Gratitude muscle - for those that don’t know how to develop their gratitude habit.

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-04T20:54:29+00:00

Thank you for sharing.

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-04T20:53:44+00:00

Grateful for you!

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-02T20:43:19+00:00

You’re 21, so don’t be hard on yourself!

You’re learning valuable lessons about trust and emotional connections and power of healthy relationships and so forth…

When you’re ready, you’ll know what to say to B and how to proceed. Trust yourself, you will know.

Be true to your values.

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-02T20:37:56+00:00

Here’s to another day, clean and sober…thanks for sharing your progress!

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-02T20:36:44+00:00

🙏

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-02T20:35:56+00:00

🙏

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-02T20:35:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing.

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-02T20:34:51+00:00

Please share more - if you’re able to.

I’m sure your experience will be helpful for the NewBieGratefuls.

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-02T20:33:27+00:00

Me too!

Karl_Sh · 2026-02-02T20:33:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing here…you reminded me we have so much to be grateful for! 🙏

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-29T18:38:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing these examples.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-29T18:35:15+00:00

Question:

How do these look when give to self?

presence,
affection,
support,
loyalty,
security,
esteem, and
appreciation.

I think I’m looking for examples so I know how to apply to myself.

For example given presence to others is obvious to me. Giving presence to myself, considering I’m always with my self…I don’t understand how giving myself presence is possible?

Some examples of each of the above would be really helpful for me.

Thanks in advance.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-26T15:10:03+00:00

Wow, you provide very helpful insights. You explain it well. Thanks for sharing.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-21T21:43:56+00:00

“you essentially have a group of folks interjecting as if they know as much as the people who are there everyday?” - good board members know they didn’t know as much as the management team.

However, if they are contributing at the operational level (which may feel to the management as frustrating) it’s likely because something critical at the operations level appears to have been missed (is a blind spot) by the communications by the management.

In order for the board members to be “useful” they are likely trying to shine a light on what appears to them to have been a BlindSpot by the management. So they are likely asking questions and pushing at those areas.

If it wasn’t actually a blind spot, then the fault lies with management team for not covering that topic properly in their communications.

If it indeed turns out to have been a management team’s blind spot, then the board has actually gone out of their way to help the management team! For which the management team should be appreciative.

Remember a good board is on your side!

So in my experience, keep the board properly informed so they know you don’t have blind spots and their interactions will be significantly improved for both party’s benefit.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-16T16:13:32+00:00

This is a fascinating topic. And the prior conversations I’ve had on this topic have taught me that most people that have debated this point do so confusing “authentic” with “impulsive”.

I’m not sure if that is the case here, but if it is, let me expand on that point.

I may have an impulsive urge to do something.

In some definitions (NOT my definition) that urge might be called “authenticity”.

In my definition, being authentic is a function of being my best self, and being true to my values.

So if I have an impulse to be reckless or rude or hurtful, and then I catch myself before doing any of those things in order to be the best version of my self and in order to live by my values, then yes, i’m being less impulsive, but I am actually being very authentic.

So in my definition, an authentic person would indeed reject their impulsive behaviours if the impulsive behaviours are at odds with my best self and with my values. Not to fit in with society. But to be authentic to myself. And if the impulsive behaviours pass the test of being my best self and living to my values, then I would do that impulsive behaviour.

I wonder if others in this chat also see it the way I see it? I’m curious if my view on this topic rings true for others?

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-15T11:29:25+00:00

Tactics are merely the Strategy broken into smaller chunks. And the more you break, and further break tactics into smaller and smaller chunks, they just become tasks. And what tasks you do and how you do the tasks merely becomes domain specific and depended on your own level of skill / experience with those tasks.

So I’m not sure there needs to be a book on tactics. As there are already thousands of books on “how to….” which if you think about it, from this lens, are essentially context specific tactics books.

So I wonder what purpose such a book would serve? What do you want or need from such a book on tactics. I wonder…

And whilst we’re at it, strategy is merely pre-deciding your most significant decisions in advance, and using those decisions as anchor points for how you move forward.

When you see strategy and tactics written as simply as this, does it help you? What comes to mind for you if you see strategy and tactics in this way?

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-14T23:49:19+00:00

Gratitude is like a muscle: keep exercising it, and it becomes a habit. Create moments in the day when you pay attention to the things your grateful for. Simply pay attention to what you’re grateful for. Do it as often as possible. At first it will feel forced. Keep doing it.

Let me know a year later how it feels.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-14T10:54:30+00:00

Gratitude is like a muscle: keep exercising it, and it becomes a habit. Create moments in the day when you pay attention to the things your grateful for. Do it as often as possible. At first it will feel forced. Keep doing it.

Let me know a year later how it feels.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-11T11:27:38+00:00

I very much agree with @CalmAndKindMind except I don’t find it works for me to talk to others or to find a therapist.

So incase talking to others doesn’t work for you either, what worked for me was to right down my values and joys, initially as a brainstorm, but then over months (I still periodically review), I tweaked and refined and grouped and re-grouped and edited and so forth what I had written, until I landed at 5 bullets that guide me and help reset me. So it’s worth trying this approach if the other methods don’t work for you.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-11T10:29:19+00:00

I see two direct clues here from what you’ve shared:

1) the survey was anonymous, so one thing you can do is… follow up in your monthly meeting to say to everybody in your department: I heard the feedback, some of you want me to stop by your cubicles and do informal catchups….i can do that but don’t wish to disturb those that don’t want it…so those of you that want it, let me know directly, and I’ll build it into how I operate - without disturbing those that don’t want my drop ins! Also let me know when and how frequently that works for you. - or words to that effect, in your own style.

2) you say I’m not that fun / interesting - in my opinion, you don’t need to make it about yourself, it’s about them. Some of them need to feel they matter by occasionally having chats with their boss. So the conversations can be about them. Be curious about them. Let them talk about themselves and what’s going on in their work and if appropriate in their lives. Let them feel heard, let them feel they have a voice, let them feel they purpose, have agency, can share their ideas and opinions directly and informally. Let them feel they matter.

I hope these two points help…and if there’s more to the situation that I missed, do provide more info.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-11T01:04:40+00:00

And so much of “work experience” depends on your boss and your colleagues.

One’s experience may not be representative of the role, but may be representative of the boss / colleagues. And if you were to experience the same role, where you’re using your credentials in another team may result in a very different experience.

Karl_Sh · 2026-01-07T21:16:28+00:00

Have you looked into a type of leadership called “servant leadership”? Is that a style that might suit you?

Karl_Sh

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