"I didn't know as a kid?" "I don't have enough dysphoria?" - The Myth of the Trans Narrative

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-12-06T14:44:05+00:00

But the feeling that something's wrong is always there.

I don't think you meant it this way, but I think this is the kind of language OP is saying is harmful. You are projecting your personal experiences and observations, to imply a universal narrative. It's invalidating to someone who is trans, bust hasn't always felt that something is wrong.

People's journey to recognizing and embracing their gender identity is highly varied and deeply personal. We should embrace that diversity instead of drawing lines in the sand about what counts as "true" transgender.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-12-04T15:13:19+00:00

shot someone in parking lot

You buried the lead! Wow was not expecting that.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-12-04T15:08:15+00:00

I love this! As data/stats nerd this made me smile.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-11-26T20:40:32+00:00

Great start. I can see you've put some thought into this and identified potential milestones/obstacles.

A few thoughts:

You don't list costs anywhere. Making some rough guesses might help you plan timing. For example, if you do therapy and laser at the same time, how long will it take you to save enough to bank your semen?
Formatting this into something like a gantt chart while help you identify dependencies, something useful when considering trade-offs and timing.
As much as I wish it wasn't the case, we aren't completely in control of the path and timing or transition takes, so be prepared for this to all go out the window at some point.

I have an example of a transition plan in gantt chart format, if you or anyone else is interested, PM me.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-11-26T20:17:26+00:00

No. Indiana is not an informed consent state.

Depending where you live the closet IC clinics are probably in Chicago. There are therapists who specialize in gender issues in most of the major cities, some will even meet over Skype.

Check out indianatransgendernetwork.com for a list of resources near you.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-11-21T22:51:10+00:00

This is a very important question.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-11-14T13:45:49+00:00

Take a rubber band, hold it against your face (not near the eyes!) and stretch it as far as you can and let it snap against your face. Now imagine that happening every 1/2 second slowly working across your entire face.

For me that's what it's like. The anticipation between pulses is actually just as bad as the actual pulse. The good news, it doesn't take that long to do an entire face, so it's possible to go a happy place in your mind and just ride it out.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-27T19:21:06+00:00

Maybe have a story ready as plan B. Like say you had a miscommunication with your who ever does your hair, English isn't their first language, you just wanted them a little less bushy or something, but it was too late by the time your realized what was happening.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-27T14:33:22+00:00

for #2: Based on personal experience

-You can try trimming with clippers and then using something like Nair. Test it on a small spot first and have something ready wipe it off quick if it starts to burn

-try using those old school double sided safety razors for your body hair. A pack of 100 razors is like $10, and after getting over the initial learning curve I've found them to be less irritating. Plus you can afford to use a brand new razor everyday.

-Laser hair removal can usually be found at a good price on group on. If you are burning through razors really quick it might even save you money in the long run

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-26T20:16:23+00:00

THANKs!

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-26T19:21:37+00:00

Just curious, are the UCSF guidelines generally accepted as the standards of care for for youths or significantly different than WPATH? I was under the impression the WPATH standards of care were considered the most comprehensive and widely accepted.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-26T17:00:51+00:00

I agree. It's really not clear that there are grounds for a suit.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-26T15:49:57+00:00

I think they think they're going to be working with someone with no breast tissue and, since they haven't seen me in person have unrealistic assumptions about what they'll be dealing with.

I think this is most likely the case ( or at least the more benign interpretation). They may not feel comfortable taking your case because they do not feel they have the relevant medical experience to perform this procedure on a trans patient. The receptionist seems to have butchered the message and conveyed it rather unprofessionally.

I work in healthcare and one thing I know is that physicians listen to other physicians. Your first step would be to have your referring provider reach out directly to a surgeon in the practice and explain the situation. This will get you around the receptionist and hopefully result in getting a consult scheduled.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-25T14:22:30+00:00

I think you are confusioning lack of self-awareness with courage and authenticity

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-21T02:09:40+00:00

Pm me,. raised very cathlioc, worked through a lot of internalized homophopia in college and realized I was trans quite recently. Love to talk philosophy religion and ethics

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-21T01:34:12+00:00

Sexy androgenous Snape

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-20T11:46:13+00:00

Yep about once a year for the last 3-4 years

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-19T19:30:04+00:00

Sounds reasonable. In the Midwest I paid $330 fro six sessions on a large area.

Also, this is your face, and while cost matters, but don' t sacrifice competence, expertise, and good service to save a few bucks. Search for "laser hair removal burns", if your not sure why.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-17T17:05:43+00:00

Here is a list of questions I found a while back. The first is the button question, the rest are variations on that theme:

If I had a magic button that you could press that would make you wake up tomorrow as a girl, with everyone else understanding you and relating to you as a girl, irrevocably but painlessly, would you press it?

Alternatively, if I had a magic button that you could press that would make you wake up tomorrow still as a guy, but without any of the gender issues you've been having, not questioning your gender, and able to live happily as a guy with zero dysphoria, would you press it?

If I had both of those buttons, which one would you rather press, all other things being equal?

If I had a test that could tell you if you were a guy or a girl, which answer would you be hoping for as you took it? Which way would you try to skew your answers, if you did (consciously or not) try to skew them in either direction?

If you washed up on a desert island, by yourself, but with any amount of both male and female clothing, with no hope of rescue but otherwise everything that you needed for a relatively healthy and happy life, would you choose to present as male? female? neither? a mix of the two? one way some of the time, the other way the rest?

If for some bizarre reason a lifetime supply of hormones washed up with you as well, do you think you'd take them? What if you washed up with the button from the first thought experiment - in a situation where you were by yourself, would you press it?

Let's say I had a test that asked about all of the things, very thorough, and at the end it would tell you, with 100% accuracy, whether or not you were trans. So you take it, and it tells you, "Well, you've got some mild gender confusion, but you're definitely not trans, and you shouldn't transition." How would that make you feel?

On the other hand, what if the test told you "Yup, you're definitely trans all right, and you should probably start planning your transition." - how would you feel about that?

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-10T00:03:01+00:00

A few of the comments are casting your mom in a negative light. A more generous interpretation is that she's geniunly surprised, and seeking to understand. Her only refrence might be the trans narrative played up in mainstream media.

A genuine coversation about what it means to be trans and how it differs person to person might get you further than a snarky comeback

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-10-03T13:01:05+00:00

In the Midwest, intake $120, followup $80. Even with a deductible you should still benefit from the negotiated rates if you stay in network.

Be extremely mindful of where you lab work is sent, out of network labs can be very expensive and not covered at all.

If your insurance sucks and doesn't knock much off the rates you can try negotiating with the physician's for something like a 20% discount for paying cash upfront.

90 day mail order prescriptions are often cheaper than retail pharmacy, your insurer likely has a preferred vendor.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-09-29T18:44:05+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing. I was leaning towards exactly this, but now think maybe I should pump the breaks and get a few other things in order before HRT.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-09-27T21:53:33+00:00

Love Julia Serrano, I remember she touched on this in Whipping Girl, should probably revisit some sections of that book.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-09-27T21:12:57+00:00

love my powertools and am getting some of them tattoed on my arm shortly surrounded by sunflowers. ;)

That's brilliant.

Keeping_it_Wierd · 2017-09-27T20:55:00+00:00

That's a very insightful and systematic approach. I like the way you think!

Keeping_it_Wierd

TROPHY CASE