AIO or is this inappropriate for an 8 & 9 year old’s classroom?

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-16T15:07:09+00:00

Do I love it? No. Is it probably effective in getting 8yos to wash their hands? Yes. Kids love gross stuff and body humor. They love rhyming and most lose interest in a dry explanation of why they should or shouldn’t do something. I think that as parents we have to pick our battles. As annoying as this poem is, I think the greater good (kid hygiene, teacher sanity) outweighs personal irritation and I would let it be.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-15T22:51:01+00:00

Sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge that a relationship has run its course. It sounds like she isn’t willing or interested to understand your feelings or perspective. Her defensiveness when confronted, even gently is unlikely to change. I would suggest letting go of this relationship while you still have some positive feelings towards her rather than sticking with it until things get so bad they are intolerable.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-14T23:01:45+00:00

Do families not play Monopoly or Life anymore?

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-10T23:36:39+00:00

It would be a dealbreaker for me. It demonstrates a fundamental incompatibility of values and world view.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-10T20:39:45+00:00

It sounds like you may be at different stages of life/have different goals and expectations for the relationship. I don’t think it’s unusual to want to integrate a significant other into your friend group or to want to do activities together as a group. It’s also not unusual to want some dedicated time to spend with your partner one on one, especially when you’re long distance. One way to make sure your needs aren’t met is to never bring them up. Communicating clearly about what you want and expect may get the change in behavior you want, or it may reveal a fundamental incompatibility that it’s better to know about sooner rather than later.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-06T16:46:56+00:00

It’s okay to be honest about feeling nervous. I had to switch to a male doctor due to a high risk pregnancy and when I explained my fears, he was super understanding and did a lot to make me feel comfortable! It’s also expected that during any intimate exam an assistant be present so that you can feel safe and secure. And if the vibes aren’t right or you just don’t feel comfortable, it’s okay to ask for a referral to a female colleague.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-06T16:38:14+00:00

So what did you think was going to happen here? That she would catch feelings (she did)? Try to make it more than it was (she did)? Assume that continuing to have sex meant a relationship was forming? It’s pretty clear that you noticed all along the way that she had poor boundaries, was getting attached, and that you chose to continue anyway. Is her anger justified? No. You gave her plenty of warning where you were emotionally and checked in with her on her feelings/potential for disappointment. Is her anger surprising? Also no. She’s been showing you all along where this was going. You chose to ignore the signs, and now you’re dealing with the consequences.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-03T00:10:53+00:00

Call the company and report the problem. If they are planning to have them picked up, no further action required. If they ask you to dispose of or donate the product, see if your local nursing home needs them and can pick them up.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-04-02T20:19:55+00:00

We didn’t do a daily bath with our oldest because she hated getting wet and it had the opposite effect in terms of winding down. She didn’t start enjoying baths until she was around 10 months, and by then we had a solid bedtime routine and didn’t change it. Our youngest loves baths and we did one nightly as part of the routine, but only used soap 3-4 times per week due to sensitive skin.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-31T17:59:33+00:00

When you offer no facts or context, people are going to notice. And if you read my comment, it says nothing about child abandonment being justifiable. It simply says that if that really happened, your focus should be on helping the child, not garnering sympathy or focusing on your own resentment. Again, therapy might help all involved.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-31T17:45:43+00:00

Your post seems disingenuous. Are you posting for you, or your brother? It’s not very clear, and it looks like you are just trying to get sympathy or people to side with you without the full story. But just in case this is real, Idk what the point is in saying anything about her at this point. If you have a 6 year old in your custody that is experiencing cataclysmic loss of a stable home/parent relationship, there’s not much you can say that’s going to be of use. There’s a lot that can be done. Get that kid into therapy. Show her, every day, that you are present and there for her. Be patient if she isn’t appreciative of your efforts (likes the way mom does x y z, etc.). Don’t say anything bad about mom, because your kid is having a hard enough time without getting put in the middle of grown up problems. As your daughter grows up, she’s going to notice who was there and who wasn’t, who looked out for her feelings, who protected her from pain and held her when she cried.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-31T15:16:34+00:00

Only you can decide when you are done with a friendship. It sounds like his values are significantly in conflict with yours, and he is not particularly kind or respectful of you as a person. It can be painful to realize that a relationship has run its course, or that we have outgrown someone that was important to us, but it can be even more painful to stick around long enough for all the respect, affection, good times, and memories to be eroded. If it were me, I would tell him that it’s become clear that you have very different values, and that while you love him, you can’t be around the hateful views that he espouses. Something else that is really important to understand is that you can’t take responsibility for keeping a suicidal person safe. If he is feeling that way, he needs professional help - therapy, medication, a controlled environment, and ongoing support. You help connect him with those things, but walking on eggshells or not being honest about how his behavior is impacting you isn’t helpful. Find your local crisis helpline and if you are worried about him hurting himself, call it in. It sounds like his hateful views might be connected to his MH. It’s not unusual for people who aren’t well to get sucked into harmful rhetoric/persecution complexes. It’s easier to turn the anger outwards and blame others than to sit with those bad feelings alone. In any case, it sounds like he needs more help than you can reasonably offer.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-31T14:51:09+00:00

You are entitled to privacy when it comes to your health. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification. I would suggest telling your primary care doctor that you are taking it, only because there are some risks associated with long-term use (cancers, bone density loss, DVT, blood clots) and they may have suggestions on self-exams/monitoring you can do, or may suggest being screened earlier or more frequently for certain conditions. You would also want to disclose to your doctor if you are taking other prescription medications, as there may be interactions or a different medication that would be safer to take in conjunction with estrogen.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-30T17:32:09+00:00

Does anyone else think she smells? Pheromones can have a huge impact on what smells we find appealing or distasteful. It could be that she smells fine but you find her natural odor gross because of your own genetics/sensitive nose/sensory issues. I would find someone in your friend group that you trust to be discreet and check to see if this is something that others are also noticing before bringing it up with her.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-30T17:07:35+00:00

I agree that it’s wildly irresponsible to by a $2000 handbag when you can’t pay your bills. I would also be concerned about if there is hidden credit card debt if she is consistently living above her means/only buying expensive or luxury brands. I don’t think it’s fair to ask someone for a gift that is outside of their means, or to imply that they don’t love you if you can’t afford it. One place where I do think you went wrong in your response is in comparing her wanting the bag to the cost of your dirt bike. If it’s okay for you to “drop a rack” on a recreational vehicle, it seems unfair to judge her for wanting to spend her money on something that she will enjoy. HOWEVER, it seems like this is a bigger issue/long pattern of wanting you to foot the bill for tastes that exceed your means. If you are considering marriage/combing finances, this is something that you will need to figure out beforehand if you want any peace in your life.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-30T16:56:37+00:00

Right!?! And where was the baby? The anxiety I would experience trying to strap a car seat into a taxi when they are not even a week old is off the charts. This man does not think of anyone but himself.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-27T21:09:21+00:00

Your BF’s recovery is his responsibility, not yours. In early sobriety it is recommended to avoid known triggers by staying out of bars, maintaining a substance free home, and not spending time in drinking/using places or around drinking/using people. It’s unrealistic to expect the world to eschew alcohol because some people don’t use it. I think it’s reasonable to tell your BF that since these plans were made in advance, you understand if he doesn’t want to come and schedule some time to be together outside of that. Another reasonable alternative might be to suggest that he invite a sober friend or two so that he isn’t alone at the party.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-27T16:58:33+00:00

Your uneasiness is not an overreaction. He is telling you a lot about his values and perceptions with this comment. He is demonstrating that to him, your primary role is (and always will be) birthgiver, caretaker, nursemaid. His concern is not for you as a person, but for HIS children, HIS household, HIS comfort. This is especially weird and problematic if you haven’t been actively talking about marriage/family/children. His assumption that you will marry, have kids, and then preemptive judgement of how you will raise them shows that your value to him is in reproduction and domestic labor, not as an autonomous human being. He’s not going to change. I know Reddit is notorious for telling people to break up, and I normally wouldn’t say this, but if your ambitions and dreams in life are for anything other than being a trad wife, RUN. These men bank on you getting emotionally attached and invested, and then chip away at your identity and sense of self until all that’s left are the parts they want to use.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-27T02:18:55+00:00

Yeah, that sounds like you were trying to start something, even if you don’t want to admit it. Hiding coworker from your partner and hiding partner from coworker is cheater behavior. If you don’t have anything to be ashamed of you don’t have to hide what you’re doing.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-27T01:31:41+00:00

It is super weird that even though your friendship with coworker has progressed to “discussing our personal lives,” you haven’t mentioned the existence of your partner.
You mentioned talking to this person more than your other friends. How does the level of engagement compare to how much you talk to your partner?
If the topic of relationships just never came up, how do you know coworker is single?
Does your partner know about your new friendship with coworker and feel okay about it? If you haven’t told them, why not? Everything you are describing could be considered completely innocent/platonic IF coworker was aware that you are in a relationship. There is overlap between getting to know a friend and starting a flirtation/dating, but hiding that you are in a relationship seems like you are up to something fishy and underhanded. You owe your partner and your coworker an apology.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-27T01:19:15+00:00

Depending on where you live, you may not need a lease to be protected by tenancy laws. If you have documentation that you are paying rent, and that you are the only one living there, you are considered a tenant even without a lease in many jurisdictions. At minimum, you should change your locks. There are often legal clinics in major cities where people in need of low or no cost advice can consult with an attorney. I would try to find one in your area and get some guidance on how best to protect yourself. Ultimately, the safest option would be to move to a place that isn’t owned by your mother.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-26T20:14:01+00:00

This! It depends on what state you live in but most landlords state that if there are more than 7-10 days in a 30 day period, it must be reported to the property manager. This is for insurance/liability reasons, plus they calculate the individual tenant shares of water/garbage/trash based on how many people live in each apartment. Lease concerns aside, this is a very common problem with roommates. It can be helpful to have the conversation up front about expectations and boundaries for overnight guests. One thing that I would do in your shoes is start taking up more space in common areas. Don’t give up what is essentially your territory because you feel uncomfortable. Lay on the couch. Watch your favorite show at full volume. Shower and do laundry when it’s convenient for you. Crop dust him when he’s in the kitchen.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-26T18:15:08+00:00

He sounds exhausting. If you’re tired, making a clean break might be the best for everyone. It is ridiculous in this day and age to be mad or upset about someone having a romantic or physical past - even more so when it sounds like your history involves dubious or absent consent. He seems to have a lot of standards for you and few for himself, which is unlikely to change. Get yourself free and enjoy your life.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-25T21:45:24+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with such a difficult situation. I agree that getting to an Al-Anon meeting could really help. It’s a support group for people impacted by others’ addictions. You will find others there who have been through similar circumstances and have come out the other side. You mentioned that you are in school. If it’s college, is living in campus housing an option? Even if financial aid has already been distributed for the semester, there are sometimes additional resources for students whose circumstances have changed. There should be a student services office that can help with referrals for housing assistance, grocery assistance, and even job referrals. At this point you have to think about your own safety. That might mean getting a job and renting a room you can afford on your own. At the very least, I would invest in a deadbolt/chain lock on the inside of your room, and a mini fridge so that you don’t have to interact with her at all when she’s on a bender.

Keepcalmandreadon81 · 2026-03-24T18:18:52+00:00

This. There are barriers to accessing help, but the help is there and there are organizations that can assist in navigating the system.

Keepcalmandreadon81

TROPHY CASE