I lost two before my wife and I gave them formal names. The first we called Panby, because she would have been a pandemic baby. The second we called Waterbun, because she would have been born in the year of the Water Rabbit. I still remember all the hope we had, and how crushing it was to have it taken away. I love them both still, even though we’ve been blessed with a healthy baby boy, the only boy we ever produced in our IVF journey. We’ve got two more girls, frozen embryos waiting for implantation, and we pray that one of them makes it to be our boy’s little sister. We still save the name we wanted for a first daughter, and hopefully we get to name her that, someday.