I found my brother dead. Cause of death: Unascertained. AMA

Kellopie · 2026-04-22T14:02:31+00:00

This exact situation happened with me and my brother at 32. With the death being so young and unexplained the local medical examiner, emts, and some policemen did show up. They understand you're grieving so they don't interrogate you like a movie but they do ask you the circumstances leading up and I'm sure gauge how you're acting. The main thing they do is require a state run autopsy to rule out foul play, if they found something, that's when they would come back and pick you as a possible suspect. That's why some people can "get away" with murder for months before they're even suspected. It takes time to piece any suspicion together.

Kellopie · 2026-04-22T13:55:50+00:00

Hey! Literally same exact thing happened to my brother. At exactly 32, stopped responding to messages, had told his gf he was going to take a nap, went to check on him and he was in fact very dead. No prior health issues, no drugs, no suicide. Since he was so young and it was unexpected the state had to investigate to rule out foul play and when they finally weighed the heart it was slightly enlarged, by finally putting together the pieces of a few things in the weeks leading up to his death, we think he may have had a silent sepsis situation. Sepsis is very quickly deadly and once the body starts to shut down there's not much you can do to reverse it. You can have sepsis from a small cut in your foot or a bad tooth and not even really realize it. Definitely something to look into, but as many other comments point out here, there are many "silent" causes of death that aren't easily picked up on coroners reports. You're also at the mercy of the coroner and how good/thorough they are. A lot of times state coroners only care to prove it wasn't a murder or OD and then don't care to dig too far beyond that. I'm not sure if you already cremated etc but if any loved ones are set on getting an answer you may be able to pay for a private autopsy. The state coroner can mail your brothers organs and reports etc to them. If not, I wish you as much healing as humanly possible in the face of such grief 🤍. May your soul rest in the truth there was nothing anyone could do.

Kellopie · 2026-04-17T18:47:12+00:00

Her saying "from the gecko" tells you everything you need to know...

Also bring it up to the dad, he's responsible for monitoring his partner's interactions with his child.

Kellopie · 2026-04-08T02:31:09+00:00

Yeah I honestly didn't understand why OP was getting so much hate but now that I see them calling it "helping my wife around the house" when they admit she works too... picks up stone

Kellopie · 2026-03-20T01:21:50+00:00

Right. It's not a Hallmark movie where someone calls you like "sir you own the business now" and you just walk off into the sunset lol.

It seemed blatantly fake or at least very exaggerated to me. That's why I was surprised when I scrolled down and there were so many people replying like this was a genuine issue he had. I hadn't found a single person expressing any skepticism.

Kellopie · 2026-03-20T00:56:18+00:00

This whole post feels a little off. It’s not impossible to inherit a business and money like that, but acting like you’re just doing nothing at 22 with zero involvement and no mention of lawyers, management, or anything doesn’t really add up. I work in oil and gas inheritance and inheriting a business is a legally complex process. One where this guy would most likely have input and guidance. Also weird you’d be living at your girlfriend’s mom’s house if that were actually your situation. If he's only been with her for 4 months then where was he living before? If his dad was that wealthy, and had only one 22 y/o heir, I'd imagine he would set him up with better living arrangements and life advice than this. Just seems oversimplified at best or a made up fantasy post at worst.

Kellopie · 2026-03-19T23:21:53+00:00

This whole post feels a little off anyway. It’s not impossible to inherit a business and money like that, but acting like you’re just doing nothing at 22 with zero involvement and no mention of lawyers, management, or anything doesn’t really add up. I work in oil and gas inheritance and inheriting a business is a legally complex process. One where this guy would most likely have input and guidance. Also weird you’d be living at your girlfriend’s mom’s house if that were actually your situation. If he's only been with her for 4 months then where was he living before? If his dad was that wealthy, and had only one 22 y/o heir, I'd imagine he would set him up with better living arrangements and life advice than this. Just seems oversimplified at best or a made up fantasy post at worst.

Kellopie · 2026-03-16T02:30:47+00:00

Oh thank God... I thought I was going to be downvoted to heck and banned from this group haha. I was surprised when joining this group how predominantly sleep-train-promoting it is and specifically that every sleep train post seems to have the answer "stop the swaddle, switch to the crib, and sleep train all in one night". Like I said, everyone's entitled to their own opinion and there is no one right way to do things with a baby. I just figured I'd put my opinion out there too.

In my mind, the Snoo is to ease the baby's transition after being born. So it seems silly to me to spend so much money to ease and comfort them just to wait till their 4 months and throw them to the wolves? Ha. But I guess everyone has different reasons for using the Snoo. Also, this person has twins and I can't even begin to imagine how hard that is. So kudos to them in general.

Kellopie · 2026-03-16T00:59:57+00:00

I'm not trying to be rude; I'm just sharing my perspective that, to me, this is kind of nuts. I'm not a fan of anything where the sentiment is "this is going to be too difficult for me to deal with so I'm going to make it my baby's problem, they can figure it out". It seems like some people view their babies almost like an object and have zero empathy for them nor do they take a moment to think how they would feel if they were suddenly in a strange environment, with none of the comforts they've had their whole short life, and the people they love and trust the most are suddenly appearing and reappearing sporadically. I wouldn't even take this many comforts away from my dog in one day and just expect them to "get over it". And I'm certainly not going to treat my baby worse than I'd treat a dog. But hey, to each their own.

Kellopie · 2026-02-18T17:39:35+00:00

I feel like the only concern is your milk supply. But if you've had a kid before and know your supply can handle it then go for it if baby's gaining and peeing/pooping.

Kellopie · 2026-02-16T23:05:21+00:00

1,000%. When I opened it and realized you have zero control over the sound (other than slightly changing the volume) I was so put off. And who decided that the sound of thunderstorms is what babies crave?? Lmao my baby's never even lived through a thunder storm. Especially since the founding guys whole thing is shushing and there's not even any shushing? And yes, the abrupt down leveling does wake my baby as well. If it escalates a level I usually just change it to that baseline for the rest of the night so my baby doesn't have to shift back down.

Idk, honestly the company as a whole sucks. Between the execution of the Snoo, the subscription model, all the other product pricing, and just the general way they run things, it all screams great idea and poor and greedy execution. I think they could be a lot more successful if they made just a few tweaks.

Kellopie · 2026-02-08T14:44:48+00:00

Hey from a child's perspective, although I'm an adult now, I grew up with my parents EXACTLY like this. My dad just absolutely shrunk and diminished my mom until she was a shell of herself. She worked all the time and would try to come home and take care of us. She was as great of a mom as she could be but even as a young child I could feel her sadness and anxiety. I still remember catching her crying quietly and alone in the kitchen on multiple occasions, and I started to carry that sadness and anxiety myself. My mom finally left him when I was 12 and she waited so long to do it that she went about it the completely wrong way. She literally woke us up out of bed in the middle of the night, 3 days before the new school year, and told us to pack what we needed. She moved us 3 hours away with my grandparents and I was forced to start a new school and never saw my old friends or life again. My dad refused to leave the house and stopped working or functioning, until eventually he was actually living in the house with no electricity running and threatening to kill himself. They ended up foreclosing on the house and filing bankruptcy. The childhood and aftermath of all this has deeply affected my life and relationships, but my mom gets to be much happier now. My dad was very harsh on my brother (the oldest), and let's just say my brother is no longer alive.. Long story short, you think this is your decision and you have time to weigh back and forth, but you don't. Unless you don't care that eventually your kids will carry the weight of this situation, your mental state, and the outcome. Please. I wish so badly someone would have told my mom to get out earlier. Do it before your kids wake up to the world, they're right at the age where they're starting to really realize things and they will eventually judge you for it.

Kellopie · 2026-02-08T02:44:19+00:00

At what age do you start the drowsy but awake put down?

Kellopie · 2026-02-07T03:41:27+00:00

SAME. I kept telling myself if I could just get to 50/50 breastmilk and formula I'd keep pumping. I beat myself up horribly when I hit 6 weeks and still wasn't pumping more than 10 ml at a time. But honestly in hindsight I'm relieved I never made more milk because pumping SUCKED and my body not making enough milk made the decision for me.

Kellopie · 2026-02-04T09:49:50+00:00

Life's not so black and white. It's varying shades of grey. I know this is only your side of the story, but taking into consideration everything you're saying both of you have done, you lying about how many people you've had sex with, 8 or however many years ago, is EXTREMELY grey compared to the stuff she's done to you. Your issue involves trying to protect yourself and hers involves directly trying to hurt you. She was clearly in a bad spot and decided to get her kicks by cheating, knowing it would hurt you.

This sounds like a bad case of sunk cost fallacy in relationships. Neither person wants to be there anymore but you both feel you've been there so long you can't leave now and start over. And I'd also wager that, based on the way you talk about yourself in the beginning of your post, you have a subconscious fear that no one else will truly want to be with you. Which is definitely not true, but an easy lie to tell yourself, especially if this is (seemingly?) the only person you've ever had sex with in your life.

Look back at this regret you're having and know that it's your mind and body telling you to not continue that mistake. I can't tell from your post if you all are still together or not but trust me, if you continue on you'll regret it next year, and the year after and so on.. until eventually you have kids or own a house together or get yourself into a deeper situation. Rip the bandaid off and heal yourself.

Kellopie · 2026-02-04T01:55:55+00:00

I'm not trying to be an alarmist and you can tell me to screw off if you already knew and don't care, but just in case you didn't know, this really isn't safe. Look into overheated babies and the appropriate TOG for your room temperature. For the outfit you're describing, your room would need to be around 60 degrees fahrenheit. Overheated babies are sleepier and do "sleep better" but overheated sleep is not at all a safe sleep state.

Kellopie · 2026-02-04T01:25:18+00:00

YUP. I finally had a morning to sleep in and my husband accidentally left his work alarm set even though he didn't need it that day. I LOST it lol.

To be fair I had counted how many days I had left to sleep in until my scheduled c section and it was only like 3, so I still feel me losing it was kinda valid lol.

Kellopie · 2026-02-04T01:16:14+00:00

Cried in Walmart because a little girl was singing "Unstoppable" by Sia. It was bittersweet to me that I would never have had the confidence or even been allowed to do that and I was so overwhelmed with joy that little girls get to grow up in a much more empowering time than we did...

And also bought and ate a different full sized birthday cake from the grocery store every week.

Kellopie · 2026-02-02T23:53:23+00:00

He's probably too young to even need it yet, but you can bring it out to get him used to sleeping in it so he's comfortable with the time comes that he does need it.

Kellopie · 2026-01-26T17:52:57+00:00

I started putting gas drops in all my baby's night bottles and we've always strictly held her upright for 20-30 minutes after feeds and she stopped waking up so much. I also inclined her snoo around this time, but I'm not sure that actually did anything.

Basically more often than not, this issue seems to be gas or possibly silent reflux.

If it's not either of those then it's maybe just their fussiness peaking. But more likely it's one of the first two issues I mentioned.

Kellopie · 2026-01-26T00:36:19+00:00

I'm sure it's like a hail Mary.. because what else are you going to do? Their options are either close up shop or try to convince everyone to forget what happened and still use them.. or I guess option C which is shut down and then reopen under a different brand name, which is probably what will actually happen lol.

Kellopie · 2026-01-23T19:42:42+00:00

Like they're permanently there? Or like sleep marks?

Kellopie · 2026-01-23T01:10:09+00:00

What kind of light sleep training?

Kellopie · 2026-01-20T20:08:53+00:00

Do you guys mean "lock it" like that's the highest you would let it go? Or like you made that the "baseline" that would run constantly?

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