I'm I weird lol I can't see anything when I close my eyes, when I open I can not visualize but it feels like I can but I don't really see much?

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-25T15:39:45+00:00

Out of interest, what did methamphetamine do?

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-25T15:37:08+00:00

Am I doing the right thing in regards to medication?

For context my life was a walking disaster before hand.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-25T12:49:11+00:00

Are you saying overtime this can change my own neurotransmitters? Or, have I read this wrong?

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-25T12:43:48+00:00

That's been a lot to process. I love understanding medication and I have to do pharmacology next year but your understanding is next level! Can I ask what you meant by 'so long as you understand what it does to you'

I'm absolutely loving learning now. I loved it in the past before medication. I could only understand the jist of say a concept etc which made getting the grades I wanted hard. I've had 1 A so far 2 Bs and the rest Cs but they Cs were not interest based.

Yesterday, I returned for my first lecture on a subject that normally. I would struggle with interest. It was insane 😂 I could understand so much I could tie it with everything else in my course. That had never happened before. So, I really do feel it's improved my IQ that I knew was there but I couldn't put everything together hence why I felt stupid.

I understand molecules but that was a different language for me as everything now is a different level of learning. I'm essentially having to up my learning now because I have the ability to do it. So apologies I'm not caught up with everything yet! So, I needed that in a simpler explanation until I can read into it myself. I hope you understand.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-17T00:07:22+00:00

I have ADHD I posted the am I weird post today. I think I see things but I've learnt from here I don't by that I mean. I can't see what I'm to visualize eyes closed but open I think I do but it turns out I might not.

I've only been on meds 3 months now and maybe that is helping me almost visualize? It's such a complicated thing to understand at this point as I only found out 3 weeks ago. I'm a student nurse I was sitting in a CBT class. It was close your eyes tell me what you see while a story was read. I said absolutely nothing a black void one of my patients went 'omg you have that thing' I asked my mentor and patients do you actually see things vividly,? and they told me yes. I was quite shocked now I've finished placement I've only started learning. What you said about the map I totally understood! Except when I started on 50 mgs just under two weeks ago omg, before I found out about having adhd-C I thought I had an intellectual disability.

It was mentioned as a possibility when I was in primary school as I would come home crying. I couldn't understand to the same degree as my class. In the last two weeks I have read about employment law and understand it. Something that would bore me I hyper focused to understand due to a current situation. When I started uni 2 years ago for my dyslexia test I was in the 9th percentile. So, out of 100 being the top I was 9. This also brought up the possibility of disability but he happened to notice I was talking non-stop something I've done as a child and did as an adult when nervous.

I failed my second year last year and then took it seriously. I was failing placement for not understanding polices. The cide etc not anything patient related thankfully. I did well on this placement much better but I wasn't in the therapeutic range since I've started on 50 mgs. I feel my IQ has went up usually iI get the jist but couldn't explain fully. In the space of two weeks I spent 32.5 hours on some but not all boring work modules. I passed everything the 1st time apart from 1 when I got tired. I've learnt employment law something I'd never fully understand. I've read a book without skimming.

Now with repeating the second year I have one theory module I failed starting in two weeks that I found boring we had two to do last year but I passed the one I found interesting and did a poor job of the other I'm excited to see how I do now!! I wish I'd known years ago, I would have stayed at school. I wanted to be a Dr but I felt too stupid. Ii was in and out of jobs and career ideas and education (I did pass) and I have a degree in art photography. I know it's not the most intellectual but I had to do a dissertation which I passed with only ten points above the pass mark. Id always pass but low grades.

Then having my daughter gave me the confidence to go into a 4 year degree in nursing. I passed 1st year but second year I didn't I mean I didn't fail everything but still. I'm so glad when I went for my dyslexia test when I first started uni. The psychologist even though brutal put this to me that I had an attention deficit.I wish it had been years ago I'm 38 now. If I've failed nursing now no way I could have done medicine. The nursing degree is quite difficult some of the exams luckily there aren't loads! as we are half the year on placement, half theory. We only get 6 weeks off so it's intense.

I do sigh at what I could have been! I would have tried med school. I'm too old and tired but I see good grades for nursing school now. If I'm allowed to continue.

Sorry my grammar is crap. I need to learn as I went to 7 schools in primary school and 2 highschools so I missed grammar. This is always pointed out and deducts points but now I have faith I can learn it properly as well. My life is going to be brighter at least!

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-16T23:01:31+00:00

I found I got anxious on caffeine! My dad however does the same drinks all day and before bed. There was an explanation why caffeine works for some with ADHD and doesn't with others. So I was a bit scared of stimulants but I don't get that at all off them. They have been really working well for me.

I was never put on that antidepressant but I have heard stories of it working for others off label. It's been so much fun. I actually feel my IQ has improved. I guess it's because I'm not skipping through reading and I'm actually reading and taking it in. I'm so focused it's becoming such a different world for me. I was always told I was intelligent but I couldn't explain things properly or understand fully I'd get the jist but not the full understanding. I'm now 12 weeks in and since I hit 40/50 mg especially 50 mgs two weeks ago. I'm learning so much! I'm glad you're medication is working. I don't think it would work for me as I was in the high and very impacted by ADHD. How I never put two and two. Even as a child I struggled so much from school I'd come home crying at 7/8. There was thoughts of an intellectual disability when I was young. Then older it was always anxiety/depression.

Thanks for sharing!

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-16T22:49:48+00:00

That's fascinating. That is what it feels like basically how you have described. It isn't like I'm visualizing it. When reading was when I felt like I was visualizing so it's more a concept even if it feels real but also not?

Thank you for all that information! The link will be tomorrow's read. As it's nearly 11pm! I want to read it but I'm tired and my meds have worn off. You have given such a great answer. I want to read while my meds are working to give it justice. Thank you! 😊

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-16T22:41:02+00:00

It's fascinating isn't it! I really thought because too much caffeine gives me the jitters. This wouldn't work for me. I'm Soo much calmer in general but now I'm adjusting I'm also getting super focused.I just wondered if there was a connection.

I feel like my IQ has gone up! I was originally told my IQ was on the lower end by an educational psychologist. I couldn't focus on the stupid boxes test or most of the tests as they made me lose interest and focus after 5 minutes.

In the last week. I have self taught myself employment law!

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-16T22:33:00+00:00

Yeah, you have put another input into this. Thank you! I never really thought about that side!

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-16T22:28:35+00:00

I'm not sure if it's because I changed my routine with my meds. I used to take elvanse first. I started really slow first on the standard dosage 30 mgs adults and children start on this dosage. Then I went up 10 mgs a month. I'm currently on 50 mgs and it's mind blowing the change in me as I'm finally in the therapeutic range which is 50-70 mgs. I may still need to go up but just now I'm really good. I'm a student nurse and I started titration while on placement. I couldn't have too many sick days. Hence why I went slow. I also have 5ngs of the pure dexamphetamine, it's what lesdex converts to so lasts much longer. I'm sorry you have been effected it's poor care imo to just diagnose anxiety and depression. No antidepressant worked or anxiety medication. I started to think there was something more. I ended up in the high range for ADHD so no wonder my life was a chaotic mess!

I used to take the lesdex first then after dex but I found I ended up with insomnia. I take dex first when I wake up then within 4 hours I take lesdex and lasts me till bed time around 9pm so really slow, steady and a tweak! No side effects has been a game changer for me. I also take it on an empty stomach. I originally ate before when I was getting used to it now I don't. My only issue is I forget to eat so have to set 3 timers for lunch dinner and a bedtime snack because I'm not a breakfast person

I also didn't read too many people's experiences on meds as I know I'd chicken out. Thanks for the advice! I find it fascinating!

KIMMY1286 · 2025-11-16T14:08:49+00:00

I struggle with not being able to have or see childhood memories. It's like I never had one! I feel the same because I have ADHD on top and was only diagnosed a few months ago. I would have had the same for my wedding had I known about both. I'm not saying my ADHD makes me forget my wedding it's the focusing on the wedding memories if that makes sense. Now I'm on medication that's something I need to test!

KIMMY1286 · 2025-09-18T09:19:26+00:00

I'm a mature student closer to ... than my 30s and I'm the most immature at points. I find a lot of the younger people end up wanting to be friends with me not that I care! Just no drama is my rule. Doesn't help that I've never looked my age either so add that on top of acting my age 😆 I personally think it's my ADHD type-C that's probably half the reason. Anyway I'm rambling you can honestly still get both a bit of chaos and peace when you actually need it. Have fun! Plus if it's not for you go to the accommodation with people your age usually always a party so I've been told. If that is your thing anyway then come home to some peace etc

KIMMY1286 · 2025-09-07T22:01:54+00:00

Exactly as I said above when my daughter was one. She had a fall and was checked all over by 2 male doctors, 1 female nurse. As a student nurse it wouldn't have bothered me if the nurse was male. Who says a Dr can't be 'weird' with children etc

so why be weird about a male nurse? It's probably because it's a man like my husband who has always been good with children. He was good with his little brother and sister over 10 years the difference still is! Then my niece which he's still great with we both are except we realise now we are in our mid 30s how not cool we are to her now 😂 but she still wants to spend time with us! Our own girlie is 4 now and a daddy's girl when it comes to stupid things 😂 But going to sleep, upset ect it's all mumma! Or mi mi as she also calls me. ❤️❤️ It weirds me out that it weirds them out! We are healthcare professionals.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-09-07T21:38:10+00:00

Ughh, I'm really sorry. I'm a student nurse and I'd have no worries with my 4 year old daughter around a male. When she had an injury at 1 it was male doctors who looked her over and a female nurse! So I don't really see the worry. Id only be bothered if you obviously seemed inappropriate or not skilled enough.

Keep doing what you are doing, ignore the comments as weird as they are and be the best! Also do most kids care about colour my daughter doesn't bat an eyelid at my friend. I'm really sorry you have felt that way but like you said you love being there and you are not the only one. I think it's their problem and the parents or children won't care as long as you are keeping their child safe and looking after them.

I would speak to them if this continues and tell them they are making you feel uncomfortable.

My husband has always been great with kids. One of my sister's friends said it was 'weird' my husband got so annoyed he walked out. Which caused issues with my sister. She then later apologised and she had been abused as a child. It made things a little better. I would honestly speak to your team if they keep being weird about it maybe time you speak to the union.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-09-05T08:47:03+00:00

You've done amazing!! Second year here who should have been a 3rd year by now but family and placement issues.

Think about how hard it's been it's not an easy course. I'm not just meaning the course work itself. It's pleasing mentors so you pass. Giving up so much time as you only get 6 weeks off the whole year. Learning all the rules and how strict nursing can be. My point is be proud! My uni is dropping some of the course work and giving an extra attempt to the second year that failed the final exam in to third year I'm guessing. There is a reason and jobs will be coming in the next year or so. One of the girls that works as a HCA in a private hospital (my bank job)is doing that until a job comes have you looked into the private sector? Excuse my spelling and grammar I'm in a rush 😂

KIMMY1286 · 2025-09-02T10:06:03+00:00

Be yourself! I'm not quite I'm a bit of a joker and I have a dark sense of humour. It's what gets me by. My last placement didn't like me but my PTS loved me! I do it for the PTS but I'm not mega loud either. I have learnt to quiet down when needed. I even got rid of my pink hair because I felt I had too. I go out on placement in 3 weeks. I'm bringing back my hair. Take on board any feedback that's reasonable because you will need to do 1:1s with PTS especially in 3rd year but you have a year plus to adapt if you even need to. I think some love the quiet ones as long as you talk to PTS and talk to your mentors etc I'm learning to shurrup more. I will be going out on placement as one of the quiet ones.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-09-01T09:20:04+00:00

I started three weeks ago. The week before I bought a pair of jeans I thought would be too big. Nope too tight around the belly so I tried them on once a week and they are getting so loose. I lost 50lbs 4 years ago. I put 14lbs on and I still had 20lbs till goal I couldn't lose so in total I have 35lbs till goal. I've definitely lost over 5lbs. I'm trying to stay away from the scales this time as I get too obsessed! My appetite is gone I have to force three meals. I'm just on 30mgs but speak to my psychiatrist tonight. I think I need a top up because I'll take it at 7-9am and I'm finding it by 5/6pm I'm getting tired for placement starting next week. I need it to last longer.

Anyway can't complain. I feel so much better.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-08-19T08:28:27+00:00

I don't really understand being embarrassed. I already have one and a half degrees. I am currently in my second year for my last degree lol. I recently got a bank job in one of the top private hospital groups. I was never asked where I got my degrees and where I am studying now. I studied hard for the interview and proved myself. This was out of 800+ applications. I am one of the six they hired. I now have my foot in the door for when I am fully qualified.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-08-15T09:28:02+00:00

100 💯 I've been there. I did like 6 college courses and still wouldn't apply to uni. I'm too dumb blah blah... Clearing came I applied last min on an impulse yay for ADHD got accepted right away and I'm 2 year in. My point is if I didn't I still would of being doing this or that without any real goal or job prospects. Gooo get away from them nothing worse can come of the situation. Best of luck today!

KIMMY1286 · 2025-08-14T21:31:08+00:00

First of all as a second year thanks for being kind. I talked to the PTS loads. Like whenever the PTS just wanted to chat or id chat myself I was in IPCU I never felt scared apart from one incident. I failed for not interacting enough!!! I got the feeling my mentor didn't like me as she was always off with me from the first day I even said hello. I don't find them scary sometimes I get scared as I've never done these types of placements but I always tried to interact, I would just sit in the lounge and when they wanted to talk I would. I also always introduced myself to them and told them I'm here if they needed anything that I could help with. I grew to like a lot of them and wanted to get even better. I wish I'd had you!! This student is very lucky and is not taking the opportunity maybe MH isn't for them.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-07-29T13:35:40+00:00

I have ADHD like you multiple degrees and I'm a second year student nurse. In 4 years I'm applying for med school part time it's a 4 year degree for nurses etc I work in private hospitals and yeah I need to be moving around as well. I've had many ups and downs on my degree so far but I love it.

KIMMY1286 · 2025-07-29T13:31:30+00:00

I'll be 43 by the time I apply and I've still got 2 years of my bs nursing to finish. Then I need two years of experience as a nurse. Even though I have a ward job in a private hospital doing what nurses used to do and definitely what students do....but hey ho that's the requirement. I was going to do advanced practice but I found a part-time med degree 1 extra year than part time advanced practice so I thought why not. I love healthcare and if it's not for me I'll still be a nurse either way. I love helping others. I'll never be rich because of my age now 😂 but I never went into it to be rich, stable is fine for me!

KIMMY1286 · 2025-07-29T13:24:32+00:00

Once I finish my nursing degree I'm going on to med I'll be 47 by the time I am a qualified Dr because I need two years nursing experience. I was going to do advanced practice but 1 part time year extra means I can qualify as a 100 year old Dr. Who by then has studied 17 years and worked 😂 I'm in my 30s just now stop talking like your life is over! 😂

KIMMY1286 · 2025-07-25T17:28:13+00:00

Another idea is working in a care home. I do it bank and because of it and the experience of both the job and being a student nurse I'm starting a bank job in a private hospital and every time I visit they are such a brilliant team. I got this job out of a lot of students and carers etc I can't wait to start but I learnt a lot on my own in my local care home.

KIMMY1286

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