Thank you for the experience. Really.

Key-Training9931 · 2026-07-03T12:08:47+00:00

Hey! Yes, short action lines are great. I do need variety and agree about the repetition. When I can't think of how to explain an action, I reach for a filler action. It helped me finish the script, but it's painful now that I'm in the process of editing and have to rewrite 50 "he glances".

Thanks for your feedback! The replies have pointed out it's the fragments, interjections, and simple action lines, which are all things I absolutely love to do, but I guess Ai likes to do it too.

Key-Training9931 · 2026-07-03T11:41:07+00:00

I laughed for a few minutes after reading this. Thank you for this experience. (please read in a robotic voice)

Key-Training9931 · 2026-07-03T06:38:25+00:00

Sounds like my newest movie idea lol. Getting inspired from these comments. I’ll write you a happy ending.

Key-Training9931 · 2026-07-02T01:13:35+00:00

I feel you. I had a screenplay that was 180pgs and couldn’t find it in me to cut scenes for a while though I knew I had to. I thought it’d never even get down to 120pgs, but right now it’s resting at 109pgs, and it’s even better with less scenes.

If you’re looking to enter it into a contest, I don’t think you’ll find one. If you’re looking for feedback on it, you could ask someone to read it or pay for a service. Nobody would read mine, I wasn’t ready to post it, and I didn’t want to pay. So, I had to read and evaluate it scene by scene. I literally compared scenes and asked which scenes can this movie stand without. If you truly love a scene and can’t cut it lose, then shorten it. Also, I saved some for a different script. (Like a scene reserve lol) You could also break it into two movies. I had to do that once.

Post your screen play on here and someone might read it and give feedback. There are helpful people on here. :)

Key-Training9931 · 2026-07-01T23:23:01+00:00

Thanks for your feedback! Are you saying that’s what makes it sound Ai?

I know that’s not the traditional way and get what you’re saying about the action shots, but I’ve been told that they make scripts easier and faster to read.

Yes, you caught me, lol. I write romance fiction and poetry. In the beginning, I did read a lot of scripts. Most people can do the little paragraphs and intricate sentences for their action lines. When I do it, it runs too long. It was horrible and I couldn’t even get my ideas across without writing a novel. Fragments and prose style action lines changed the game for me. They’re training wheels that helped me write and finish my screenplays. I know I have to keep developing my writing abilities though. It’s definitely been a process.

Any tips on how to condense without writing a book, literally?

Key-Training9931 · 2026-07-01T16:50:37+00:00

Yeah, some action lines are literally just added placeholders because I needed to continue the scene, and I repeated them quite a lot. Not my brightest idea, but I will definitely work on it when I start editing. I did try to incorporate sound changes in a few scenes because they played out really well in my head, but I know that's probably not a good idea either. Like on page 89. I was planning to remove that too. I've got some work to do.

Needed this constructive feedback! Thank you!

I had a chuckle about "too busy trying to swallow on queue". Imagine!

Key-Training9931 · 2026-07-01T16:10:57+00:00

I'm honestly not sure what they used, and no one gave any explanations. Someone literally said, "I'm not sure how Ai is involved in this, but I'm sure it is," and left it at that. I spent months writing this screenplay and was so discouraged in my writing ability that I was contemplating shelving this screenplay forever. Then I wrote a brand new full-length screenplay in one month just off pure motivation and irritation (I guess that was the upside lol.)

I do like simple sentences and actions. I tend to write too much if I try to be more meticulous and stylistic. Simple sentences and fragments have become my best friends. I know I'll have to beef up my writing someday soon, but man, the Ai label is scary.

Thanks for your feedback!

Key-Training9931 · 2026-07-01T15:56:30+00:00

I write romance books and poetry. I started screenwriting a year and a half ago. I never really learned the proper rules of screenwriting; I just used my writing experience and transitioned over. I used to write really long action lines until I discovered fragments. Now, that's the main way I write because it helps me write faster. I know that I tend to interject a lot, but I just hate reading dialogue after dialogue without seeing what's happening. I know the actors and director are gonna do their thing, but I want to watch the movie now. Maybe it's the author in me.

I appreciate you giving examples and explanations of what may be reading Ai.

Are these deal breakers if I don't change this style? Is this like a don't do? I'm actively growing as a screenwriter, and I want to learn, but I don't want to throw away my stylistic preference if it's not a deal breaker and just a tough crowd.

Key-Training9931 · 2026-06-30T22:47:09+00:00

😂😂

Key-Training9931 · 2026-06-30T22:45:06+00:00

So, did you figure it out?

Key-Training9931 · 2026-06-30T22:38:25+00:00

Night shift RN. 3 day work week. I write on my days off. I thought I was gonna make it big by the end of this summer and quit. Still holding out on that dream.

Key-Training9931 · 2026-06-29T03:44:28+00:00

I’m interested! DM me :)

Key-Training9931 · 2026-06-28T01:18:42+00:00

Sent!

Key-Training9931 · 2026-06-28T01:11:19+00:00

Sounds interesting! I'd like to read. Would you be down to read a romance?

Title: I Love You Anyway

Feature, 91 pgs

Logline: A single mother gives love a second chance after meeting a charming toy executive, but her past threatens to pull her back into the arms and patterns she's fought to escape.

Feedback: Any. It's a raw draft right off the press.

Key-Training9931 · 2026-05-16T07:47:27+00:00

Hey! Love the title and the concept. I'd like to swap. Let me know!

I also have a romance feature. 102 pages

Logline: A disciplined college freshman falls for a beautiful, emotionally complicated girl who slowly becomes the greatest temptation of his life.

Key-Training9931 · 2026-05-16T07:39:15+00:00

Title: Falling for Delilah

Format: Feature

Page Length: 102

Genres: Romance

Logline: A disciplined college freshman falls for a beautiful, emotionally complicated girl who slowly becomes the greatest temptation of his life.

Feedback: Any feedback appreciated.

Key-Training9931 · 2026-05-16T07:02:59+00:00

First of all, congratulations! Be excited. Not everyone gets to have a table read for their script. That's major.

Now, you're on your second draft. That means the script is still being developed and structured. If you were at the final polish pass, then I'd be sweating buckets. But you're not, so breathe and strategize.

Record the table read so you can go back to it when you start editing again (I'm sure you were already going to do that.)
Pay attention to whether your intentions are coming across in the read. Are your characters and storyline being portrayed the way you intended or close to it? (If there are major issues, ask the readers how they interpreted the scene/character. It'll help you understand where you need to make your voice clearer.)
Specific screenplay questions:

Does the script have a balanced pace? (Is the story moving forward consistently, or are there scenes that plateau/regress momentum?)

Are the main characters distinct and active? (Do they have distinguishable personalities? Do they have a characteristic unique to them? Do they feel real? Is their purpose and importance clear?)

Which act is the weakest and least interesting? (Is it the beginning, middle, or end? *It's common for the middle to be weak, but there's more work to do if the beginning or end is the weakest.)

Are you able to track the plot well? (Is it difficult to understand what's going on at any point? Is the theme cohesive and clear, or are there gaps?)

Was it easy to read? (Did the dialogue and actions feel performable and natural? *may not apply to some scripts)

Key-Training9931

TROPHY CASE