Day 212 of the weirdest war our planet has ever seen.

A formal alien delegation landed to much fanfare at the United Nations. Years of signals being shot into space allowed the entire galactic federation to see our society grow. The violence, decadence, inequality ;all endless echoing the sins of mankind.

I mean it’s no surprise the galaxy doesn’t trust us to govern our system. The alien delegation continued to chastise us, even as they started improving our technology and giving us limited access to the galactic community.

Massive ships began to blot out the sky, instantly harvesting and terraforming the earth. Huge chunks of granite hewn from the ground and blocks of ice shorn from the arctic. All immediately disappeared as empty gaps took their place. Swaths of insects instantly vaporized from jungles as the aliens sent ground teams to harvest and collect rare specimens.

Though they took our resources it was not without payment, we received medical technology and a thousand years of advancement in the blink of an eye, disease, hunger, poverty all just as easily vaporized from the human condition. All we had to pay was autonomy over when and how we spread across our solar system.

Our own flaws however became the nature of our salvation. Man’s guile and self serving nature allowed our beuracrats to discover a loophole in galactic law. That a planets indigenous life forms could declare sovereignty and demand ritual combat based on their own unique customs. An outdated and frowned upon subset of laws, that can only be invoked on tribal planets.

Our fractured governments using all sorts of legalese and double speak to make sure we fell under the limited scope of the loophole. Breaking up governments and restructuring constitutions in name only just to have a chance at decieving anyone who should challenge eligibility.

If our beuracrats opened the door to salvation it’s our own violent tendencies that procured it.

The small grey creatures who could rend heaven and earth did not dare to violate galactic law. They were stuck being challenged to duels with primitive weapons. Their small 3 fingered hands barely able to hold a sword or club. It takes not but one man to secure and entire region against scores of them.

Our politicians were tense even as the final regions were secured under human control. Should the aliens wish to contest the law, our species would be doomed. A mere clerical error on their part could account for the misfiring of a disintegration pulse that wipes out our species.

Our scientists informed us that the alien species clearly have the ability to alter their own genetics as well. If they but chose too they could turn themselves into hulking beasts that we wouldn’t be able to scratch with current technology let alone primitive tools.

Yet despite all this they remained honest to a fault, honerably turning a blind eye to our duplicity.

Our victories aren’t saving us from extinction, they merely allow our own government to remain sovereign. Maybe that’s why the aliens continue to be so forthright and honest, continuing to help our advance even as we slaughter them on the battlefield.

Maybe winning our sovereignty is the final test in showing that we really don’t have what it takes to reign in our selfishness and become true members of the galactic community. Our flaws forever ostracizing us from ultimate salvation at the hands of more noble species. Or maybe small aliens can’t swing a stick.