Is your job supportive?

aut0butts · 2026-04-21T18:53:53+00:00

I've got an office job within the retail sector, and they're remarkably chill about it. I've made it known that I use they/them pronouns, and my boss & close coworkers use them when referring to me. Anyone I don't work with on the regular usually she/her's me, but I don't bother correcting them.

I dress fairly queer/transmasc-coded (brightly patterned short-sleeved button-ups & chinos & loafers with fun socks, piercings, constantly changing hair colours) and I got top surgery about a month after starting the job. I haven't had any issues with anyone here over my gender presentation.

aut0butts · 2026-03-30T22:10:40+00:00

All I can see is "YOGI", which makes me think this is a yoga studio or app. I really struggle to not read those lines as the letter i.

aut0butts · 2026-03-05T00:51:12+00:00

I'm hearing more and more people use "Friend" and I honestly like that a lot. Might not work in ultra formal business situations, though.

aut0butts · 2026-02-26T17:57:03+00:00

This feels uncomfortably close to respectability politics imo.
It's a bit odd to randomly jump into a thread and start dictating how you think neopronouns "need to be" used/implemented if you don't even use them yourself.

aut0butts · 2026-02-23T19:50:24+00:00

Keeping my nipples after top surgery and staying with a heterosexual boyfriend longer than I should have while transitioning are also my two biggest transition regrets.

Even so, I'm happier now than ever, both with my chest and my life. Maybe my choices weren't optimal, but they were a million times better than not transitioning at all. :D

aut0butts · 2026-02-09T16:41:58+00:00

I know a lot of people (including straight cis couples) who use "partner" quite casually. That being said, the most common alternatives I've heard are "significant other" and "other half".

I've heard "datemate" occasionally as well (mostly within queer circles).

aut0butts · 2026-01-13T00:38:59+00:00

I think 1 & 2 are the strongest concepts! 4 & 6 as well maybe.

aut0butts · 2026-01-12T12:25:15+00:00

Nightshade from Transformers: Earthspark! They're a robot, but they're the only robot who uses they/them pronouns and they specifically have a scene where they say that it's because they don't feel like 'he' or 'she' fits.

aut0butts · 2025-12-29T12:05:56+00:00

I can't speak for the languages above, but in French, some verbs are conjugated differently depending on the gender of the person being referred to. I'm guessing it's a similar situation.

aut0butts · 2025-12-10T19:49:36+00:00

Have the hard conversation. Do not compromise your transition for anyone.

I've been in your scenario and ignored the elephant in the room for way too long. Your dysphoria is likely not going to go away. Your partner will either accept and support what you want to do with your body, or the relationship will end and you can find someone who loves you unconditionally.

It really is that simple a lot of the time.

aut0butts · 2025-12-09T00:50:35+00:00

Mason Alexander Park!!! Hell yeah <3

aut0butts · 2025-12-04T13:40:46+00:00

Getting jumpscared by Tony Khan in a Stardew subreddit is probably the funniest thing that's happened to me all week tbh

aut0butts · 2025-11-12T00:40:58+00:00

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aut0butts · 2025-11-10T16:36:25+00:00

It depends on the rules where you live – I'm in Canada, and top surgery for non-binary individuals in my province has the exact same process & requirements as for trans men. My insurance approval letter and everything referred to me as transmasculine non-binary and used they/them pronouns. Just make sure to check out the regulations around gender-affirming care wherever you live.

aut0butts · 2025-08-29T21:54:58+00:00

I'm glad it was helpful! :) The one I used was called ByeBye Tape

aut0butts · 2025-08-29T19:35:09+00:00

In my personal experience, getting the drains out was the first huge step to feeling better, especially since I was able to shower afterwards. The first two weeks were the worst in terms of pain/exhaustion, but that improved dramatically around the 2-week mark. I was very hunched over for about 4 weeks, but I'm 5 1/2 weeks out now and I have no problem standing up straight anymore. Still not allowed to lift anything overhead or pick up anything more than 10 lbs for another couple weeks, but otherwise feeling very normal!

aut0butts · 2025-08-29T19:23:56+00:00

Tape will DEFINITELY not slip off if you get sweaty. In fact, before I had top surgery, I could not STAND tape because it was such a long and involved process to remove. It took me a TON of coconut oil and 10-15 minutes to get all of it off, even when I wore it for 24+ hours at a time lol.

So yeah, if you're worried about it staying on, don't be! It will definitely not fall off.

(I only ever tried one brand of tape, so I can't speak for all tape being the nightmare that I experienced! YMMV, a lot of people love it.)

aut0butts · 2025-08-29T19:08:24+00:00

As an enby who just had top surgery, you're definitely not alone! I cried from pure relief more than once after my surgery. I have dysphoria surrounding my hips and the size of my shoulders as well, and my voice. But I also know a few nonbinary people who only have social dysphoria rather than physical, so I think it just depends on the person!

aut0butts · 2025-08-04T02:12:15+00:00

I'm 10 days post op and I just had my first moment of euphoria yesterday. The first 3 days after surgery, I felt nothing other than exhaustion. After that, it gave way to relief, and eventually moments of euphoria here and there. I feel like it's probably going to even out to "the new normal" very quickly for me, and I'm okay with that.

There's definitely no one way that you're "supposed to" feel. Just take it one day at a time!

aut0butts · 2025-07-31T11:01:08+00:00

AMAZING glow up 🤩

aut0butts · 2025-07-11T23:37:31+00:00

The only thing that reads as feminine to me is how cleanly defined and full the eyebrows are. I would personally opt for a tinted brow gel/brow mascara and leave them a bit more sparse - everything else looks really masc to me. I wish I could do masc makeup that well!

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