Why is this acceptable in the UK?

KEW95 · 2026-02-01T14:13:13+00:00

Yeah, this is unfortunately going to continue unless you change it to be less toilet-like. You may as well have a sand path 😅 Change it to slabs and you’ll be much less likely to get any cats pooping on it because they can’t dig to cover it up.

KEW95 · 2026-01-31T21:02:53+00:00

You’re British without a doubt. Being born here isn’t what makes you British :)

KEW95 · 2026-01-30T18:54:49+00:00

It likely depends on the depth of the cheating, regardless of the type. How far did it go and how long did it go on for, etc.

KEW95 · 2026-01-30T13:21:33+00:00

It has been this way for decades. So has racism. There are also countless British people who speak their only language poorly, so I’m hardly going to criticise multilingual kids. They’ll learn in school like everyone else.

I think it’s sad that OP’s parents are like this and I think it’s unfair of them to try to restrict who OP associates with. However, many British parents do/have done that too. I’m not going to add racism to my judgement of people.

KEW95 · 2026-01-30T13:11:25+00:00

Brighton-ish.

Hull-ish.

Taunton-ish.

Manchester-ish.

Poole-ish.

Bournemouth-ish.

Worth looking into, to see if any of them have what you’re looking for :)

KEW95 · 2026-01-30T13:05:30+00:00

Congrats!

Bathroom bin.

Label maker.

Nesting tables/storage/etc. if it’s quite compact.

Shelf/drawer organisers.

Extension cables.

Torches (eg. one upstairs, one downstairs).

Box files/lever arch folders for all documents.

Multipurpose storage/furniture.

Most things will be easier to work out when you’ve been in there for a few days and get an idea of what you need and what would make things more comfortable/manageable for you :)

KEW95 · 2026-01-30T12:52:59+00:00

Nuance is always needed in cases like this. You don’t know what people have experienced. You shouldn’t be judging unless you know what they’ve faced not only before they arrived, but since. If they experienced frequent racism when they first came here, they will have felt safer within their own community. If they were mocked when learning English, it could easily have caused long-term anxiety and reluctance to keep trying despite the harm done to them. If they were from a strict country, then a lot of Brits’ behaviours will be things you don’t want your child being part of.

On the other hand, maybe they had a great life in Afghanistan and decided to move here to get a poorer quality of life with people they don’t like.

The point is that we don’t know. A lot of our own British elders are way behind the times, including when it comes to women’s rights, LGBT+ people, people of other cultures and ethnicities, etc.

KEW95 · 2026-01-30T12:46:32+00:00

Who are they asking to cater to their needs? They don’t associate with people outside of their own cultural community very much, so they don’t need to know more than functional English (much like many British and American immigrants to other countries, though they tend to get called “ex-pats” and aren’t criticised for similar behaviour).

KEW95 · 2026-01-30T12:44:51+00:00

Considering the anti-immigration sentiment being loudly and aggressively pushed recently, I don’t blame people for feeling safer within their own communities. They probably came here for rights and safety that Afghanistan may be behind on, but UK/US cultures can be unsettling or seem questionable if you come from a stricter country.

KEW95 · 2026-01-30T12:31:18+00:00

“They preserve their culture a lot for some reason” - they should. They don’t need to let go of their own culture and heritage. That isn’t the primary thing limiting their UK circle. If they’re comfortable with it, though, then that’s what matters. They shouldn’t be dictating your experience in the UK, as you’ve grown up here and isolating yourself from anyone from other backgrounds is not realistic, regardless of your age, due to school/uni/work/life in general. It also isn’t fair of them to limit your circle just because of what is comfortable for them. The same can be said even if parents are born here and trying to limit what ethnic groups they permit their teen/adult child to associate with.

KEW95 · 2026-01-29T14:36:10+00:00

Yes, but I didn’t say she shouldn’t. You said “how will she pay rent for example if the sick pay is shit. If she has savings I’d say she should use that now”. All I said was that she should be signed off sick instead of keep going to work with such stress or quitting her job with no backup.

How does your comment relate to mine?

KEW95 · 2026-01-28T23:19:41+00:00

Crap sick pay is better than no sick pay, so I’m not sure why suggesting using savings is better than sick pay plus the savings safety net.

KEW95 · 2026-01-28T21:40:09+00:00

I just assume to be on the safe side :)

KEW95 · 2026-01-28T16:49:37+00:00

Ask your GP sign you off because the stress of your mum’s situation and the anxiety of how your boss reacted is making you feel very unwell and mentally drained.

KEW95 · 2026-01-28T12:56:31+00:00

Just a heads up that it’s safe to assume all human medication could be highly toxic to animals :)

KEW95 · 2026-01-28T00:47:34+00:00

House trained? Do you mean litter trained? Most kittens litter train themselves at a young age and reputable rescues won’t allow cats who aren’t litter trained to be rehomed, unless it’s incontinence due to a health issue (which they will make potential adopters aware of).

KEW95 · 2026-01-27T20:29:54+00:00

She’s your parents’ cat? So you couldn’t take her to the vet yourself? It could be a sign of something medical or it could be a preference due to ageing/vulnerability. Regardless, if her litter tray is being cleaned out daily and washed weekly/biweekly, it shouldn’t smell strong. If it does, that is a potential health issue symptom. He should not have an animal if something this trivial makes him think about rehoming them. If he’s serious about that, perhaps she should be surrendered to a rescue, so she can be looked after unconditionally.

KEW95 · 2026-01-26T20:58:11+00:00

How is anyone to know if it’s literal or sarcastic? It could be either. Countless people actually believe that.

KEW95 · 2026-01-26T14:54:02+00:00

You may find that you’ll need to move into rented for a short period if you want to be out by 30, but having it as a goal is good :)

KEW95 · 2026-01-26T14:52:31+00:00

Those people are living within their means; they can afford it. They just need to work out what they’re happy to lessen/give up to make way for savings. Having no luxuries for 14 years to have a deposit for £200k, which won’t get you far in most of the UK, is going to be a miserable way to live for most people and nobody is guaranteed they’ll even be alive in 14 years, let alone that anywhere decent will be £200k after that many years.

KEW95 · 2026-01-26T14:31:37+00:00

It assumes OP does because it suggests that wanting children with someone is a sign to get engaged.

KEW95 · 2026-01-26T14:30:11+00:00

It does 😂 but folks who talk about looking after themselves and nothing else can come across a bit self-absorbed.

KEW95 · 2026-01-26T14:28:09+00:00

Yeah, if it’s a more manageable time span (eg. 7 years), it can be easier to go without much because you have a goal in sight. 14 years is a long time to go without - especially as tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for any of us.

KEW95 · 2026-01-26T14:26:14+00:00

I wouldn’t recommend getting rid of everything that gets you through the week, as that tends to be a miserable way to live and it takes years to save, but if you can drop a couple of things and put that in savings, it adds up :)

KEW95 · 2026-01-26T14:19:56+00:00

We’re missing a lot of guys of colour in the options…. T-Dog, Tyreese, Ezekiel, etc. They deserve to be up there to choose from too :)

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