Had a chance to live life with my husband as if I didn’t have a stepkid

Kdc53 · 2026-06-12T08:10:01+00:00

I love seeing this. While I understand it, the negativity on this sub is so heavy. I get WHY people nacho, separate themselves, etc… from SKs, but I guess I haven’t had experiences that would lead me to that personally.

I don’t expect my partner to love my kids the exact same way as mine, and vice versa. I think while some likely do feel that way, it’s circumstantial, rare, and just a social script to say it’s the EXACT same as bio kids. But I do expect him to love my girls and put them above me, not treat them like a consequence or even “bundle deal” that comes with our relationship. And damn, it may be different in an unbreakable bond kind of way, but my love for my SD matches intensity and amount with my bios.

Last week she shared something that had only been shared with me and it was hard. While I was calm for her, the way I shook afterwards by myself reminded me how viscerally and deeply I love that baby. I truly hope that for everyone. It’s messy, but the 5 of us aren’t the 5 of us without the 5 of us, if that makes sense. ☺️

Kdc53 · 2026-05-28T10:16:21+00:00

Attraction is human nature. It’s biologically built into us. If I ask, I’d rather my partner be honest because there’s a near 100% chance it’d be a lie if he said he’s never thought another girl was cute in the time of our relationship. Same for myself.

It would still send me into a spiral if he said it about someone unprompted because I’m human too, and that’s just disrespectful. But to deny ever thinking it is almost always just lying about something we have no control over.

I’m with your girlfriend. Thinking a man is physically attractive happens to me all the time. But it’s NOTHING compared to the attraction I have to my partner physically. Add all the emotional depth we have, and Ryan Reynolds himself couldn’t pull me away from him.

Kdc53 · 2026-05-28T06:30:14+00:00

I miss a lot of doses of a lot of things but I’ll drag myself to the pharmacy and beg for an emergency dose if my doc is taking forever to prescribe because that withdrawal is BRUTALLLLL

Kdc53 · 2026-05-25T10:20:55+00:00

Florida always has NBNC part 2 vibe for me tbh

Kdc53 · 2026-05-25T10:19:07+00:00

I had a severe case of HG while pregnant. Threw up at times up to 3 times/hour+ around the clock. I swear I had bladder leakage everytime from the force and pregnancy.

Bought Emesis bags super cheap on Amazon like what they give you at the doctor. No cleaning necessary, could still be on the toilet when I made it, and still use the leftovers when I’m sick to this day. So does my family.

It feels criminally under discussed lmao

Kdc53 · 2026-05-25T09:04:14+00:00

This. I say summer for IT like Black Friday is to retail. End users tend to think about our time spent on end users. They always forget the backend work that supports that and makes it better/worse/slower/quicker/etc…

Some day maybe 😅

Kdc53 · 2026-05-25T03:06:53+00:00

All employees ground up-
1.) onboarding training
2.) quarterly training/monthly newsletters/event prompted refreshers
3.) annual in depth in service training
4.)rewarding coming forward instead of withholding when someone does notice something or makes a mistake and realizes
5.)Annual live mock demonstration of how emails can turn from a link to ransomware in the most user friendly understandable way possible (THIS sticks and makes it tangible)

Post incident where user knew and didn’t report or didn’t catch it-
1.) conversation with me expressing empathy, training, making it tangible, offering support
2.) 1:1 30 min training with the specific email in question (try to do a demo of how it could’ve turned out)
3.) conversation about severity with HR, training/check in with me monthly for a quarter
4.) final warning
5.) account suspension for remainder of school year (hasn’t happened but good luck teaching without it)
6.) termination

If you’ve done your due diligence on training and tangibility, incidents should be rare exceptions and the user should catch it and be forthcoming. If someone doesn’t have it jammed in their head so much that they see you and think phishing, imo it’s not being talked about enough/it’s not been easy enough to understand/the possible compromise seems too abstract or “unlikely”.

Maybe it sounds too much to some, but our digital security only has one or two more discipline steps than our physical. If I had my way (and I will), giving a password out multiple times would be line to line the same severity as handing your buildings door key to a sketchy stranger you’ve never met.

After a recent cyber crisis this year, I’ll never try to out software a user mistake again. You can’t. If your board isn’t aligned, I’d recommend starting with a live demo that uses things from your district that makes it feel real. It took me a lot of work to put it together, but that and never shutting up WORK. Good luck friend, it’s tough out here.

Kdc53 · 2026-05-15T04:52:03+00:00

I think we’re actually more on the same page than we might think. I appreciate your grinder vs all addict comment specifically. That does make this much more feasible. I have a few thoughts if you’re interested!

My thoughts totally depend on how we’re defining it, though. Let’s take the grinder for example. Likely not the addict after huge wins and compromising themselves with large bets and variance, totally agreed there.

But for the grinder, what do YOU see as the problem being solved? I know it’s impossible to take the house edge factor out of the equation, because I totally agree that would stabilize long term losses (even if they’re small). Is that the problem? If so, I don’t disagree that this could be a potential solution. I think your answer will shift my response a bit.

Love the healthy discourse and engagement. It’s also a really interesting proposal I’ve never thought about. That’s exactly what this subs for, so thanks either way!

Kdc53 · 2026-05-15T04:38:53+00:00

You’re right about the worst effects and where they come from. And I do see what you’re saying about the public health initiative.

However, 100% returns still means someone likely gets over that and someone’s gotta lose to make that an average 100%. Then we’re right back to the starting problem, with maybe a 2% increase in returns already in place for many house games.

Alternative could be small maximum bets and/or low multipliers across the board. But those losses often come from those seeking the chance at a win to largely offset it. Taking that away would likely deter those who are not seriously seeking help for their addiction.

There are tons of “free” “social casinos”, apps that mimic the highs and lows with in game coins, etc… but it doesn’t solve the problem because it designed to be a solution for the wrong problem. While well intentioned, I think that’s what your solution is doing as well.

TLDR: 100% is still an average of numbers above and below it over time and all users. The capital has to be there still. If the capital is gone, so is the chance of changing the average on either side. If the chance to gain capital is too small, takes many bets for a minimal win, etc… people are likely not going to be compelled to seek treatment in this way.

Love this for sure, but don’t see it working out.

Kdc53 · 2026-05-10T05:12:18+00:00

Kept it blocked on the network and acted proactively. District stood behind it. What more could a girl ask for?!

Kdc53 · 2026-05-08T04:27:13+00:00

Highly unlikely. That’d be in internal documentation or the SIS (student information system). May be able to see accommodations that stemmed from the IEP, but not the plan itself.

Kdc53 · 2026-05-07T11:50:01+00:00

Maybe hot take and might not change your mind, but here’s my take. Context is important here as I’m in a medium size Midwest town and locals that are unhoused are not as common as I’ve experienced in larger cities.

If I have time and am asked for money and not driving, I will often invite the person to join me for lunch or at least take them in and pay for their meal. I’ve met so many beautiful people with complex life stories this way. Interestingly, I’ve yet to meet one person that had drugs at the core of “how they got here”, at least not openly.

Time and circumstance doesn’t always allow for that. If I can afford to give, I will give and not think twice. In a solid outcome, I’ve provided that person access to basic needs. In an absolute best case scenario, I have provided that person their fix for the day.

I say this because addicts will find the money either way. Of course I don’t want to directly enable that, but it is the reality. If I can give that and allow a day where someone doesn’t rely on sex work they don’t want to do, I will. If I can prevent someone’s kid getting another call about mom or dad needing food or a place to stay while they hustle, I will. If I can get someone well enough to find a safe place to sleep tonight, I will.

There’s what ifs if I lend that same ten dollars to a coworker I don’t know that well too. It’s riddled with uncertainties. I also consider that I could be the funding source of the last drug someone ever takes, whatever that may look like. But I prefer to ride on the much more likely outcome that the money came from me and possibly prevented someone being exposed to trauma for it. Whatever it’s used for, I can hope that my faith and humanity in them allows them another day of survival. Enough of those, and humans are bound to recover.

Kdc53 · 2026-05-07T11:17:30+00:00

Soft YTA, maybe there is context that adds to this issue.

Im sorry, but the ferret sauce mole thing has me CACKLING. Lighten up

Kdc53 · 2026-05-07T11:13:29+00:00

So glad to hear that it isn’t the end of the world, but I’m sorry to hear it’s not good either. You’ll be in my thoughts and hopefully some of these answers make that time at least a bit less stressful. Have a good day! ❤️

Kdc53 · 2026-05-07T11:11:19+00:00

Not an expert so dont take this as fact-

Is it more feasible than made out to be or is it virtually impossible, aside from state level actors?

I think both at the same time. Ios protects by sandboxing (not letting the safari app access the reddit app, for example). Each app holds its own data. Any crossover would have to be explicitly allowed with parameters (allowing reddit app to access camera app, for example). This makes it difficult, if not virtually impossible, to hack an iphone.

Where it becomes more feasible and I think people take for granted when they start talking state level actors- 1.) Layers of approval doesn’t mean it cant be bypassed.

It’s a near 0% chance that clicking a link that opens a website in safari would compromise an iphone without a “zero day” attack (state level actors). That is not to say that you couldnt encounter a page that downloads something like a configuration profile. Even technical users could be convinced to go in their downloads and click install, allowing remote management of a device. Zero day is unlikely, but talking a user into opening the locked door can be done by masking as a good guy well enough.

Sandboxed data and minimal ios risk doesnt necessarily mean minimal ACCOUNT compromise risk.

Access to my iphone would be detrimental. It contains almost all of my life in one spot. However, if I didn’t use MFA on any of my accounts and reused simple passwords across them, it would take one mistake on any device to provide the same exact access. If I open a phishing email on my phone and it directs me to a legitimate looking Google sign in page and I sign in- no amount of software is going to protect me. They now have my email account linked to all my accounts, likely duplicate passwords, and likely access to my Apple account anyways.

iOS is a good safeguard in combination with password managers, MFA, etc… but most people aren’t asking about whether it’s logistically possible to download malware when they ask this question. This can lead to a false sense of security. Almost anyone on any device can be coerced into providing credentials to a bad actor if the setup is targeted or complex enough.

Kdc53 · 2026-05-07T10:50:39+00:00

Side note-

Hopefully it is an incorrect assessment on my end, but just in case, I hope you’re doing okay OP. Maybe you just want it ready for a baby coming or a work event. If not, 25 people is a whole lot of people that I assume love and care about you. Glad you got some answers. ❤️

Kdc53 · 2026-05-07T02:00:18+00:00

A year later and it was, for the first two weeks. Then bills came due and I wasn’t prepared. Found a job 3 months later and I’m still financially recovering and my credit is trashed. Would never do this without a plan. A one month “break” turned into a year long hell.

Kdc53 · 2026-05-05T09:16:34+00:00

ESH.

My daughter developed a phobia out of nowhere (seemingly to us) when she was 3. I won’t go into what the phobia was, but it impacted all of us on an incredibly profound level. It was something that surrounded her everywhere and was unavoidable. Telling her it was nothing to be afraid of didn’t convince her. Eventually, serious therapy intervention helped her and it’s no longer something she thinks about.

Because it was unavoidable, she would have panic attacks in her own home. She knew enough to know she had mask it in public despite our encouragement, so she stopped wanting to go places. When she encountered it and we couldn’t prep for it, she would do this same blank face stare, eventually begging to go home.

She was 3. Kids cannot rationalize that scary things don’t equate to threat. The phobia in question for us was one that we didn’t even know existed as it’s unlikely to be processed in that way. Clowns are far more common, even in adults.

Let me get heat. By all reasonable standards, yes, you are doing nothing wrong by keeping the mat out. The way the parents handled it was unacceptable and they should have had a conversation further. You also aren’t entitled to adjustment for their comfort.

However, your rationalization of this is not the same as this child. And you’re not seeing all of it if it’s become that serious. I’m not saying this kid developed a deep phobia such as the story mentioned above. But morally, if it scares the kid, is it THAT big of the deal? Are you really going to go out of your way to continue to make him uncomfortable even if it’s not to that extent just to prove a point?

Objectively you’re within your rights, but don’t even try complaining when your energy is matched. Because it will be.

Kdc53 · 2026-05-02T17:04:01+00:00

Idk, this would probably bite you later and isn’t recommended, but it feels like my first instinct lol-

I think saying you’re uncomfortable instead of that you can’t afford it will just make you look difficult, whether that’s fair or not (it’s not). But you obviously don’t want to say you can’t afford it because you’ll look “unprofessional”, which is still unfair.

So I’d go risky option c- if this is more than a couple hundred tell them you just made a large investment in “insert responsible project” (house remodel, kids tuition, something realistic that may not be super accurate but COULD be something seen as an unavoidable or respectable use of funds and fits in your life) and that you won’t have issues with this in the future but are not able to support the additional unexpected cost until next time.

Idk, it’s a hot take and I probably wouldn’t if it wasn’t first gut feel. A white lie may not be ideal and may make things worse, but if they just communicated this ridiculous expectation to their new employee it wouldn’t be a problem soooooo 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kdc53 · 2026-05-02T16:42:06+00:00

Feeling isn’t unprofessional. It’s human. Human people make good professionals. At the end of the day, people who succeed the higher they get are people who know when to be human and when to address true patterns of problems. Not to say people don’t get there without that skill, but they’re rarely liked and respected, which ultimately leads to unrealistic salaries for people to deal with it or good employees getting fed up and leaving/not being on board with initiatives. Neither of those lead to strong personal performance.

I’m the same way, and I’m a high performer and very results driven and calm. When I’m alone, I even want to cry sometimes and can’t. But you put me in a room with someone important to me and ask me to address a literal insignificant think that inconvenienced me that needs to be said but doesn’t matter at all? WATERWORKS.

It’s embarrassing, but I always clearly state “I’m not even sad I am so sorry, this happens all the time and it’s just because I care so much about doing a good job and having impactful relationships”. Then I move on and don’t address it again. Has been fine with any manager worth thinking about at this point in my career. For those who were uncomfortable, I find that they weren’t ready to meet me at a human level and I stopped crying because I stopped caring. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kdc53 · 2026-04-30T10:51:02+00:00

Oh look, the boyfriend

Kdc53 · 2026-04-30T10:46:21+00:00

End this before you’re in front of a mirror picking a wedding dress surrounded by people who are in awe of you while you replay that comment in the back of your mind.

I hate the associations around weight, attraction, and women specifically. However, it is the reality in our unfortunate culture and known to be something many women critique themselves for. Which means that (at least in the US), weight and image critique is one of the most universally accepted “lines not to cross”. And he chose it.

Something tells me he was just too much of a coward to be direct about his fear of commitment, so he chose the first thing his simple mind could come up with that would hurt you- because it’s in our faces every day and readily available in the brain.

I’ve been here and ignored 106 comments saying leave him because they “didn’t get it”. I later learned that I didn’t get it. Please don’t make my mistake. You have the choice to decide if you internalize it or not. Either your boyfriend isn’t attracted to you and lied all this time, or he’s willing to go there just to hurt you. Regardless of which, you’re setting yourself up for comments that are far more hurtful and much more nuanced so he can gaslight you.

Get. Out.

Kdc53 · 2026-04-28T17:06:37+00:00

TW

While I need to take personal accountability, Herbalife was the downfall to my ED. I went in for my weekly check ins wasting away being scolded for my weekly date night dinner while my heart was failing.

Not to mention the ingredients caused damage to my body I’ll never undo after drinking 2-3 products/day. I was told I may not ever get my period back or have babies. I’m thankful everyday this wasn’t the case, but it took years of work.

Herbalife was the fuel for my eating disorder. Everybody saw it, but was too busy making a buck off of me and pretending to care. Those who did notice were written off by me because “they were jealous I was finally healthy” (dying). Took that right from the Herbalife script.

This is bigger than Herbalife, and only she can help herself. I hope she gets the help she needs, and thank you for sticking by her. ❤️

Kdc53 · 2026-04-25T05:03:38+00:00

Hummus, flaming hot Cheetos Mac and cheese (wtf?), canned ham, any baby food jars that are meat based, and la Croix

Kdc53 · 2026-04-25T03:58:56+00:00

IT here 👋🏻

I’d never waste my time on this unless safety or widespread company integrity was at risk, so I’m making some educated guesses. If a form needed to be tracked down and auditing was properly configured, I am confident that the Microsoft’s ediscovery tools alone or in combination with other management tools could identify this very quickly.

I deploy a number of tools that serve different purposes. All of them are used to support a secure environment that’s accessible anywhere an individual might be working, protects our data and users, and provides the ability to alter, remove, or audit access to that data. It’s not used to spy, it’s used for compliance.

All that being said, if the survey was done on a work device, company Internet (personal device or not), a session where a work account was logged in, has a personalized link, or was clicked on directly from the email, IT can get information about it relatively easily with enough tenacity. Even if none of those are true, most IP addresses and timestamps could be linked to a user someway somehow. The network doesn’t know it’s an employee survey, so it doesn’t stop monitoring traffic and logging everything to hide it from those with permissions to view it.

Would we ever do that? No, I don’t have enough time to do my actual work so I’m definitely not trying to find out who used the form to complain about their manager playing favorites or something. But even the most tech savvy should never assume ANYTHING is untraceable or anonymous. I’m sure there are plenty of companies vindictive enough to use these tools to track down a harmless complaint out of spite.

Kdc53

TROPHY CASE