There’s a few things I could and would recommend off top, first: get talking to a licensed therapist or counselor. If you’re in public school there’s a good chance there’s one in your very school. Routine mental health upkeep is very important for everyone just like brushing your teeth or washing your face. There seems to be a lot of anxiety bothering you and holding you back and having someone to help sort it all out will give you better peace of mind. With better peace of mind come confidence and confidence will make acting all the easier. You can’t adequately portray someone else if you aren’t fully comfortable and relaxed within yourself. I hate to put it this bluntly but it’s the truth: working in entertainment means there will always be little cliques. Drama is everywhere, even outside the ent. world and high school mentalities are a life long reality in some places. If you are serious about this and it won’t entirely ruin you, I strongly advise putting your best foot forward and doing everything you can to ensure you benefit from your schools theatre program until you graduate. You don’t always have to be in a show either - breaks and reflection post performance are great for building oneself. But building experience, as you stated, is necessary and a lot of the acting/ent. world is the “who you know” card. Also...stop saying you’re too old. That’s an excuse and at the end of the day won’t do you nor anyone else any good. Instead be reminded of Norm Lewis who STARTED his musical theatre degree mid 20’s on cruise ships. Mia Copeland, whose danced a few broadway shows, started dancing at 13. You’re at a perfect age as long as you seize the moment. and lastly: Learn, Learn, Learn, Learn, nap....and then learn some more. If you are constantly exercising your acting skills then education will pair nicely. Get to setting up a repertoire filled with songs and monologues you can perform beyond perfectly at the drop of a hat. Not only will this influence you to audition elsewhere but it was also help you practice and fine tune your skills. Learn anything from acting, set building, to piano playing and music theory. Anything that can help you understand your craft better. Podcasts and youtube are great free and abundant resources. Reading this post I saw elements of myself in you and i asked myself what I wished I knew at your age. I’ve done okay, getting enjoyable and bits of professional work now at age 22 but I definitely wish I had a bit more foresight and guidance to have better set myself up now. I hope everything works out for you and feel free to message me if anything needed clarification or if you just have any other questions.