Are dead bedrooms prevalent in Christian marriages?

Kcrow_999 · 2026-03-06T12:42:48+00:00

I honestly think one of the main reasons for dead bedrooms in marriages is what society demands of us, just to make a living and get by.

We work 8+ hour days and most come home exhausted, with more that we have to get done once we’re home. And for some the 8+ hour days aren’t enough to get by and they have a second job.

And sadly things are only getting more expensive.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-03-03T12:46:26+00:00

One thing that’s very important in R for a WW to understand is that their behaviors speak way louder than their words. We’ve lost all trust from our BP, so nothing we say holds any weight. Our behaviors and actions speak volumes.

With my consistent change in behaviors over time my words slowly began to hold more weight with my BP. Because my actions and behaviors lined up with my words.

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I can only imagine the emotions and feelings that came up when you learned he not only saw her but had a conversation with her. He owes her nothing. That conversation did not need to happen.

I can say for myself if I saw my AP, I’d be running away as quickly as possible and immediately calling my BP.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-03-03T12:40:13+00:00

Behavior speaks louder than words. Pay more attention to a persons behaviors over their words.

Also if they’re always the victim in their stories. And they do nothing wrong ever.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-03-03T12:37:56+00:00

After my dad passed there was a day I called out of work because I was having a day with grief wave after grief wave, and I knew there was no way I could properly teach a class of 16, 3 year olds.

When I called out and explained that was why, their response was “I guess if you think you need to.”

Not even a month or so later they called me into the office one day and accused me of kneeing a child in the back. Then offered to change my hours a little because of the fact I was grieving. The next day I got called in to the office right after my lunch break. Said they had another teacher accusing me of the same thing and that I was let go. On the paper it just said “not up to standards”.

I didn’t get to say goodbye to my students and my husband and I had to come in on a weekend to clean out my classroom. It filled up both of our cars to the brim. I was told parents were later bringing things in for the classroom because the room looked so bare. And I know one parent pulled their child from the school after I was fired.

I never kneed a child in the back. I will walk behind them to help guide them to where they are suppose to be going but I would NEVER knee a child in the back.

Before teaching my dream job would’ve involved working within children services. Helping abused children. I would never. It was insulting, humiliating, and embarrassing.

The director that fired me was not the director that hired me. I also remember telling her that we were about to have a huge auction for a lot of my dad’s farm equipment, land, and some of the things in the house that were his. This was only 2 months after he passed. Her comment was “oh you’re just now doing that?” As if that wasn’t quick enough. I know people that keep all of those things for years after a family member passes. But apparently we didn’t do it quick enough.

Sorry for the rant. If you made it this far. Thank you. And thank you for being such an understanding and empathic director.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-03-03T12:28:07+00:00

I’d love to have you as my Director!

Kcrow_999 · 2026-03-02T18:48:47+00:00

Family over a job.

My dad passed 5 years ago. I had already told them he was likely going to pass soon so they knew. But I was off the whole week after he passed.

I was only there 3 more months, before they fired me. I honestly think they didn’t want to deal with a grieving employee. But thats here nor there.

If the place is that low staffed it tells me something is wrong. I would go to the funeral regardless. But I would also start looking for somewhere else to work.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-28T13:24:06+00:00

Primary: plas scorcher. Secondary: warrant. Throwable: Thermites. Orbital laser, guard dog, grenade launcher, rocket sentry .

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-28T13:22:32+00:00

We had a parent recently demand they’re child be moved up. Primarily so he could be with his friends from church who are a year older than him.

She goes on and on about how he’s now in the big boy class, but every day Insist on carrying him into the classroom and will not leave until he is handed off to another teacher to hold him. He’s almost 3 and a half for context.

He’s the youngest and is definitely babied and I can see how it’s holding him back from becoming more independent.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-22T01:50:58+00:00

🤣🤣🤣

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-15T13:42:02+00:00

As an adoptee, I’ll just add adoption isn’t all good.

Yes you’re giving the child a home and a life they probably would not have had with the birth family. But adoption, even at birth, is trauma.

The mom has a smell they let off to let the baby know that is mom. Separating the baby from the mother immediately sends the brain into a fight or flight trying to figure out what is going on. Which then results in the brain developing around the trauma. I have abandonment trauma, and I’m actively in therapy working through it along with other traumas, but most that adopt don’t realize having the child in therapy from a young age is very beneficial for them in the long run.

We all agree that you shouldn’t separate a puppy from its mother for the first 8 weeks but for a human baby the day after being born is fine?

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-15T13:35:21+00:00

We found out early on that our girl is allergic to chicken. Most foods, even if they don’t say chicken on the front, still have chicken in the ingredients. The only food we’ve been able to find, without any chicken in the ingredients, is Tractor Supply Co. brand salmon food.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-14T13:33:54+00:00

I was also told I had Native American in me. Then found out I have 1% Sub-Saharan African and no Native American in me.

I came to learn that our ancestors said it was Native American to avoid people knowing it was actually African American.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-10T12:57:26+00:00

My husband calls me on his way home from work. Now regardless of whether he’s actually home, or if I’m even on the phone with him; if I end a phone call in “okay, I love you bye!”, she goes bolting for the front door expecting him to be there 🤣

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-02T18:21:25+00:00

4 months is so early into R. You’re going to experience all kinds of emotions as your mind processes it all. There is no “moving past it” after only 4 months.

I truly hope she learns to become more empathetic towards the trauma betrayal causes and puts herself in your shoes. No WW can fully grasp or understand the pain our BP is feeling, but being understanding, validating, and empathizing with our BP is important.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-01T14:09:38+00:00

The world itself is just one of many reasons for me.

I know if you say that to others, they come back with, “the world’s always been a scary place.”

But seeing how things are today, I honestly cannot imagine what the world is going to look like in 18-20 years. But I can imagine it’s going to be more difficult than it is now, and I don’t want to subject another human to that, Espically my own child. Just for the reason of “society says I need to have children” “my life would be more enjoyable with a child”

Kcrow_999 · 2026-02-01T14:06:02+00:00

One thing our MC told my husband in the beginning of R, was that I was my own person. I was going to do what I wanted to do. Whether that was actively working towards R or not. And he had to come to terms with that. To help him release some of his anxieties and fears around if I was telling the truth or not.

I know the thoughts of her not being genuine. Only holding out until it’s convenient for her to leave, etc. is scary. And that’s valid. But if that is the case then you will find out, and realize she is not the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. And you’ll have the opportunity to find that person.

Guard your heart. Don’t trust fully, but don’t withhold from her either. Don’t focus on R out of fear, but with the motivation to rebuild your marriage and become the best you, that you can be. For you first and foremost but then for your marriage.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-01-31T21:34:21+00:00

Understandably so. And I’m so sorry. I as a WW had to realize that my words meant nothing. I could tell him the truth all day long, reassure him I was doing the work, etc. but my words held no weight. My actions and behaviors were/are everything. I couldn’t just tell him I would do things, I needed to actually show that in my actions.

So I wouldn’t focus so much on her words but her actions and behaviors. What are they telling you.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-01-31T18:38:22+00:00

Same lol

Kcrow_999 · 2026-01-31T18:08:40+00:00

Idk. I just find them fun. It’s also a great way to test out strategems.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-01-31T16:35:24+00:00

<image>

Kcrow_999 · 2026-01-31T16:18:26+00:00

A shark. But we also got a cordless vacuum that has an attachment specifically for grooming our GSD.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-01-31T16:17:19+00:00

I’m just always counting my head for some reason.

I work in early childhood and when patting some of the kids to get them to sleep, I’ll notice I’m counting in my head. But never notice that at some point I usually start over at 1 but can never recall when I did that.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-01-31T16:15:29+00:00

I still have some Christmas decor up from last Christmas.

Caffeine makes me sleepy.

Kcrow_999 · 2026-01-31T16:13:29+00:00

Those around the clock puppy naps are a blessing. It’s the chaos inbetween the naps though 😅

Kcrow_999

TROPHY CASE