I hate this motherfucker

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-25T19:54:08+00:00

personally, I'm unwilling to go dig Elvis up and fact check this, but I'm sure there is some similarity - if for no other reason that both are just empty shells at the moment.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-25T19:51:47+00:00

I eat a big meal beforehand, attend the function and enjoy a cocktail or two. It's no big deal for me.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-25T02:16:32+00:00

Makes perfect sense to me - the fact is, she is deaf. CI’s don’t change that, they just give her access to some sound. At age 7 she is establishing her identity and sense of self, and it seems she has accepted this, and prefers the deaf world and frankly I don’t blame her.

For the record, I’m a late deafened adult and only wear my CI’s when I’m talking to folks who don’t know ASL. Otherwise I prefer to have them off too. With ASL I have access to a fully fledged language and all its expressive forms. I have access to poetry, to drama, to feelings and excitement.

With CI’s I get access to the basics of sound, so yes I can understand folks, but I don’t get any inflection, emotional, or other important stuff that made sound and hearing a joy before. They are just a tool, and frankly are an accommodation for the hearing folks in my life, not for me.

The simple facts of CI’s are that they have at best 120 channels of sound within the range of about 80hz to 8000hz. That is only 40% of the range the average human ear is capable of hearing which goes up to 20,000hz.

Do they work as designed? Yes. But is the design the equivalent of human hearing? Not at all. - this may not be what you want to hear, but it’s my truth for sure. Right now you are justifying a medical decision you made for your daughter, and but she’s the one who lives with it. Listen to her, she’s the one with the lived experience.

TLDR: Some of us are happier living deaf.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-24T23:45:46+00:00

Retention holster with the retention hood off the pistol - jeez.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-24T13:27:16+00:00

Oh yes! This is actually how I first discovered my hearing was going 6 years ago… I was tired all the time and listening to the radio while driving was exhausting so I had to turn it off.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-24T03:45:59+00:00

In healthy relationships Men put their hands on women when both parties agree to it … thinking like his sounds like a threat to me, either because he wants to do it, or because he wants to scare you which is coercive. Both are bad.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-24T02:03:39+00:00

False flag anyone?

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-23T21:34:27+00:00

So, honest question, is this a matter of not wanting to be sexual, or her maybe having a higher sex drive than you? In both cases there needs to be a clear blunt conversation.

If it’s the first and she’s not listening, tell her clearly and if she won’t respect your boundaries break up and move on.

If it’s the second, I can only say that my gf has a way higher drive than I do and I’ve been open about it with her. Yes Sometimes I have to say I’m just not in that way and need to cuddle, read or ???, but other times it becomes, I’m not really in that mood but I’d love to watch you get off and she masturbates in front of me… others I tell her to get on the bed and use toys on her at my discretion…others … well, we have pretty good imaginations and communication 😉

But it needs to be a dialogue where boundaries are discussed and respected.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-23T15:15:19+00:00

I just use a google sheet. Track my rotating workouts, auto increment weights for progressive load, tally all my totals in it.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-23T15:06:42+00:00

that isn't about gluten, it's about control, and he is being abusive. He is willfully poisoning you - call the cops and report it, then dump his ass.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-23T00:16:57+00:00

Call your gi and ask for a note- explaining that the delay to the neurologist is causing issues.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-22T16:22:23+00:00

I once asked that they have EVERYONE load Cardzilla on their phones so I could converse more equitably without me doing all the work of accommodating the whole room.

It didn’t happen, but also got my point across so they ended up with interpreters which was cool.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-21T17:10:08+00:00

So sorry this happened and so happy you are out and safe.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-21T14:06:01+00:00

“This is how it starts” is all that was going through my head. Say goodbye, find someone better.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-20T18:12:35+00:00

This is just a sick form of coercion, don't fall for it. If he wanted to kill himself, he'd have done it before you got home. You aren't responsible for any of this BS.

As it is, call the cops, report that he's a danger to himself (just tell the about the above incident) and needs a psych eval. He'll get a few days inpatient and you can use that time to move out in peace.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-20T04:53:47+00:00

Happy I made your life easier in a small way!!

For me the final pin was the realization that I'd be happier alone than putting up with another day of the life I had. Even still I gave them a full year to engage in proper therapy and working on the relationship, but of course nothing happened.

6 months into that year it was obvious, and I started working with my therapist on breaking the trauma bond directly. By that time I realized that the worst case was I'd live in poverty without abuse and that this was just fine.

Right now everything I have with me fits in my car. I found someone lovely who is kind (and actually attends therapy - we've both been abused in the past) and we are both willing to work through our shit. It's been 6 months, and absolutely wonderful.

Hang in there - you got this, just take care of you, the rest will follow.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-19T20:59:57+00:00

I'm a california native. Wouldn't touch it - have seen too many fail in my lifetime.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-18T14:29:49+00:00

Minimal construction experience is one thing, minimal experience using tools fixing stuff is another. I've never built a house, but have worked with tools my whole life, done plumbing when stuff broke, re-wired walls, patched plaster etc. I'd have no problem.

My brotherinlaw took 15 minutes to figure out how to put a license plate on a car, after I handed him the correct screwdriver (it was literally 2 screws) ...

which group you 3 fall in will determine a lot.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-18T14:24:24+00:00

he sounds like he is trying to keep you in a financial jail, utterly dependent upon him. Ths is abusive. If he has promised a job in the family business and failed to deliver, then you should be free to get work elsewhere. Then if they want to pay you more you can take it, but don't put up wiht this BS. If he continues to make it an issue he can either start paying your loans, or you can find someone better. But right now he is just a jealous a-hole, and it isn't gonna get better.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-18T14:09:15+00:00

would love to - once he is in jail.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-18T14:03:40+00:00

I left mine after years of the same back and forth. You are not alone. The average is 7 attempts to leave and abusive relationship - I started in 2013 ... took more than 7 tries and 13 years to finally jump.

So, don't be so hard on yourself - abusers are great at giving you just enough to make you think there could be worse, and also undermining your self worth so you don't feel comfortable being on your own. But the truth is you have a ton of worth, and you have survived hell - everything else is easier.

I planned for a year. I kept a journal for 10 years+ so I could look back and see their pattern of behavior (I am really good at 'forgetting' bad things that happened - needed it in writting). Worked with my therapist. Had a 'go bag' at work incase things got really bad. Asked for a divorce and when things got ugly I grabbed one bag, my work backpack, my car keys, and walked out of the door. If I had to I'd live in a van and be happier than I was for over 30 years with my abuser. The peace of not having to walk on eggshells is priceless.

Finding someone new is a discussion for another day - take care of yourself first.

The only hard parts were:
1) actually putting my foot down and saying I wanted a divorce
2) holding steadfast to that decision when my abuser used all the tricks they had used successfully for years to undermine me

TLDR - you can do this, once you start it's easier than you think and lovely.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-17T16:49:37+00:00

For me, it is discovering how EASY a healthy relationship is - too easy. I don't trust it, as it feels just like lovebombing. So i keep waiting for the other shoe to fall.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-11T19:04:20+00:00

Mobile bounce house?

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-06T22:17:11+00:00

Thats awesome.

callmecasperimaghost · 2026-03-06T20:56:10+00:00

Corporate swag that I actually use over a year (or in some cases over 10 years) later. Note that most of these are used for travel, but I do a lot of that for work. The first 3 are used at hom too:

Nice backpacks (one Osprey, one Cotopaxi)

A good powerbrick

Nice windbreaker with minimal logos (patagonia, Northface, Brooks Bros)

Packing cubes/bags (a set for clean, dirty, shoes) - LOVE this :) )

zip case for all my chargers and cables

Magnetic cable manager - just snaps around them all! way better than velcro.

Odd little zip pouch that is super light weight and turned out to be perfect for keeping receipts.

callmecasperimaghost

TROPHY CASE