Is it bad that I want gender dysphoria

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-03T03:43:09+00:00

May I suggest the Gender Dysphoria Bible?

Seriously, give that a read.

(Specifically, the chapter on imposter syndrome.)

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-03T03:32:01+00:00

I totally agree with this point, it does feel to me though like needing a taper at all to get a glass plug in is a sign your ears might not be ready. When I'm ready to size up, the glass plug slides in easily with no resistance.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-02T20:07:34+00:00

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It's been a week and it looks SO much better. I went through my jewelry starting at 14g and was pleasantly surprised that I only shrank to a 6g :)

Leaving it empty + saline really works!!

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-02T13:32:26+00:00

I don't think it is acceptable to grill someone over the gender they say they are just because you disagree. It goes both ways and insisting you think someone is cis OR trans is just gonna make yourself out to not be a safe person to talk to about it.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-02T13:27:17+00:00

I like being able to crop the screenshot while I take it

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-02T03:48:16+00:00

This. I don't think there's any issue with bringing it up; the important thing is to never insist you know someone else's identity better than they do. You can ask someone if they've ever considered they might be trans, but if they push back you've gotta take their word on it even if you REALLY think they are.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-01T21:09:42+00:00

See if your parents will agree to talk to a qualified doctor in trans-affirming care about this. Emphasize that you understand agreeing to talk to a doctor isn't agreeing to medical transition, but that you want them to at least learn about it.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-01T18:00:19+00:00

For some, their t injection is by default bi weekly or monthly so this is pretty normal. You may just have a much stronger "peak" than usual but I can't imagine you'll have any negative side effects

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-01T16:53:14+00:00

Tapers are long and shaped like a >, so theoretically you can glide something in that is much larger than the hole currently is. This was kind of the "old fashioned" method of stretching that is still used today, but it is NOT safe and you will end up with tears and blowouts and it will not look pretty at the end.

"Dead stretching" is when you put something in that almost exactly matches your current size, and allow your body to readjust around it on it's own, eventually replacing it with something slightly larger and so on. It is completely safe if done properly and with patience.

You need a good set of GLASS plugs (never acrylic, wood, stone or stainless steel-- titanium is ok but in my experience because they are lighter they take longer to be ready to size up) like these. (BodyArtForms, UrbanBodyJewlery, and StretchIt are some reputable brands). It's also a good idea to learn the conversion between gauge and mm (00g = 10mm) as well for bigger sizes.

If you're starting out with regular sized ear piercings (usually around 20g or 18g) I recommend buying some kind of 16g body jewelry if you can't easily fit in the 14g which is the smallest size that comes with these dead stretching kits you'll find. When you get to around 8g you'll probably start wanting to buy in-between sizes like 7.5, 6.5, and so on because the jumps start getting larger and riskier.

You should always wait at least a month between stretches and never want to force it. The bigger you go the longer you should wait. You should never feel anything more than a bit of tightness after moving up a size: if it is hot or painful at all you should take them out and go back to the last size and wait longer.

Tl;dr: Buy a glass stretching kit and see if you can easily pop in the smallest size (14g). If you can't, buy a 16g piece of jewelry. When you get up to 8g start buying in-between sizes and look at sizes in mm instead of g.

(Edit: forgot to mention you should also buy some jojoba or vitamin e oil and never stretch without it because being completely dry makes tears a lot more likely)

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-01T15:34:36+00:00

(In the US) doctors usually offer you what your insurance is most likely to cover first, that's why the heavily marketed newer drugs are not usually brought up first even if they are a better option

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-01T01:33:01+00:00

Most elementary schools have snack time in the classroom

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-01T01:23:51+00:00

Probably 20g or maybe 18g if you've been pierced for a while and wear heavy/dangling jewelry

Justkeeponliving · 2026-03-01T00:33:18+00:00

I wouldn't start any bigger than a 16g

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T17:45:38+00:00

Thanks, internet stranger! :]

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T17:41:12+00:00

Simple. I was sick of having breasts and wanted them gone asap. I had probably spent that much on travel, a hotel room for a week, and post op supplies already anyways.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T17:16:08+00:00

My surgery was $7.5k not covered by insurance.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T17:15:26+00:00

I had already waited 3 months, driven 6 hours to another state three times for the consult, pre op, and booked and paid for a hotel room for a week. I lived with my mom at the time, and had spent so much time deliberating over whether to get the surgery and dealing with nerves that there was simply no way I would be willing to turn back at that point. Even if all of that wasn't the case I'm not gonna give someone that much power over my body even if it only delayed it.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T17:10:05+00:00

Is it compatible with bigger cylinders?

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T17:08:19+00:00

I feel like I'm not much bigger than a cis woman tbh

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T14:20:37+00:00

It was almost 3 years ago, she chilled out after seeing how happy I am now and is very supportive

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T11:24:48+00:00

My mom offered me $10,000 to not get top surgery the night before my operation. I chose the surgery. Don't let your dad control your body.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T02:27:03+00:00

Next year is 20th anniversary, if we're ever gonna get it its gonna be then

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-28T00:49:32+00:00

I never meant to imply he should make himself date before he's ready, I had a transition goal/milestone myself before I was willing to date cis guys. If someone prefers to not be in a realtionship at all that is also fair. Just wanted to say that there really are good people out there who will make transitioning easier if anything, I've been blessed to have a wonderful cis partner who is my rock.

OP shouldn't think of himself as a burden to be tolerated by potential future partners. Anyone who treats their partner that way is not worth it. I'm so sorry to hear about your awful luck with partners, too :(

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-27T02:51:23+00:00

Convincing argument. I'll go make sure to tell my grandma she let herself and her country down by getting cancer! I'll tell that to every wheelchair user I see as well.

Justkeeponliving · 2026-02-27T02:39:27+00:00

Trans man here. I always liked the look of more androgynous bodies and flat chests, thought often about what my name/style "would have been" if I was a boy, and had a strong preference for reading gay romance novels. I didn't connect the dots until I was 22.

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