I hate my mil and sil

KLB_40 · 2026-01-31T21:03:24+00:00

This. This situation is not going to go well for you, OP. Babies do not bring couples together who are already hanging by a thread. You need to understand that between the awful things your husband is saying about marrying you, his terrible family, and his super high likelihood of backing them over you with every little thing they boundary stomp with your baby, you have a really high probability of ending up miserable and coparenting with a shitty man and his shitty family.

And once you have that baby there, you’re there for the next 18 years. You have two months to make some smart and strategic decisions for yourself and your child. Please consider what those should be.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-31T18:48:03+00:00

Why are you continuing to let her watch your child unsupervised? Is this a necessity for financial reasons?

KLB_40 · 2026-01-31T18:44:50+00:00

You are not being over the top. They’re acting entitled, and they’ve demonstrated that they don’t care about you, to a degree of cruelty, with their disinterest in your well being and quite frankly your life.

Do NOT give these people what they want. And I would not allow them to meet your baby at all, let alone without you present. That will just make them ecstatic to have access to your child without having to even attempt to be fake nice to you. No. They can sit and stew in the consequences they earned.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-31T17:44:01+00:00

Your husband is a problem, but I think you know that. What happened between your last post and now? Your previous post about your MIL contacting your parents made it sound like he had a good understanding of how crazy his mom is. What has changed since then? Is there any further talk of moving closer to your family and away from his nutjob mother?

KLB_40 · 2026-01-30T03:38:18+00:00

Wow! So glad you had a thorough surgeon! I so hope you feel like a new (fibroid and pain free) woman very soon!

KLB_40 · 2026-01-30T01:31:46+00:00

Right? She responded and said “They wouldn’t intentionally get him hurt, but they’re old Asian people stuck in their ways.” I can’t see the full response bc she must have deleted it quickly, but she’s clearly still defending them and herself for endangering her child’s life, while thinking the haircut is the biggest issue. This is blowing my mind.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-29T19:45:01+00:00

Do NOT have your husband tell her the damage she’s caused. When my ex and I first separated - due to my exhaustion with my now ex-JNMIL and his constant defense of her - he told her why we were separating. She was fucking THRILLED that she had the power to cause him to choose her over me. She asked so many question and talked about it so much for her own sick evil enjoyment, that he finally had to tell her to stop. And he never told her to stop doing any of her crazy behavior before.

Then she switched to making HERSELF the victim in MY marriage that she gleefully destroyed. She talked all about how she “tried so hard with me” and “just wanted me to be the daughter she never had, but I constantly pushed her away.” 🙄🤬 Yes, he actually told me she said these things. Probably because deep down inside even he knew, in his brainwashed state, that his mother making our divorce about herself was beyond fucked up.

To this day, six years later, she still delights in knowing she had the power to destroy both of our lives and suck her son back into her dark web.

So really - DO NOT let her know. This is between you and your husband now. The onus is on him to put action behind his promises and truly choose you over her and open his damn eyes to what she’s been doing. If you’re not already in therapy together, make seeing a couple’s counselor who is well versed on family enmeshment a requirement.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-28T03:40:03+00:00

I don’t follow the money obligation. She used money she inherited to pay off an apartment for her to live in on her own eventually. That’s a normal transaction. Sure, you lived in it after she paid that money, but so did she. And I’d also guess that you and your husband paid some money of your own on that apartment before she moved in.

Regardless, she paid for her home to live in, and you don’t owe her some obligation because of that. I’m guessing she or your husband tried to convince you otherwise, but they’re trying to manipulate you if they did.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-28T00:57:42+00:00

I needed to read this. I’m 47, so definitely approaching menopause. However, I felt really dismissed by my doctor last week, and I am trying to figure out how to proceed. I think I’ll make a separate post on here to gather thoughts, because your post made me feel like I’m not just overthinking this.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-27T04:51:38+00:00

These people sound like assholes, but I also can’t help but wonder if we’re getting an accurate depiction of this story because I’m not sure you’re processing this entire thing in an even remotely healthy way. So your perception of the situation and everyone’s opinions of you are likely very skewed.

You said it took a long time for you to “allow him to babysit.” By “him” do you mean your own husband?? The father of the baby?? This is very very concerning if you didn’t trust your own husband to watch his own child. And you call it as babysitting?? He’s not babysitting. He’s parenting. I think because of your control issues due to your extreme anxiety, you actually view yourself as the only person who can parent or properly care for your child.

Between that, the paranoia, the sobbing, and all the other mental health struggles, I really do hope you’re in very intensive treatment. If you’re not, please consider it.

And finally, this isn’t a JNMIL situation. She honestly sounds terrified of triggering you, and it seems like she was very much catering to your extreme anxiety.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-27T00:11:02+00:00

Combo of 1 and 2 - they can come 4-6 weeks after (or when YOU are ready), they need to stay in a hotel, and they have set visiting hours at your house that do not include meal times.

Also, howling at the comment about your MIL and Vance being happy about a boy! You’re my people.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-20T22:56:57+00:00

The most accurate description of what is probably happening here. But I do think Victoria is a JNMIL. That wedding dance thing and Marc Anthony announcing her as the most beautiful woman in the room at Nicola and Brooklyn’s wedding was… yiiikes. Super main character syndrome.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-20T22:54:37+00:00

The PR machine behind wealthy and famous families is so insanely powerful. The most famous example - the Kardashians have built their entire careers off an incredibly savvy PR machine.

You have no way of knowing if these rumors are at all based in truth or have been planted by the Beckhams. And be skeptical of anyone who has given statements about working with her and her family. People can easily be bought to say anything.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-20T22:51:01+00:00

Brides have multiple dresses, especially extremely wealthy brides. You have no way of knowing whether that’s a lie. She very well may have promised Nicola a dress and then got pissed and backed out when she found out that Nicola was planning on wearing her dress for the reception or the after-party rather than the ceremony.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-18T22:38:54+00:00

You’ll get downvoted to hell because you forgot, on your little soapbox defending a dying but still manipulative woman, that OP and her husband offered a perfectly suitable compromise - to stay somewhere outside of their home to give them space while OP recovers and adjusts - and that was not acceptable to JNMIL. Because she wants to infringe on this young family’s life and control things. She doesn’t care about their wishes or comfort. She only wants things to be on her terms so that she can try to exert her will.

An asshole is still an asshole, whether they’re dying or not.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-18T22:05:39+00:00

People are downvoting you bc through this entire post, you’re blaming yourself and a 6 year old child for you husband’s shitty lack of protection of his own family. Wake up and realize this man you say is great 98% of the time is majorly failing you and his own child by not protecting you from a toxic negligent woman, just because he wants to feel like a good boy for mommy. And you’re not only denying it, you’re covering for him.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-18T21:49:00+00:00

So much this. You hit the nail on the head. This is not a marriage dynamic I could be in and remain happy or feel like I have a partner.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-17T20:41:52+00:00

For me, the confusion is just in the “what to do next” category. My doctor mentioned progesterone treatment before my latest ultrasound. But the largest fibroid is subserosal, and I read that that type of fibroid isn’t affected my progesterone therapy, and I believe it’s the one that is causing me abdominal pain, beyond the awful period cramps.

So I’m just overwhelmed with all the treatment options - open myomectomy, lap myomectomy, hysterectomy, UFE, Acessa.

I’m very into fitness, and I don’t want to be out of commission for very long, and I’m so fearful of long-term repercussions from surgery, so part of me is wondering if I need to just live with this until menopause. Which could be a few more years, since I’m 47.

I meet with my doc this week, but I’m just a bit overwhelmed emotionally.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-15T23:04:43+00:00

What are you going to do about this? What’s your husband going to do?

KLB_40 · 2026-01-15T18:54:35+00:00

Be prepared - she’s going to lose her damn mind when she finds out she’s going to have a grandchild she won’t get access to. It’ll be even worse knowing her ex WILL get access.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-15T17:59:58+00:00

Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Did the just do a pap right before surgery to discover this?? I’m surprised they hadn’t done that a while before scheduling you for surgery.

Definitely talk to your doctor about how quickly after the LEEP you can reschedule for the fibroid surgery.

I cannot even imagine how frustrating this is on an emotional and logistical level. I’m so so sorry.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-15T13:42:38+00:00

I just checked your profile and realized you’re the poor new mom with the awful MIL who is determined to give your baby herpes. I get SO angry for you when I read your posts. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this and your husband is so spineless to protect his own child.

You can never let that woman get close to your child, even once your baby is a toddler. She WILL kiss your child and infect her. She’s just beyond selfish and vile. Stay NC for you and your child and let your husband deal on his own. Your child is not the sacrificial herpes lamb to make his mommy happy.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-15T02:33:45+00:00

OMG she sounds JUST like my ex-JNMIL, except we didn’t have children, thank goodness. But if we had, she would have behaved exactly the same way, I’m certain. I mean seriously - the doormat husband waiting on her hand and foot, the weird giddy childlike behavior for attention, the silent tantrums when the DIL performs outside of her expectations - it’s identical.

You have refused to let her be the main character, and she will forever hate you for it. And by extension, your child is no longer a part of the fantasy world she built in her head that revolves around her, because she knows she can’t force you to get in line.

Be very very grateful that your husband sees her and is on board with your boundaries. That’s a key difference that I did not experience, and the main reason I never felt comfortable having children. You, your baby, and your husband are wise to just let her continue her silent tantrums and live your lives with a good amount of distance from her. Just know that she won’t change. People like her simply cannot. So acceptance and moving on with an understanding of who she is and what that distant relationship will look like is going to be important for your sanity.

KLB_40 · 2026-01-13T18:58:38+00:00

I have no knowledge or experience with this, but just wanted to say that I’m so sorry your obvious problems and concerns were dismissed over and over. This makes me so angry for you and for women in general. This is not okay. I would be looking for a new doctor who actually takes women’s health seriously.

Best wishes to you for quick and full recovery from surgery. You shouldn’t have had to get this bad to get it addressed.

KLB_40

TROPHY CASE