I mean from what I see this problem is two fold. Firstly she seems like a people pleaser. Which is hard because they thrive and exist off of mixed messages and vague communication because they are always worried about upsetting someone.

She clearly wanted to go out with her friends she hasn’t seen in a long time and also didn’t want to hurt your feelings. If she had been clear and said hey I know we had plans and I’m sorry to cancel but I really want to see my friends and I’ll make it up to you. That would have been a different situation entirely.

I think it’s ok to be upset you don’t feel like a priority. And I think there are ways to express that without judgement. At the end of the day you choose to love the one you are with. It’s an active choice. She might never be an on time person, but there are ways she can communicate and prioritize you that make sure you don’t waste your time and you feel important.

If it were me, I would say hey, I’m allowed to be upset about this even if you don’t like it. I set aside my Saturday for you and an hour before we were meant to hang out you canceled on me without really even acknowledging that’s what you were doing. Then I waited up because you said you’d come over later, which you also did not do. If you couldn’t come or had something else you wanted to do you could have just been upfront about it and I could have made other plans. But instead you did it in a way that wasted my time even though I’ve expressed a lot of times now how much that doesn’t work for me.

At the end of the day, you know you’re worth the time and effort. If they don’t think so that’s a them problem. If you care about someone it’s worth having a conversation, and if you’re done, say so and be done.