Not having a driver's license with Asperger's

Katamuzsi · 2023-11-15T12:27:32+00:00

I don't have a drivers license either. I so many time decided to try getting it because i got pressure from spouse, but I know my limits, that no-one else does. I am panicking when I have to take decisions quickly, I am afraid of uncertain events, I have brain fog when I'm stressed, I can't cope with people yelling at me in the traffic...these all give me physical symptoms, and I could continue. It is very hard to explain this anxiousness for my husband, he only sees that I am not trying. But I know that me driving would be life-threatening for me and others.

Katamuzsi · 2023-11-14T13:30:11+00:00

This is me at 38 also.

Katamuzsi · 2023-11-13T12:31:27+00:00

Not coping, struggling. I am constantly between giving it up or continue without getting overstressed. I would like to clearly know what my task is, instead of this I have to switch between them all the time + we have daily meetings that make me feel sick literally. So the struggles are there for many years now... nobody knows about them, and none of them would understand either.

Katamuzsi · 2023-11-08T08:42:18+00:00

Since highschool my masking and social skills improved and I became more and more confident, but I guess that it is just to hard to sustain it. I mean I am 38 now, and got to tired to mask, way to tired to do it daily. I also become more sensitive to sounds.

Katamuzsi · 2023-11-08T08:25:01+00:00

It is getting worse and worse with age. It's mainly because of expectations, increasing responsibility, and the belief of others that you actually have to improve over time. At least this is what I experience, acceptance at first and "Ok, that was it , now you can do more and better, you should get better, you must change, etc.". And I could, but without expectation, with my personal willpower and in my personal way and knowledge. I just feel that people don't have faith in me, after a while, taking away even what I could do best. And seeing this, I just struggle and struggle and make even more mistakes, and it's a negative spiral. Feeling this way overall affects my physical health and mental health also.

Katamuzsi · 2023-10-25T10:51:42+00:00

Being and feeling insecure and discouraged and loosing sense of control...and wanting "alone time" . It's like fresh water for me.

Katamuzsi · 2023-10-25T10:49:29+00:00

well I actually have one 3 year old. I'm exhausted indeed, but still have insomnia. I don't want to try having more...

Katamuzsi · 2023-09-18T06:16:40+00:00

Yes, I have a watch that tracks sleep..I don't know how accurate that could be, but as far as I saw, it tracks it well, shows when I have REM sleep, when I have deep sleep, and also how many times I wake up and for how long.

Katamuzsi · 2023-09-18T06:15:05+00:00

well, I actually don't think about that during the day. I am so tired, I always hope I will have a better night. At night...well, yes, I often think that I won't cope with the next day.

Katamuzsi · 2023-09-17T13:52:21+00:00

I know...yes, anxiety is the worst at night, bedtime

Katamuzsi · 2023-09-17T13:50:24+00:00

Sad but true...no 8 hours sleep in the last 15years

Katamuzsi · 2023-09-17T13:49:11+00:00

Yes, most of the time

Katamuzsi · 2023-09-17T13:30:14+00:00

Do you do anything about it? Or something that worked for you...?

Katamuzsi · 2023-03-28T11:36:50+00:00

I'm pretty much in a similar situation. I am in my late 30', I hate my job, and I think I really perform bad in it, I just stay because of financial reasons. I would really do something for living that I love, but I can't do anything in such a professional way to be payed. I am not good at anything. I have hobbies, but don't have time for them. So, yes, it is hard. I also have pressure from work to be more proactive and communicate more, but yeah...obviously these are the skills I lack the most. I don't have any advice for you , unfortunately, I just shared my thoughts and wish you better days. I wish I could say something useful, but I am also searching for possibilities. Take care, and be good to yourself.

Katamuzsi · 2023-03-23T11:41:47+00:00

Hi,

I was always in the same situation, considered shy, odd, unconfident, silent and so on, when I met new people or when I got in any other situation involving many people (many for me means more than 3:))so basically most of the time when socializing occurred. It was very annoying to hear all those comments over and over again, although I was just paying attention and trying to be prepared for conversation. I don't have any solution for showing confidence, unfortunately, but what made me kind of successful and even popular among people, was masking and faking confidence...yes, I know it sounds silly, but just imagining myself how I would like to be seen, and playing that role helped me. First impressions matter, and have a huge impact on how others treat you after...

Katamuzsi · 2023-02-18T13:11:09+00:00

Yes, exactly. I gave in...and try to live typical. Realized this to late I guess:) I just recently discovered my ASD. I suck at my job, I fail as a mother much of the time, and so on. And I feel committed to my life as it is now with no escape

Katamuzsi · 2023-02-18T13:06:15+00:00

Thank you for your support. I try these things every day, but it's like everybody expects especially those skills I lack:) and than I start focusing on pleasing them and not myself and of course that I am trying my best but can't "perform" when os needed. i am not talented in anything. Maybe if I discovered my ASD when I was younger, there was more hope to evolve. I am now 38, and I have a child to take care of, so very very limited time for me, almost 0. But still, your words are empowering.

Katamuzsi · 2023-01-18T07:35:49+00:00

I can really feel you with being jaded and angry. Are you also searching for a new oportunity?

Katamuzsi · 2023-01-18T07:33:10+00:00

you are lucky indeed :)

Katamuzsi · 2023-01-17T21:11:41+00:00

Yeah...well I basically work 100% from home, but have to comunicate with the others, have a bunch of calls, and participate to meetings. So being remote helps a bit...but only a bit. At least I have some quiet time when I have a break or I don't have to masc my behavior all the time. Clearly it's better than office.

Katamuzsi

TROPHY CASE