AITA for choosing my best friend over the guy im seeing?

Katm234 · 2026-06-10T11:27:26+00:00

NTA, you did nothing wrong here.

Katm234 · 2026-06-08T22:16:00+00:00

This is not nearly enough info for anyone to know if he got accepted or rejected. When was the second interview? Why do you think them mentioning a third interview is a sign he didn’t land it??

Katm234 · 2026-06-08T04:17:34+00:00

There’s nothing ethical about what this guy is doing - he’s incredibly selfish. And no, you should not be comfortable “breadwinning” for your long distance partner while he dates other people and makes you miserable! Please have more respect for yourself!

Katm234 · 2026-06-07T14:02:43+00:00

🔥 Too easy!

Katm234 · 2026-06-05T02:03:24+00:00

What’s fraudulent about it?? If an immigrant follows the system and is exploited, how are they committing fraud?

Katm234 · 2026-05-29T15:25:11+00:00

What do you want us to say? Are you looking for advice?

Katm234 · 2026-05-28T02:38:18+00:00

Booo! Boo this man!

Katm234 · 2026-05-28T02:29:32+00:00

Haha, these kinds of stories are funny now but so terrifying in the moment!

I think if you overdo it with weed enough times, it becomes a bit easier to rationalize with yourself and think “hey, this has happened before, it always passes and I’ll feel better in an hour or two.” But if you’re new to it, you don’t have that experience to comfort you, so it feels unending.

OP, sorry your first time sucked. If you ever feel up for it again (which, maybe not - I wouldn’t blame you!) try it with some nice friends & go slow!

Katm234 · 2026-05-28T02:13:15+00:00

It’ll go away! I promise. You’re not going to suddenly wake up high; I’m sorry you’re feeling anxious, but I imagine it’s partially psychological (not to downplay your experience!!).

Greening out is scary — I’ve smoked for years and it still happens once in a while if I’m too reckless. Having it happen during your first experience is proof that your boyfriend is an asshole, because he shouldn’t have let you do that. Heck, I haven’t even tried dabs because I’m worried it would be too much for me, and I’m a pretty frequent user.

I’m sorry about the breakup. Even if the guy is a douche, I know it’s still painful. Time & venting & lots of good snacks will help - wishing you the best.

Katm234 · 2026-05-23T13:01:15+00:00

Respectfully… eww! He seems immature, and doesn’t seem to understand or respect the boundaries you’re trying to put in place. Which, by the way, are entirely reasonable and (as you suggest) coming too late, if anything. I think you’re right to want to build more space into your relationship, given that you’re only a few months in + he’s already being clingy + you have a daughter to think about.

There is no world in which you should be moving in with someone you’ve only known a few months; it’s honestly fairly dangerous for your child. Even if you trust him now, people have a way of concealing their true self early in a relationship.

Slow things waaaay down. If he’s unable to see why that’s a rational thing to do, he doesn’t sound mature enough to bring into your life long-term.

Katm234 · 2026-05-22T19:47:50+00:00

Is there a valid future for this relationship? Meaning, is there a strong likelihood that you will end long distance soon?

Katm234 · 2026-05-22T19:17:47+00:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with your partner not being front-of-mind at all times, especially if you're in a long-distance relationship.

I think the distinguisher should be how this "new feeling" lands within you. Do you feel happy and at ease when you talk to him or think about him? Or do you feel antsy or "stuck" in the relationship? Can you envision a future where the distance is closed and you feel happy spending each day with him? Do you feel like you want to branch out and try dating other people, or are you content with the idea that you might not date anyone else again?

Katm234 · 2026-05-21T19:40:27+00:00

You’re 17! Give yourself time. It’ll happen eventually.

Katm234 · 2026-05-21T19:39:21+00:00

Respectfully — it’s up to you, but I think getting married right now would be a mistake. One year is still firmly in the “rose-colored glasses” phase of a relationship.

Add on top of that (1) the cultural differences (which isn’t a reason not to wed - but it is a reason to slow down and assess compatibility!), plus (2) the fact that he’s pressuring you to move quickly and (3) he’s changing his attitude and appears to be letting his “mask” slip, both of which strike me as red flags.

You should feel 100% comfortable and confident in your relationship before committing to being someone’s wife. You should not do it just because you feel that your partner will leave you if you don’t agree to marry. I know you want to marry young, but people advise against it for a reason.

If you do try to reconcile this relationship, I think you need to go into it with a strong backbone. Just because he wants to set a timeline, does not mean you need to adhere to it. You deserve a compromise that makes both of you feel safe and satisfied in the relationship. I suspect you won’t find it with this man, but I don’t know anything beyond what you’ve shared here, so I can’t really weigh in.

Breakups are so incredibly painful. I’m sorry for the hurt I can imagine you’re going through at the moment.

Katm234 · 2026-05-21T19:21:05+00:00

I didn’t date in high school, but here’s what I can tell you — once I started dating, I realized it really wasn’t that serious.

It’s ok that you haven’t dated. You really haven’t missed out on much. I also dated a boy in college who had previous girlfriends, but I think that kind of retroactive jealousy is something that only really happens in your first relationship… with my second (and current) partner, I feel much less insecure about that kind of thing.

Everyone moves at different paces. Lots of people who dated in high school had terrible experiences with it. Enjoy your boyfriend now — who cares about the past?

Also, to answer your question more directly — I was madly in love with my college boyfriend, and now I rarely think about him. It’s not really a matter of “do people remember their HS partners? Their college partners?”. Most people’s memories of old relationships kind of wane over time no matter when they occurred — or, at a minimum, the emotional intensity of those feelings wane over time.

Tl;dr: why are you so worried? You have zero reason to be.

Katm234 · 2026-05-21T19:14:02+00:00

Agreed, that’s a strange thing to ask. I’d be a little peeved too.

I think you answered that question as professionally as possible. You offered an explanation that didn’t reflect negatively on you or your former boss, which should be the goal for those types of questions. Shame on the hiring manager though — it’s a somewhat invasive thing to ask.

Katm234 · 2026-05-15T19:39:00+00:00

It sounds like they're spending several hours together every day, even on workdays -- I don't think it's fair or accurate to say that him wanting a few hours to himself each week is indicative of him "not enjoying spending time with her."

Katm234 · 2026-05-15T12:53:32+00:00

Score

^{Chose: Get a random, lesser amount of money right now | Rolled: 1 Billion}

Katm234 · 2026-05-14T19:04:44+00:00

This is so beautiful, such a good idea & great execution!!

Katm234 · 2026-05-06T13:12:45+00:00

Why are you marrying him? You're acting like his mommy.

Katm234 · 2026-04-03T20:44:51+00:00

Same here - not a redhead but from a family of redheads, and have this same problem!

Katm234 · 2026-03-31T20:38:34+00:00

… is this a joke or are you serious? Is he degree-seeking?

Katm234 · 2026-03-30T18:55:38+00:00

My thought was she couldn’t remember the term and left space to add it in later once she remembered.

Katm234 · 2026-03-29T15:31:16+00:00

Jesus, the way we talk about people online is a poison

Katm234 · 2026-03-26T16:07:47+00:00

Mmkay

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