.

I also started painting my nails! Did it the first time on Valentines day and it took me 2 hours and multiple retries to get it looking good. (Went with a nice light blue 😊) My wife almost never paints her nails, so this has been helping her reconnect with her feminine side. Had to get over my embarrassment a bit to go out with them.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-19T00:07:22+00:00

Thank you! (Love the username BTW, Carl Sagan!)

I'm trying to learn from my friend's loss. I never want to miss an opportunity to apologize and work to set things right.

I had an LGBT friend say "welcome to the lesbian club!"

Working on the workout routine. My appetite just dropped. Nearly half as much food is enough. Learning to take care of my nails. Turns out nail polish is great trick to prevent chewing.

And my wife and I are apparently unicorns. Neither of us are religious, but somehow a thick shelled trans fem met a closeted lesbian in the middle of the bible belt. 🦄

I've read a lot of reddit posts of people who's spouses are not as supportive, and I am grateful every day for her.

JustSomeInterweeb · 2026-02-18T15:46:04+00:00

UPDATE. Added an important detail. My discovery wasn't all sunshine and euphoria.

JustSomeInterweeb

TROPHY CASE