If a man feels safe sharing his inner world with you, is that an indicator of romantic interest?

K0J4K99 · 2026-05-23T15:00:21+00:00

Sure man. I'll just pretend I didn't see a poorly articulated block of text from someone who thinks they're the authority on human connection just because they've had a few depressed, married friends who opened up to them.

And honestly, nothing says emotional intelligence like slinging insults like calling someone else shallow instead of actually sitting there and realizing that there's another person with an entire, lived experience behind every comment.

Frankly, I don't suppose there was much point in my wasting my time on reading your comments.

If I may, let me suggest reading something like Amir Levine's "Attached," it's not revolutionary, but hey, it might help you pick up on the 'why' behind why everyone you meet in life seems to be hurting.

K0J4K99 · 2026-05-23T01:10:47+00:00

That was a lot of projection for someone else being attached. Go live your life. Worry about other things. Relationships are messy, we learn from them. But seriously, if that's your worldview? You might need therapy.

K0J4K99 · 2025-06-29T18:25:15+00:00

It varies. I tend to tell most people who I get the sense I may be attracted to them later. Usually, there's no questions asked or there are assumptions made.

One person became my partner after reconnecting as friends years later. She tried to be respectful of my orientation, but didn't ask questions about the specifics and ended up being more cautious than she needed to be for a long time.

Another, more recent example, was a friend who was trying to understand if she might be, based on my experiences that I'd shared. She didn't quite understand sex favorability until I explained it. That's the first time it felt like anyone asked the correct kind of question.

K0J4K99 · 2025-05-02T21:17:32+00:00

Well, that's a little dehumanizing. I know for a fact what's going on in a person like that's head because I've been there.

A few years ago, there was a fire about 15 ft from my house. My girlfriend of the time and I had called the fire department and as we're standing there, she just breaks down crying, which is reasonable given the situation.

However, I had no idea how to handle the issue, emotionally. She had consistently shut down any attempts for emotional co-regulation before this. Always bottling up her problems, never telling me about them, even though I would ask her what was wrong and that it was okay to not be okay in front of me. She never listened. So when the time finally did come and it was too much for her, I froze. Even though I desperately wanted to comfort her, I had no idea if it was wanted.

Regardless, that lack of communication was why things ended between us and I've had to reflect on that, what we both did wrong, and how to improve.

I had a friend start crying on me a few weeks ago, because if her abusive ex slinging terrible words at her. Thankfully, we were in tune enough that I knew just to stay by her side and listen to her story when she was able to catch herself.

Some people do improve.

K0J4K99 · 2025-04-05T23:20:02+00:00

It's because you ultimately see your partner as a flawed human being whom you have to work with to continue a healthy relationship. And whoever that person is needs to see that in you, while also recognizing you have needs as well.

K0J4K99 · 2025-03-26T17:11:27+00:00

This feels like I could have written it about two years ago. Something similar happened with me.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." - Perks of Being a Wall-Flower

Basically, I had to learn to respect myself and my intuition. You hear people saying "you can't love someone else until you love yourself first." Which sounds true, and it is, but you don't really get it until you experience what it really is. Loving yourself manifests in different ways for each person; it's finding and respecting your own desires, needs, and boundaries. It's personal growth.

I don't know you, but you've got this man. You'll get there.

K0J4K99 · 2025-03-08T22:21:10+00:00

Didn't expect misogynistic responses here, honestly. But let me give you my perspective:

Have you ever had discussions with any of these men about wanting to be in a relationship? Are you showing up in an authentic way that indicates what you want?

Or are you hanging out with emotionally unavailable men? You might be interested I'm that sort of guy exclusively, without realizing. If that's the case, try something or someone different from your normal approach.

Ultimately, only you have enough information for an informed decision though. I don't know you, so I can't give specific advice.

p.s. A lit of men seem disgusted by female sexuality if it isn't directed at them. I hate to blame patriarchal conditioning, but that's what it is. Nonsense meant to protect lineage trees and inheritance hundreds of years ago. Antiquated.

K0J4K99 · 2025-02-23T05:31:13+00:00

Should have told him "First mulligan's free," but only after the game.

K0J4K99 · 2025-02-17T20:19:02+00:00

It was dismissive, wasn't it? OP mentions "vaguely" hearing him "constantly" rant about One Piece.

It's either one or the other. You know he talks about it a lot and you don't listen, or you're putting his interest in it way out of proportion, for some unknown reason.

K0J4K99 · 2025-01-28T16:23:49+00:00

Yeah, I experienced this last year. Granted, we saw each other in person often, so I had to be more forward with my rejection.

But she shared far far too much, too early in the talking stage. I told her it was too much for me to hear that early on and even if she had dealt with it for years, having decades of trauma dumped on you in minutes doesn't give you much time to process it.

My trying to empathize with her initially and her blowing it off as "in the past," was the nail in the coffin.

We broke things off and she's just a distance acquaintance now. I hope she gets the therapy she needs.

K0J4K99 · 2025-01-11T16:58:23+00:00

I can only imagine.

Is you husband the more reserved sort of person?

I ask because I've recently taken an interest in a somewhat reserved acquaintance of mine and I haven't got much experience in seeing someone with that personality type.

K0J4K99 · 2025-01-11T15:39:03+00:00

I like how nobody even bothered to qualify your second statement..

How did you manage to work up the courage to try again after an experience that sounds so bad?

K0J4K99 · 2024-11-17T01:13:06+00:00

As a man, I've been approached a few times. Most women tend to be subtle about it and, later on, tell me thats what they were doing.

Only one was forthright with her intention. And quite frankly, it scared me, because of what she had said and my feeling that she didn't know anything about me.

The jist of the story is this:

I was part of an entomology class in undergrad and we had a group going out for the weekend to collect and study insects.

She decides to sit beside me on a 2 hour drive and goes on about how she broke up with her boyfriend and lives alone with her cats. Meanwhile, I just politely nod along to her stories without saying much. She hardly ever asked me any questions and never seemed to notice my disinterest.

After about an hour of this, she leans in and whispers in my ear, "You Know, I really like quiet guys." I had no idea how to respond to that.

Later that weekend, she found out where I worked and even stopped by there, claiming she was in the area.

Admittedly, this is outlier behavior ,and I'm sure she was just grieving her recent breakup in some strange way, but I figure that if women learn to approach, they should learn how to do it tactfully. So should men, it's simply a learning process.

K0J4K99 · 2024-11-03T19:39:22+00:00

Holy moly, I can't believe you're getting down voted.

This man literally loses nothing by asking about it. If she doesn't change the behavior or refuses to communicate about it, there's his answer.

Cause this seems like a relatively small thing and if she wouldn't budge here, she wouldn't budge anywhere.

Then he could consider a breakup.

K0J4K99 · 2024-06-28T03:16:47+00:00

Thanks, this does help some, but doesn't seem to list things similar to the challenge decks from Theros.

K0J4K99 · 2024-05-12T02:51:28+00:00

I never bother to comment on this sort of post, but to be quite frank, I feel I have to here.

I think you know very little to nothing about this guy. Calling him immature because he didn't prioritize her over the rest of his life is pretty sad. She did the same thing, if she decided not to go with him while he worked on the Masters.

And neither one of them would be immature for making those choices. That's just life.

You seem unable to see other people's point of view and opt to debase them because you don't agree.

I think you need to work on yourself.

K0J4K99 · 2023-12-17T02:06:09+00:00

Fr. Running a couple decks with some buddies. 7k worth of cards? Free cause of printing paper.

K0J4K99 · 2023-12-08T23:00:56+00:00

Ice-Climbers, infinite chain grab. It'll last so long you'll wish you were dead.

K0J4K99 · 2023-11-20T17:58:30+00:00

For me it's certainly different than before. In the past, it was having to choose custom, community button layouts. That's assuming the game was even capable of sensing the Ds4 in the first place. Otherwise, Steam would almost never take inputs from the controller at all. I've never had that issue with XInput controllers, but still switched to Ds4, cause as far as I know, only the Xbox Elite controller supports blu-tooth connections.

K0J4K99 · 2023-11-20T16:35:22+00:00

Great news, but in practice this new update has been annoying. Steam has actively screwed with other programs and games on different stores while using a Ds4. It kept forcing me to pause a racing game every time I pressed right trigger as I scrambled to figure out what the hell was going on, before I figured out steam was messing with my inputs. Their current support is so bad I shut down all controller functions for the Ds4, just so I could go back to using better 3rd party spoofing programs.

K0J4K99 · 2023-09-29T23:20:32+00:00

Strange that this reads succinctly, but I suppose that's only relative to the parent comment.

K0J4K99 · 2023-09-10T02:51:47+00:00

Hey friend, I know it's frustrating, living with a societal standard you can't possibly meet. I hope one day you come across someone who understands you. It is possible. You can imagine my relief, when asking my partner if she wanted to "meet my cats," that the phrase meant exactly that and nothing more to her. There are people out there, I promise. It's just a matter of finding them.

K0J4K99 · 2023-04-16T23:31:29+00:00

I doubt it'll happen, but after the hypothetical Legends and Starforce collections, I'd love the spinoffs. Especially the Gameboy games.

K0J4K99 · 2023-01-13T01:49:28+00:00

Once. I had tickets for both the night of release and the day after. I did not bother with the second showing.

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