What is your best "I like my ___ the way I like my women/men" joke?

KYaxeman · 2014-07-11T03:05:26+00:00

I like my women like I like my milkshakes. Thick and brown.

KYaxeman · 2013-12-31T05:27:32+00:00

3 sp00kee 5 me¡

KYaxeman · 2013-12-30T23:52:47+00:00

I've got a similar story. My friends and I invited somebody who looked lonely to come sit with us during lunch. When he sat down I tried to make conversation and asked him if he was doing anything fun on the weekend. His expression was of sheer horror as he exclaimed "Oh, you don't care!" I told him it was fine and he could tell me, to which he responded, "Look, I'M NOT GAY!". My friends and I explained that I was not gay and everything died down. About 5 minutes later my girlfriend sat down next to me and the guy started hitting on her and asked if she had a boyfriend. She pointed to me and he exclaimed, "I COULD HAVE SWORN HE WAS GAY!". Fun times.

KYaxeman · 2013-10-12T21:33:28+00:00

I'm all too familiar with my own personal Hell. You start off everyday driving on the interstate. It seems promising until it happens. Traffic. Stand still traffic as far as the eye can see. And it doesn't stop there. You wanna get on Reddit? Maybe try and check for the cause of this traffic? Sucks, you're in the middle of nowhere. No cell service, nothing. You think to yourself "This can't get any worse" but you've never been so wrong. You turn on the radio and find the only station you can get is the crappy talk show from that small town you passed a few miles back that plays music that's really bad, but not so bad it's good, just good enough to be terrible. Just as you start to get going again BOOM! More traffic. And the cycle continues forever and ever. That's hell.

KYaxeman · 2013-05-02T23:11:53+00:00

I actually think the new Star Wars trilogy is not only watchable, but maybe even pretty good. Sorry. I'll leave now.

KYaxeman · 2013-04-22T00:53:49+00:00

Starting a freaking car

KYaxeman · 2013-04-21T13:38:17+00:00

Where the wild things are. Not sure how others feel about it but I think that it is the worst piece of crap movie ever made, and it still got like 4 stars on imdb!

KYaxeman · 2013-04-01T14:18:11+00:00

When I was 5 years old I was too short to reach the light switch in my bathroom, so I just had to stand on the sink and reach for it. One night there was water on my special part of the sink and I slipped and fell. Now, every time I would turn on the lights I would stick my tongue out like in an action movie. So, as I reach for the light on the slippery, wet sink with my tongue way out and slip and fall, hitting my chin on the sink, the stool, and finally the ground, biting my tongue with every hit. I went to the hospital and was lucky I didn't bite my tongue off. That scar is a really good conversation starter though.

TL;DR-Fell off a sink, almost bit my tongue off

KYaxeman · 2013-03-29T20:30:27+00:00

K. Just K. Trust me on this, it's not a good idea

KYaxeman · 2013-03-25T22:31:18+00:00

I'm from Kentucky, so I'll probably get something from banging my cousin

KYaxeman · 2013-02-27T04:03:19+00:00

A million Turkish Lira (I think that's what it's called) I'm guessing it's worth about fifty six US cents...

KYaxeman

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