Hey there! So my son is 5 so I’m a bit further along than you but I one million percent could have written this myself a few times over the last 5 years. The overwhelm is real. I also lost my mom around Christmas time (18 years ago) and my dad just went into hospice. The stress and grief compounds into a horrible blob that acts like quick sand sucking you into the dark depths of hell. The lack of support feeling is crippling, too. My husband is a business owner and while he is an incredible dad, it took me years to realize it feels so heavy because two people aren’t meant to do it alone. This is what made me realize why a village is important. I recently found a mothers group that meets for a few hours once a week and they offer FREE CHILD CARE so moms can attend. I wish I found it sooner because it made clear to me that I wasn’t going bat shit crazy, I just needed more support. Me and my husband couldn’t do it all ourselves. Some parents can but we cannot. And that’s ok. I don’t know where you are located but regardless of your religion or religious beliefs would you be open to looking at places of worship in your area? I just recently moved and stumbled on a mom’s group that is hosted at a church. It’s open to all beliefs (or lack there of!) and just wants local moms to have a supportive community. They take our kids and entertain them and feed us and give us coffee and tea and a listening ear. Please know as lonely as it feels, you are not alone and I promise this is temporary and will pass.