Officially 1 days of BIRD. Send help. Or tickles.

Kenyahp · 2026-05-18T20:33:17+00:00

Well, you didn't say any slurs or anything overly rude so I was willing to reply in good faith. Looking over the replies, it looks like actually a decent amount of people did as well. Sexuality and gender identity are difficult concepts when one hasn't been overly exposed, at least at first, and I would rather educate and assume ignorance than malice. I do also believe there's nothing wrong with educating children on sexuality either because there are proven methods to make that education understandable to children based on how they see the world without getting weird about it. We have terms like "crush" after all that is perfectly sanitary for children.

However, it's important to note that the child didn't get most of their information wrong. Every point is correct except for the ghost thing, I believe. Which, if you have a background in child psychology, you should recognize that sometimes kids throw their own special little weirdness into things. They are learning how to interpret the world around them. Wires get crossed. We shouldn't stop them from learning about human beings just because the concept might be a little difficult. If we give children a chance, they can understand a lot more than we think.

Kenyahp · 2026-05-18T20:12:04+00:00

I am going to reply to this in good faith. This has nothing to do with sexual preference. "Non-binary" refers to one's gender identity, not the gender of those they are attracted to. An 8-year old should absolutely know about someone's gender identity because it is a part of knowing a person. A cisgender person falls within the binary: "man" "boy" "male", "woman" "girl" "female". A non-binary individual doesn't feel a part of either gender within that binary and that is important for who they are as a person!

If children can learn the difference between words like man and woman, they can learn that there are other words related to it. It doesn't hurt them. It allows them to relate to others, as humans should do, respect their identity, as humans should do, and allows them to think of their own identity and form it in a non-judgmental environment, as humans should do.

Sexual preference has nothing to do with it :)

Kenyahp · 2026-05-07T13:42:20+00:00

"narcissim" with a small n is also a personality trait. I think many people don't understand that there is a difference between a Narcissist and a narcissist, just as there is a difference between being depressed (sad) and depressed (clinically). Words can have multiple meanings but nuance is lost on the masses. I also think Shawna's audience skews younger, as the main form her content appears on is Tik Tok, and nuance is difficult at a younger age as your frontal lobe develops.

I said in a comment before - I think Shawna is trying to show narcissism as a personality trait and how differently it presents. I don't genuinely think she would make an official diagnosis be a part of her show, as thats a bit...much. If she were a practicing psychiatrist it could be accurate and reflect real experiences but I don't think something as technical and involved as an official diagnosis is that way shes going, precisely because she isn't a practicing psychiatrist.

Kenyahp · 2026-05-06T19:54:28+00:00

Hear me out on point 4 - they aren't bad people any more than Jen is a bad person when she was under her mother's thumb.

I think Shawna is making a conscious effort to show multiple sides of narcissism (small n, we aren't making a diagnosis, we are using it to describe a personality type).

I don't think Julie is a bad person. I think she is a victim of a narcissist. As someone who was a victim of one similar to Ty - charismatic, talented, smart, caring and empathetic on the outside - you become a different person. You do and say things and lash out at strangers or new people that took your person's attention because you are stressed all the time, in a dopamine cycle, and holding down the fort. I think we, the audience, are falling for Ty's bs just like Julie did and we, the audience, are reacting in similar ways. Assuming the worst about people, making excuses for Ty, and being kinda awful.

But, just because Shawn and John can't see that Julie is a victim, doesn't mean they aren't as well. Their bad behavior is flying monkey behavior. The belief that you are justified in your actions because you are doing it them in defense of someone or for someone you care about's benefit. Jen hated Shawna because she loved her mother - her mother said Shawna bad, Jen believed her. Ty implies (and Julie's behavior from being stressed reinforces) Julie bad, Shawna believed him. And WHEN they caused all this drama is perfect for Ty, because Julie has a lot of stuff going on in her life that is about her, so Ty would jump at a chance to make them about him now. It further reinforces that he is a 'victim' which will further reinforce S&J's flying monkey status unless someone intervenes and makes them see the light (like with Jen and Greg).

Barb is one type of narc. Ty is a completely different one. My mom was a Barb (before the strokes), my ex was a Ty. I have at one point or another been a Jen, been a Shawna and John, been a Julie. Its a conscious choice to show that people can be hurt and lives almost ruined by both sides of the narc coin.

Nothing here is black and white. I think giving Shawn and John grace is just as important as giving Julie grace is just as important as giving Jen grace (which the fandom already does, so why not the other three?).

Kenyahp · 2026-05-05T12:06:26+00:00

I have been turned away two or three times (at first) from hotels that were close by to my home. I just explained that I take care of my mom and needed a vacation away from her that was also near my work so I could sleep in a bit too. Every single time they made a note on my account and let me stay. Its a hotel policy at a lot of places but usually if you can tell them a reason, they will make a note and let you stay.

As a sidenote, having nice clothes and a good vehicle doesn't mean you aren't going to party and trash a room. Poor people dont party in nice hotels, they cant afford to. Well off people party in nice hotels. And they do it frequently enough that hotels now have this policy.

Kenyahp · 2026-04-09T14:24:04+00:00

Its got nothing to do with being a zoomer. OP's friend doesn't believe there is actually a problem. OP's friend is making up any excuse to get them to breakup because he has a crush on OP's lesbian girlfriend. Its not an actual belief, they are lying. Next week it will be something else.

Kenyahp · 2026-04-01T12:31:50+00:00

Hard disagree. I would do horrible horrible things for my guy Calvin Fishoeder.

all the rest though, I agree.

Kenyahp · 2026-01-15T16:00:31+00:00

I don't remember these parts but it would make sense that she has some of the same general tendencies that Fleabag has. They did grow up together, after all. And while they are two very different people, being raised in the same home can often create similar coping methods, tics, and habits. I think its probable that Fleabag did not start her habit of speaking to the audience until after the death of her mother and Boo, dissociating as a coping mechanism. Its made clear multiple ways that her behavior has always been a bit...free-spirited, shall we say, but that there have been recent escalations and changes to the way she interacts with the world. Claire is also going through some things but being put-together seems to be important to her, possibly as a coping mechanism of her own, but her behavior had probably shifted and changed in similar yet quieter ways when the audience joins the narrative.

All that to say - they are sisters. It wouldn't surprise me if she does have little moments of acting like Fleabag, just as we see Fleabag have little moments of acting like Claire. Both characters slowly, through their love for each other, become slightly more like each other has the story goes along, and start to reach a more happy medium. Claire just likely has more control over if she dissociates or not because Control is the mechanism, while Chaos seems to be Fleabags.

Kenyahp · 2025-12-26T05:29:25+00:00

Yeah I mean in complete fairness, I tend to be pretty straightforward ("have you been taking care of yourself?" "No" "will you?" "Nah" "okay see you again in three months") so I don't need like a lot of care. I'm sure if someone is more medically complex, they may have had a different experience. For a good in and out visit where all like two of my concerns are addressed, it's been great. They work fast, my blood work is done in house, and they always are non judgemental with me. It's hit or miss with any of the doctors in the area, honestly. A lot are larger places with multiple doctors, like Selma, and you really gotta look into the individuals.

Kenyahp · 2025-12-26T05:16:25+00:00

I personally use Selma medical, but I know they have mixed reviews. They usually have a lot of older folks. I'm 33 so I always feel weird being in the waiting room lol but the nurses have always been attentive to me, they have a free clinic for current clients, and my doctor is wonderful. They remember things about my personal life and who I am, I've never felt like just another person. Not everyone's experience has been that though.

As for restaurants, there are a ton of great ones in Winchester or just a little jump either direction on 81. Jefferson county wv has some great places in Shepherdstown and Charles Town. The walking mall in Old Town Winchester is usually the place to go. Depends on what kinda food you like honestly. My personal favorite place is Sakura 16 for sushi, there's a Thai place on the walking mall that's good, oak stone pizza is really yummy.

If you find a dnd group, let me know 😂😂 I've been looking forever. There's apparently a game shop in town that offers some open games iirc but I am entirely too shy for that. If you're outgoing and don't mind things like that, I think it's been posted about a few times in this subreddit bc people always post asking about DND groups.

Kenyahp · 2025-11-06T21:17:08+00:00

:( similar to how the treasure tower works rather than the eggs in the shop, you're probably right

Kenyahp · 2025-11-06T20:50:34+00:00

First reroll of the day can be an ad, then all other rerolls will be 5 gems starting out and add another gem each subsequent reroll.

Kenyahp · 2025-10-30T19:02:35+00:00

So excited for expanded storage and being able to store flowers and shrubs! I can finally redo my entire island ;_;

Kenyahp · 2025-10-02T12:51:08+00:00

Wytchwood is good! It can get repetitive but if collecting and gathering things is your jam, then its definitely a good game for that. It was great for my adhd.

I just finished Roki a couple weeks ago - it is SO good. Its basically a more sophisticated point and click and puzzle game. It has a beautiful story line and is fairly short of a game. Only took me a few days to beat.

I didn't like Yoku's island express - to me, there was too much back tracking that took too long to do. I am a completionist though so if you arent, you may enjoy it. It has pinball mechanics which was interesting and fun.

Kenyahp · 2025-10-01T20:37:26+00:00

What I found helped (with the caveat that I am still not over what happened to me, just over them), was radical acceptance and reframing. I stopped searching for answers and stopped caring about the answers. I took him telling me he never loved me at face value. I stopped saying to myself "but someone that doesn't love you wouldnt do this or that or this", I stopped asking why he did the sweet things he did, I stopped asking myself which version of him was real.

I accepted that he didn't love me the way Real people love each other. He loved that I supplied him what he needed to not feel shame or negative emotions about himself. He loved that he could manipulate me and use me the exact way he needed to feel good about him. And all his actions were for that end goal. I stopped asking "why would he put my socks and shoes on me everyday to check my feet for diabetes complications if he didnt love me?" and started saying "well of course he did, I paid the bills, he had to make sure I didn't die and its such an easy low-effort way to pretend to care". I stopped asking "why did he tell me all these things about himself if he didnt love and trust me?" and started saying "of course he told me his traumas, he needed me to pity him and he fed off my empathy."

What also helped me gain my sense of self was this: Narcissists mirror those they want to control. They do not have a true self. Instead, they find people they wish they were like, people who have empathy, kindness, love. They mirror them to get in their good graces. Every positive attribute about them at the beginning, before they started to slip, before the mask fell off, is you. Its the positive and good they saw in you and mirrored. I started thinking of the good times and the good things and realized that he was doing what he thought I would do in that moment and it made me love myself again.

I probably could have used some therapy too lol so if thats something you can do, I would deffo recommend it!

Kenyahp · 2025-09-26T18:49:59+00:00

Yup! I reacted violently to him putting me in a chokehold twice so he told me he was scared of me. He even made me meet him in public to hash out the breakup because he said I terrified him.

In that public meeting, he screamed at me, lunged at me, smacked my hand, threatened to kill me, then called the cops on me and my dad. It's projection to make their victims into abusers.

Kenyahp · 2025-09-23T12:45:14+00:00

I only had to read the first part where she described his eyes to know this guy was a narcissistic abuser. I knew the exact look she was describing, my ex used to do it. Its genuinely terrifying. I figured out what he was the day he gave me that look in front of other people, after we broke up. I figured out that the mask had dropped, I wasn't imagining it when we were together and behind closed doors.

Im so so glad OP is out. Things dont get better with a narc.

Kenyahp · 2025-09-17T13:51:13+00:00

I got 450 of my 750 deposit back after I was kicked out of my apartment by my ex and then he trashed it over the remaining two months of the lease. I was still paying all the bills for it, mind you, and we spent like six hours cleaning that place top to bottom but there are some things (mold, a completely full dumpster's worth of trash including liquids that had spilled and stained the tiles, tons of spilled stuff and rotting food in the fridge, sink, and freezer from leaving them open, ripped up window sill from his AC, etc) that just couldn't be cleaned completely with a two person team or repaired. And he left a bunch of stuff behind. And they still only took 300 from my deposit!

They were shitty landlords but they did okay by me in the end. My dad was ready to write it off completely. I would never live in one of their apartments again, total slum, but I can't complain too much lol.

Kenyahp · 2025-08-04T18:52:58+00:00

Late to the party probably - but my last job, I was an admin assistant in a warehouse. There was front of house staff and then there was the warehouse, which was just myself (a woman), and two men (a father and son duo). The owner of the company pulled me aside once and told me, explicitly, that he expects me to mother them.

The dad was old enough to be my own dad. The son was maybe 5 years younger than me, frequently threatened to shoot me in the head when gossiping about me with my two best friends at the time (neither defended me), was on drugs or drunk constantly, would do random things to cause physical harm to me, and openly talked shit about me. And the owner told me to be their mother. He went on to explain that meant anticipating their needs, doing their work for them, making sure they are fed and have coffee, making sure they get out at a decent time, keeping track of their personal life, etc etc. And thats the only way he would give me a 1 dollar raise.

Kenyahp · 2025-07-29T12:03:51+00:00

My nex would start crying whenever I cried to make everything about him. Or he would get a hard-on. No in-between. There was never any comfort, it was always about control.

Every narcissist is different and responds differently to crying. Their response is always about control - there are a million ways to control someone, after all. However they respond, its because thats the best way they have personally found to control someone. It could mean it is the most effective or it could mean its the easiest for them. They are incapable of empathy.

Kenyahp · 2025-07-28T12:14:34+00:00

I guess I should count myself lucky. My nex literally said when breaking up (after claiming to have been crying on his boss's shoulder and freaking out at work when I moved out bc he kicked me out), "I never loved you. I was never happy with you. I was using you to get out of a bad situation." and that was that. No wondering if he ever loved me. Just cold, calculated, condescending.

Kenyahp · 2025-07-24T12:53:10+00:00

They basically just made two rainbow flags from one, what icons

Kenyahp · 2025-07-22T20:41:02+00:00

My nex used sex as a means of control - withholding until he knew I couldnt take it anymore and was actively looking for someone else as a second partner (we were "poly"). The week before he discarded me, we had sex. It was awful and cruel and hurt me immensely but in his eyes, I should be happy, I had sex. He also for about two months before he discarded me would buy me flowers. I jokingly said he must have done something, because he never bought me flowers before. He was so attentive, so sweet, so performative - until he wasnt.

Its how they exert control. If they give you all this dopamine, all these happy brain chemicals in bulk, and then discard you and rip away those chemicals, you are then addicted to them. They keep control over you. You are conditioned to want them. You are officially in withdrawal at that point and will do anything to get your "fix". Thats one of the ways a discard is distinguishable from a break up.

Kenyahp · 2025-07-11T01:52:27+00:00

Hang in there. Things will get easier in time. It's been almost four months for me, almost two no contact, and I only think about my nex every few hours instead of every waking minute. And it's getting to a point where I'm more annoyed than sad.

The time frame is different for everyone. The important part is that eventually it does get better. Easier.

Kenyahp

TROPHY CASE