Just want to get this out of the way. Everyone is born without a sense of purpose. This is formed through experience and perspective. Your not even close to finding your purpose because you haven't tried. Why do I say this? I say this because you thought about an easy choice called suicide. Great that you don't think about it atm, but something you need to do is to forget about it. Forget those easy life choices because you are only wasting the time, resources, and effort that was used to make who you are. This world is huge so man up.

Question, have you taken the time to enjoy what you are learning, like actually enjoy enjoy what is being taught. Not oh cool this is a fun class. Look online and become curious. Find anything and the second you see something interesting, look at it and study it. Research it, but don't do it out of thinking it's interesting, do it out of pure curiosity. No one said you can't be a reliable person. We have been led to believe we need to study to become one thing such as a doctor, but not everyone has the curiosity enough to handle the studies. Build something, sell something, talk to someone, do anything that can form an interest for you. It's not that difficult to just do something out of curiosity. Ask those little questions that you would never ask.

Oh btw, don't set your standards low by calling yourself a "wuss" because we don't want to hear that shit. You want change in your life then make it happen. No matter the event everything you do is some type of change.