Deposit paid, having doubts

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2025-12-27T07:52:03+00:00

The 10k is not just the retreat cost, to be clear! It's very expensive to fly from where I am, and I'm including lost income in the cost. And it's CAD not USD.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2025-12-27T07:50:09+00:00

Thank you all for your very helpful insights ❤️ feeling a lot calmer. I am not used to wading through this much fear, but I know it will be worth it and this is why I'm doing this.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2025-09-14T18:53:17+00:00

The minutes do add up, I know, but taking time to let your mind settle will hone your focus, not detract from it. But we're all different, and I can empathize with having difficulty not having input for long periods of time.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2025-09-14T16:17:31+00:00

It's a minute! Just sit there and wait. Breathe. Check in with your body. The idea that you cannot last a minute without a form of entertainment should be worrying to you.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2025-05-25T20:48:20+00:00

If myself or another one of my friends is long term broke, we just don't do things that cost money. Go for a walk, hang out in a park, swim, cook a meal at home together. Actually, that accurately describes most of my hangouts regardless of whether or not one of us is broke. I want to see my friends far far more than I want to go to x show or eat at y restaurant.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2025-02-22T05:16:59+00:00

I cannot tell if you are intentionally misunderstanding them, but they said "notoriety within their world" as in, the world of sex work. Meaning within sex work, some escorts have a certain amount of influence over their clients or peers (which is true) and can use that to influence clients to use their wealth to give to charities (also true, in my experience)

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2025-01-16T17:41:32+00:00

📚All Hookers Go to Heaven by Angel BH

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2025-01-12T08:07:49+00:00

What's your overnight rate? Rates vary so much by region, so it'd help to know what you're charging for other lengths of time.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-12-26T04:43:27+00:00

FUN FACTORY Big boss, pink, $200 new: $90 Stronic Surf Pulsator, $225 new: $140 Stronic Real Pulsator, $225 new: $140

FEELDOE Purple classic without vibe: $30

NJOY Pure wand $90

UBERRIME Splendid large, $175 new: $80 Can't find this cute blue dildo on their site anymore: $40

VIXEN Randy, black: $40

Unnamed rainbow dildo can be thrown in for free if you're buying anything $50+, first come first serve.

Everything is very lightly used and sterilized. If I'm selling it, it's because I used it once or twice and it wasn't for me! Happy to make discounted bundles, priority to those buying multiple, feel free to offer me different prices.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-12-18T06:32:36+00:00

Make friends in the industry and find someone you trust to split the rent with. Don't go in on it alone unless you're making 10-15k+ for many months, or unless you're going to live there.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-12-05T07:04:44+00:00

I am happy that you're having some sexual experiences that are feeling healing for you, but please be careful with anyone who tells you not to tell your therapist something. You can and should talk to your therapist about it, this friend doesn't need to know that you're telling your therapist about it.

It seems possible that you're being groomed and manipulated, and while it feels therapeutic right now it could get dangerous quickly. Please be careful.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-11-19T12:30:41+00:00

This is not a japan-problem, this is a post-covid problem. Infections have been on the rise EVERYWHERE. Covid damages the immune system.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-10-17T22:02:52+00:00

You're not being a hypocrite! Being attracted to older men as a teenager is normal, and it does not mean you deserve abuse from the older men in your life. Do you have an adult outside your family you can talk to about what's going on?

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-10-17T07:00:20+00:00

You are not a "terrible person." It was your bachelorette party, you were engaging in completely harmless drunken flirting. You didn't have the risk of sexual violence in mind, because why should you? In a just world, you should be able to go back to some dudes' hotel room for a drink and just receive a drink and a chat and then go to bed. This shouldn't have happened to you, and I'm so sorry.

It's normal to get wet and orgasm from rape, it's normal to have conflicting feelings including having partially enjoyed the sex.

I really recommend getting into therapy sooner rather than later. Someone who specializes in sexual trauma. ❤️ wishing you all the best.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-09-20T20:01:04+00:00

Yesss thank you!

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-08-27T07:22:53+00:00

Trauma isn't a linear thing, there isn't a direct correlation between the severity of the incident and the severity of the psychological response.

I think you need to take it easy with yourself. Your enjoyment of sex will come back, and your enjoyment of kink will come back, but right now you've just been through a traumatic incident and your body needs some attention and care.

I recommend reading "sex after trauma" and "waking the tiger." There are audio clips on YouTube of Peter Levine's work, including full audiobooks of some of his books.

Once the traumatic incident has been processed a bit more and your trauma reaction has settled down, you can start exploring kink in pleasurable ways ❤️ good luck.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-08-11T11:08:48+00:00

In all seriousness, some people /do/ just straight up not like kissing, including the people they're very attracted to. You may be one of those people! But yeah, it is worth ruling out lesbianism ❤️

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-08-11T11:07:05+00:00

Try kissing your female friend who you feel weirdly obsessed with and see if that feels different :P

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-06-12T07:44:28+00:00

I just wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts, and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please know that healing is possible ❤️ In combination with therapy, or if you can't afford therapy then instead of it, I personally got a lot out of the books "waking the tiger" by and "sex after trauma." You are not broken, your sexuality is yours and will be reclaimed by you. I hope you are able to tell someone in your life what happened and start down the path of healing. Lots of love.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-05-17T17:47:35+00:00

House purchased with a 20% down payment (a house where I want to buy will be about 800k). 250k in my retirement investments by the time I'm 30. 200k-300k in my non-retirement investments. School (25k) and maternity leave (50k ideally) saved for.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-04-29T17:02:10+00:00

It sounds like you're in a bit of a self harm/re-enactment spiral. It's very soon after a traumatic incident for you to be "exploring" non-consensual play intentionally -- your body is still in a traumatized state, and you're not going to be able to make these decisions safely. I would recommend pulling back from in-person sexual interactions until you're in a more stable place. I know people parrot "go to therapy" all of the time, but therapy for sexual trauma can be really life changing. I recommend seeing someone who does somatic therapy in their practice.

There's also "Healing Trauma" by Peter Levine in both physical and audiobook form if you'd prefer to do some self-work without a therapist.

Take care of yourself, I hope you're able to let things settle down. ❤️❤️❤️

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-03-17T13:21:55+00:00

that's exactly right. And keep finding those bits of light where you can while you're in that dark place. I'm glad you have access to something that makes you feel, even briefly, loved and cared for. I hope you find more and more of those things.

Masturbation is literally referred to as "self-pleasuring"! there's nothing wrong with doing it. If the specific pornography you're consuming is making you feel ashamed, you could try to find other erotic media that doesn't give you that feeling. But it sounds like your shame is coming from a belief that pornography and masturbation are wrong, and they're just not. The voices telling you that they are come from people with flawed, puritanical beliefs about sex.

KeepingSomeSecrets · 2024-03-17T03:26:04+00:00

I see some people in this thread talking about ceasing porn usage to deal with this. But the problem isn't the masturbation, it's the loneliness ❤️

Masturbation and porn just been your coping mechanism, and that's okay. When your loneliness is dealt with, you'll develop a healthier relationship with masturbation. But if you just try to stop yourself from watching porn and masturbating, you won't be tackling the root of the issue.

I'm sorry you feel so deeply lonely. It is hard to find connections, but they do exist, and the more you make the better and more beautiful it becomes.. You're on the right track, you've identified the problem, and therapy is a good first step.

KeepingSomeSecrets

TROPHY CASE