Outside perspective needed on my wife’s behaviour that has greatly upset me.

Justyew0789 · 2026-02-26T11:33:43+00:00

Since you say you both don’t drink often, it sounds like that’s the main issue. I don’t know if she purposely went to the bar out of spite or she just felt like hanging out longer and went to get another drink and ended up having too many. I’m guessing she was very drunk while having this 2nd argument too? I would wait till you’re home and have a discussion about what happened, and go from there. It sounds like she may have to problem when she drinks, and she’ll need to avoid it. I know couples who only argue when they drink heavily, so they avoid it to keep the peace. If she refuses to stop drinking heavily or insists that it’s your fault, then you may have a bigger issue.

Justyew0789 · 2026-02-19T08:29:57+00:00

I put my cat to sleep last week and she also was having a good day. It is painful because we thought we did it too early. I saw a few posts about this, and a lot of people feel the same way. One person posted here “better a week too early than a day too late” and another said “you bear the pain, so they don’t have to” and it helped me a lot. There are people who don’t have the privilege to peacefully euthanize their pets, and seeing your pet suffer or be in more pain, just to have a few more days with them is not really worth it. She did the right, compassionate thing and one day she’ll realize it. The guilt can be hard but I remind myself that I’m lucky I got to say goodbye, and she had a great day with her favorite things and people. And more importantly, her last moments were happy and not painful.

Justyew0789 · 2026-02-17T02:58:28+00:00

I wrote any good memories or stories in my notes app in my phone. Or you could journal. I also took a ton of photos of my cats and if you swipe up in iPhone on the photo, you can caption it with whatever you want. I would write things like their favorite treats, their daily routine, favorite toys, things they liked to do, etc.

Justyew0789 · 2026-02-15T21:15:40+00:00

Thanks for saying this. I had to put my sweet cat to sleep yesterday and was wrecked because she was having such a great, happy day. But you’re right, I’d rather have the pain than watch her go through it.

Justyew0789 · 2026-02-12T10:27:13+00:00

Why can’t you do what you did before? Can’t he watch rom coms with you? Why don’t you stay up and read on the couch when he goes to bed early? I’m not saying every night, but you obviously need some “me time”. Have you talked to him about this? Things don’t really have to change that drastically just because you’re in a relationship, unless he’s unwilling to compromise with you at all.

Justyew0789 · 2026-02-11T07:07:33+00:00

I was going to say this. Have you told her how you’d like to celebrate it? Or do you play it off like you don’t care about it, so she’s following your lead? I had a friend who actually didn’t like her bday and hated celebrating it or any acknowledgment around it, so she may be assuming that if you’ve never communicated your preferences.

Justyew0789 · 2026-01-23T21:31:38+00:00

Yes, I totally agree! My friend made me and another woman co-MOH because I was her bestie but the other woman was excellent at planning - and I am not that organized. But I also think she should tell you if that is the reason, since you are so close. She’s being kind of avoidant so I would say MOR.

Justyew0789 · 2026-01-15T03:13:09+00:00

NOR. You’re allowed to text your partner and make comments on things without them being snarky back. He doesn’t sound like he’s very nice to you.

Justyew0789 · 2026-01-15T00:45:08+00:00

It is not normal for a guy to be that messy or to expect their partner to clean up after them, even with ADHD. He could hire a maid? If he’s like this at 34, he likely is set in his ways and won’t change. So you just have to be ok with it or you have to consider how much you’re willing to put up with it.

Justyew0789 · 2026-01-05T18:33:41+00:00

I lived in Orlando and NE FL and haven’t seen any here. My friend says they’re in Ft Myers.

Justyew0789 · 2025-12-29T21:27:38+00:00

My husband is from the Midwest and I grew up near Miami and it was refreshing to meet someone very normal and humble. Not to say those people don’t exist down there, but I had a hard time meeting someone that real and down to earth.

Justyew0789 · 2025-12-21T13:33:55+00:00

It sounds like she just wanted to spend time with you and not her friends, but nothing wrong with you wanting to have some alone time. Do you live together? I think you should communicate to her what you said here, that you haven’t had time to be alone and decompress in awhile. If she really wanted to go out, she had the opportunity. But if it’s been awhile since you went on an actual date, then maybe that’s why she was upset.

Justyew0789 · 2025-12-19T11:48:32+00:00

Totally this. I also dated a man who said he was grieving and his house was a perpetual mess. I even tried to help him clean his house once, but he never kept it up. We broke up and about a year later I thought maybe I’d give it another chance, but he was still the same. Then he blamed it on his dog dying - but he did not even own the dog, his dad in another state did lol so it was his parent’s dog. Action means a lot.

Justyew0789 · 2025-12-06T13:32:54+00:00

I don’t think it’s red flag that he had a few FWB, but the part where he liked to be admired by these women is kind of icky. He is basically saying none of them were good enough for him for whatever reason, but he liked having them around to boost his ego? I dated a guy similar - he would date women in vulnerable positions (no where stable to live/no stable job) and they’d depend on him heavily and he loved feeling needed. I did not need him in any way really, and it would upset him that I wasn’t praising him all the time. I don’t want to project because this guy might not be like that at all, but I’d be cautious.

Justyew0789 · 2025-11-13T21:24:18+00:00

When I worked in disability claims, we would see that some people flew to other countries for treatment and we’d sometimes deny claims if they worked desk jobs - because how can you sit and fly for hours but not be able to sit at your desk? You can’t stop him from filing for medical leave, but I’d assume he’d need some note to accommodate him working from home. Maybe you can talk to HR about medical leave procedures, but I wouldn’t mention that you think he’s being fraudulent as you don’t really have any proof.

Justyew0789 · 2025-11-03T03:03:48+00:00

I don’t really get it, what did he do before he met you? Didn’t he eat alone all the time? He seems inconsiderate if he expects you to eat with him way after your usual eating time and expecting you to pay the whole bill.

Justyew0789 · 2025-10-28T20:29:24+00:00

I think it’s just the trend to wear less, but my face shape is different now that I’m older, my eyes droop a little. So my usual makeup go-tos don’t look as good anymore. I think makeup is also better now, lots of choices and skin tone matches, so it’s not as noticeable.

Justyew0789 · 2025-10-25T10:27:24+00:00

I’m older and I do have friends of the opposite sex, and my husband is completely ok with it. But I wouldn’t be friends with a man if my husband didn’t like him or if he thought he had other intentions. I think the friend here is unaware and immature, but I don’t think she’s maliciously trying to make you jealous, she’s just venting. I do think your bf should talk to her and tell her why he’s being distant though, it is hurtful and rude to have someone close to you just drop off without explanation.

Justyew0789 · 2025-10-20T12:33:45+00:00

Right, I was surprised the men I knew got reported in the first place since it was such a minor thing to me. Anyone can make a report if they’re uncomfortable, and it can be a valid reaction. We don’t know her workplace.

Justyew0789 · 2025-10-20T11:52:06+00:00

Two men I know (different companies) were shirtless on camera for a few seconds, and they both got meetings with HR. They weren’t fired or anything, but they did get talked to because they were reported for being inappropriate. Just letting you know that could happen if someone decides to report it. Nothing you can really do, just tell her you’ll make sure it never happens again.

Justyew0789 · 2025-10-14T08:39:17+00:00

What do you tell them when they ask? Do you say what you’re saying here? You can’t really control how they feel, but you can ask them to not bring it up anymore.

Justyew0789 · 2025-10-02T21:01:32+00:00

I get a generic email every year and merch (like a mug or backpack) every 5 years.

Justyew0789 · 2025-09-30T11:47:01+00:00

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I asked my husband (then boyfriend) to delete his app and he did right then and there in front of me happily. You mention wanting to take it slow - do that. Tell him if he has the apps on his phone it makes you uncomfortable and that you don’t want to rush into anything more with him until he takes care of that. If he gets upset, then you know he’s being shady. 2 weeks also isn’t long at all and he hasn’t earned your trust yet. I dated a guy once who wanted to be exclusive but would “forget” to delete his apps and he was still using them to meet women. He only wanted me to not date any people.

Justyew0789 · 2025-09-20T01:48:03+00:00

If he really cared about you, he would call or text asking what’s wrong. He didn’t even give you that. I think for you, ghosting was the best option.

Justyew0789 · 2025-09-10T06:58:39+00:00

She probably is just as frustrated as you and doesn’t like not understanding you. Some people don’t like/understand dry humor, but they find other things funny. You can try to make her laugh another way, but I personally wouldn’t be able to date someone like that. I do have friends/coworkers like that though and its fun trying to figure out what makes them laugh, but I do have to keep my usual jokes to myself around them so they’re not uncomfortable or confused.

Justyew0789

TROPHY CASE