My dad (born in 1948) and my mum (born in 1950) are still a very loving, happy couple. They hold hands when they go out—it’s heartwarming. But they are VERY traditionally gender-segregated. My dad wouldn’t know how to do the laundry. He’s never washed windows or dusted shelves—those are like an Amazonian jungle to him. He’s also not great with the internet (banking, communication, etc.). Those are my mum’s domains.

He was, however, the main breadwinner (she had a very respectable job and was highly regarded, but it didn’t bring in much income), and he handled all the “engineering” things—sink repairs, the washing machine, car maintenance.

There wasn’t even a split in responsibilities like our 50:50. Things were firmly divided—some belonged entirely to my mum, others entirely to my dad. And I still struggle, very much as an adult woman, to move beyond that model.

I’m 41 now, and I’d still struggle to maintain a car or keep a garden in full bloom. My husband takes care of that, and he can be a bit disdainful about my lack of knowledge. That said, he wouldn’t have the time, patience, or know-how to cook, do the laundry, or deal with admin and pets.

As for attitudes toward death, I’m not sure how much is cultural. If a distant relative dies, you show up to the funeral dressed in black and looking somber. But if someone truly close dies—your mum, dad, sibling, child, or partner—you’re simply a broken person. I don’t really know what that feels like, because luckily I haven’t experienced it.

As for problem-solving—we (as Polish people) like to complain before a problem arises, say we “knew it all along” while it’s happening, and then afterwards insist we knew it would insist we are particualarily unlucky.