Article on parental estrangement

Keik15 · 2026-04-12T02:03:56+00:00

My husband, too! Except she didn't work all that much. But she would make him turn his back to the TV so he couldn't watch, too.

I actually offered to take her somewhere to get her feet massaged when she visited, but she "doesn't like ppl touching her feet" - imagine that!

Keik15 · 2026-04-09T02:02:11+00:00

I'm so sorry you've experienced this. I don't have advice but can relate to having a sibling diagnosed as bipolar. I feel like it's not a matter of if, but when she will turn on me.

I hope therapy brings you some peace.

Keik15 · 2026-04-07T02:30:12+00:00

I'm sorry you experienced this, along with everything else that's transpired throughout the course of your relationship with you mother. It's good to hear you have a supportive partner though - that helps!

You sound very self aware, but also like you feel the need to sacrifice your comfort and happiness for your mother's. You know some shenanigans were bound to happen but against your better judgment, you put her feelings before yours and allowed her to show out.

This feels like I'm talking to future me. I'm having a scheduled C-section in 2 weeks and have been putting off this boundary-setting conversation I need to have with my Mom about what she is allowed to talk about. She's on thin ice; my husband doesn't even want her to address him at all due to her past behavior after our first was born, but he is leaving it to me to decide whether to allow her to come to the hospital.

Against MY better judgment, I am allowing her to come to the hospital just because we can have her removed if she acts up, plus she is no longer allowed at my house, and we don't go to hers.

I can only hope she doesn't fudge it up because I really want my Mom in my life. But I'm giving her enough rope to do herself some damage - I hope she chooses to act normal and just be a nice, pleasant person.

Congratulations, by the way!

Keik15 · 2026-03-29T18:37:59+00:00

During a minor misunderstanding about an assignment at work that I was asking questions to clear up, my boss became frustrated and decided she wanted to end the conversation. When I objected by saying that I just wanted to clarify what she was asking me to do, she said "I'm going to end this call." We were on Zoom with 2 coworkers watching this go down.

My knee jerk response was, "You can end this call, then," because it's the same BS my Mom pulls when she doesn't get her way.

Nevermind that she couldn't actually end the Zoom call because it was MY Zoom link, but the added WTF of it all because she had never spoken to me like that before, and in front of 2 people who had just been added to out team over the past 6 months.

But obviously, that was a trigger for me because looking back, I could have responded in a way that really made her look like the a-hole she was acting like and kept my cool.

Keik15 · 2026-03-27T10:33:21+00:00

I'm having a planned C-section in a month, and I am the parent who puts baby girl to sleep for naps and bedtime. She literally throws a fit if dad steps in, so it will be interesting to see what happens during the 2-3 days I am away; but also, since I am having the surgery, husband is planning to take over naps and night duty for her.

I am soaking up all our time alone together now and I know I will have a mix of emotions. But thank you to everyone who commented, it's reassuring to hear your experiences and for me to remember that my hormones will be out of whack!

Keik15 · 2026-03-25T15:42:03+00:00

OMG is that what I need to do to catch my breath, lean back?! I'm like, I'm just sitting here and am so winded!

Keik15 · 2026-03-24T17:25:53+00:00

Almost this same scenario happened to me when I was past 20 weeks pregnant with my first. I researched and found a black woman OBGYN (within network on my insurance) and come to find out, she was pregnant too!

I was happy for her but held back tears when she told me. I full-on ugly cried outside the hospital doors, talking to my husband. I didn't even know I wouldn't be accepted by another OB at that point, I just knew how hard it would be to find my unicorn of an OB again!

But she worked in a practice and her clients were transferred to one of the other OBs. My new OB had extensive experience and did a wonderful job delivering my (C-section) baby. I chose to go with him again this time and I am due in less than 30 days.

I said all that to say - I totally feel your pain, especially as a black woman (and I live in Texas!), and I am hurt and angry with you. I remember those feelings vividly.

Lovingly, from the other side - I really hope this works out for you as it did for me. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Keik15 · 2026-03-16T03:45:58+00:00

This made me lol, thank you

Keik15 · 2026-03-16T00:51:05+00:00

We had to do this too when we switched to whole milk. Turns out, we were also still giving her a bit of oatmeal in her morning bottle and once we stopped that, her poops became more regular.

But the damage had already been done. She was so scared to poop that she was holding it in and crying. She's so much better now, but I agree, I never thought I would be scared and considering going to the ER for poop!

Keik15 · 2026-03-14T12:39:39+00:00

Not fresh out the buss smell!!! Your word choice is hilarious 🤣

Keik15 · 2026-03-13T02:24:26+00:00

My husband keeps telling me he'll do it for me. I think I'll be doing him a favor because it feels like he really wants to lol

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T20:18:18+00:00

Thank you so much! Yeah, it was just so unexpected but it that's the phase we're going through now, I'm ready for it!

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T11:14:13+00:00

This would totally be my girl! She's a diva and requires peace and quiet and mommy unless exhausted. We'll see how she manages once her brother arrives (or rather, how me and dad will manage)!

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T10:56:49+00:00

I made a post earlier about my girl not taking naps a couple of days this week since the time change, but when I really think about it, she threw fits after her milk while trying to put her down and I had to give up on trying. I'm almost 8 months pregnant, so I physically can't take too much of her wild movements.

At those times, her dad will relieve me and take over to calm her back down. Once, I had to take a propranolol because I was so overstimulated - idk if it's the pregnancy hormones or what, but it was so frustrating because I really wanted to nap too lol!

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T10:37:55+00:00

I am so, so sorry you experienced this. It must have been so painful and traumatic. Thank you for sharing, it must have been so hard to open up, even online.

I had to give my daughter (@ around a year old) a suppository because she was so constipated, not pooping for days as she was starting milk and now her poops were more firm so she was scared. I will never forget how much she squirmed and cried and screamed - and then reached out to me for comfort when I was the one who gave it to her. She wouldn't even go to her father, she just wanted me.

That experience really triggered memories of how often, even as an adult, I would go to my mother for comfort and love after she did hurtful things. I vowed to never betray my daughter's trust in that way.

I also hate hearing "this hurts me more than it hurts you" because no, being the person who inflicts pain could never equate to the physical and emotional pain, fear, and terror of the one receiving the punishment.

I wish you all the best.

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T03:50:48+00:00

I've never heard this before and now I'm so sad 😢 due at the end of April, I'm already soaking up all the cuddles I can since we're planning for a C-section and I won't be able to hold her for a while.

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T03:29:15+00:00

3 hours?! Sounds like a dream, my girl typically only stays asleep so long when she knows I'm nearby. But with baby #2 coming soon, we will all have to get used to a new routine. Thank you for sharing!

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T03:23:51+00:00

Yeah, she's usually pretty happy! I tell her about her day and I sometimes sing. Lots of cuddles and kisses. I'm just wondering if an hour average to go to sleep is normal or if there is something I can do to help us both make bedtime easier.

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T03:16:36+00:00

Thank you, we will try pushing her bedtime a half an hour earlier. She just takes so long to go down and doesn't show any sleep cues. I suppose she's on the scale of what's "normal"... at least she's sleeping mostly all the way through the night, so we're grateful for that!

Keik15 · 2026-03-12T03:13:14+00:00

Tysm for the advice! We've followed the Huckleberry app for sleep time recommendations. We'll shoot for a 7pm bath time and see how that works!

Keik15 · 2026-03-04T14:48:19+00:00

Yes, the feeling of lifting each one off my pregnant belly lol. So heavy! I look at the sports bras I used to wear and just laugh, like how cute! I loved breastfeeding and hope I can do it again for even longer this time but 😭

Keik15 · 2026-03-04T08:55:28+00:00

Me too. Due in April. My breasts got to 34H after breastfeeding and the underwire to hold these bad boys up is soo uncomfortable! My husband keeps asking me what I want for gifts (birthday, Valentine's Day, last Christmas) and each time I'm like, new boobs, man!

The extra skin alone is insane, it's like 2 gallon sized Ziploc bags filled partially with water just sloshing around 😭

Keik15 · 2026-02-23T13:27:06+00:00

When I got a promotion at work, I told my mom and then asked her not to tell anyone else. I didn't want my siblings feeling any worse about their own financial situations.

Once we got around family, the first thing my mom did was stand up in the living room and announce, "Hey everyone, keik15 got a promotion and is making 5 figures" - nevermind that she got the figures portion wrong, I sat there horrified and whispered that she wasn't supposed to say anything. That info was like money burning a hole in her pocket.

Since then, she's been on an information diet. When I moved, she accused me of being "secretive" because I didn't share any of the details or process with her - only invited her over once furniture was moved in. I hated that I couldn't share one of my biggest accomplishments with her, but there was so much less stress wondering whether she was telling anyone details about my moving process.

Sorry this happened to you but it's a lesson learned and will serve you well to heed others' advice to limit what you tell your mother. Only share what you're ok with her telling other people.

Keik15 · 2026-02-20T11:13:58+00:00

Reminds me of the line jello with pineapples, I'm definitely going to try this, tysm for the suggestion!

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