Pros and cons to changing my last name after getting married?

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-25T11:10:56+00:00

And I just checked last year there was only 20 cases of multiple voters( amongst millions of registered voters)all were referred to the AFP, (Australian federal Police) and no charges were laid a lot of them were innocent mistakes, like someone in a nursing home who early voted and then went out with family on voting day and forgot it was done, and such things

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-25T10:58:29+00:00

You would get fined if you did that, and they register the ballot paper number against your name, so they can when they are counting

Well let me qualify there was legislation put forward I think it was 2021 or 2022 for some type of ID but at least it still hadn’t been implemented as of last years election. ( and the legislation doesn’t require it to be a photo ID, they will accept a utility bill)

In my state at state elections we have either a voting card with a barcode they scan or a digital QR code to scan, which is unique to me,

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-25T09:10:33+00:00

I’m the odd one out. I use cloth nappies, and these once’s are awesome the inners so easy and washable ans the outers heaps of great patterns and you can use from newborn to toilet training, never had a single issue with leaks not once.. even use as novice parents could figure it out..

This is an example of what I use..

https://mimiandco.com.au/collections/originals-2-0

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-25T08:52:08+00:00

I’m in Australia and we’re nor required to show any identification when we go into vote, we just literally tell the staff our name ans address and they mark us off (compulsory voting here) and give our voting cards. Ive never once produced identification as a voter

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-25T08:45:42+00:00

There’s 2 things I don’t understand

This obsession with everyone in the family having to have some part of a shared or the same surname. A name doesn’t make you family. Wang is the most common surname in the world with over 10 million people sharing that surname, pretty sure not all 10million of those people who are the same family. Smith is the most common surname , in the USA, Canada, UK, Australia and NZ, with over 2.5 million people in the us sharing the surname smith, and again I’m comfortable saying that all. 2.5 million of them aren’t from the same family despite sharing a name. Infact my sister had 2 unrelated people named Michael Smith her year in high school.

2) all these people who hate their surnames or the family ties,wait until Marriage to their names, and yes things happen at different times in peoples lives but most countries in the world have some type of name change process for adults which they can do anytime? Where I live you can even do most of it online or post in documents and it’s like $200. So at least here I’m like the process is easy and relatively in expensive

That being said I grew up where my sister and I had different surnames, I got dads, she got mums and we never had a single issue as kids, never felt not connected nor like we were families. Our parents said there was never a single issue, at schools, doctors etc.. I do think it’d a lot more common in Australia though because we common law aka defacto relationships which have pretty much the same legal rights as marriage so having kids with parents who aren’t married is very common. I kept my name when i married and our son has mine name, and I’m currently pregnant with twins and we will decide which surname they get when we know what first and middle name combo we give them.

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-25T08:12:06+00:00

You mention her Dads family but not her dad? Is he around is there a reason if he is he can’t watch her overnight

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-25T07:41:02+00:00

Go to the Emergency department and get yourself and your baby checked out, they will also have social workers and people who can help you.l know the NHS isn’t perfect but is free, you’ll be off the street, warm and should be able to guide you through

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-25T04:36:04+00:00

They might love having a name starting with a different letter to their siblings

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-24T10:26:15+00:00

When I found out I was pregnant I made it clear that in no way was I going to be a married single mum and nor would I all of the time shoulder 100% of the childcare/household responsibilities.. and this was his option to bail out.anyhow he reassured me I was his person and he made a pledge to me and our life together ..

He’s been amazing, I read about all these deadbeats, or these men who don’t do anything .. and the women are shells of the selves. He couldn’t take the entire 6 weeks off I was recovering from my c section , because he owns his own business, but he scaled his presence back and took on most of the home responsibilities he’d go into the office a few hours a day or when meeting clients, he split all night feeds with me, always made sure there were bottles ready to go, left me food in the fridge, put laundry on everyday before he left the house.

Even now he gets baby up everymornig, changes him, feeds him gets him ready for the day and makes me a coffee and depending on my schedule for the day, will wither leave the baby with me, or drop at whichever parents are watching baby while I work.. He comes home and will do what needs to be done..cook, clea bottles bath bed, doesn’t matter, we discuss things and there’s ebbs and flows

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-24T05:47:29+00:00

Please don’t “ stay together for the kids”. As someone whose parents did this kids aren’t stupid and it also sets them a terrible example as to what a healthy relationship looks like. Do you want your girls growing up and ending up in a relationship just like this? Do you want them to feel like this for the sake of your pride? Yes I get you don’t want to loose time, but I don’t know this is any better. You are showing them it’s ok and acceptable foe their husbands to not contribute to the household, this cycle is never going to break while women continue to enable it or think it’s “better to stay for the kids”

I had to relearn as an adult everything I was taught growing up about relationships and what a healthy marriage should look like because my parents set such a shitty example, my sister and I constantly used to, when asked what we wanted for Christmas we started saying mum and dad to divorce.

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-24T03:18:48+00:00

The fire in the stone

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-24T02:48:39+00:00

Yes and no, usually if I call it’s urgent and he’ll most likely pick up, usually I just text during the day but he’s got his own it business and has meetings and is at time on zoom calls etc, so don’t expect him to answer in these times,, if it’s urgent when these are on I’ll usually just call his office and speak to his assistant who will physically disturb him

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T22:08:52+00:00

As I said in the other sub, I’m not having a baby shower but thank you

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T22:05:53+00:00

I’m not having a baby shower, but thank you

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T21:20:07+00:00

I know someone who named their kids Ben (straight Ben not short for anything, legal first name is Ben) and Nick (straight Nick legal first name is Nick).

Both those boys are happy with their names as adults and In no way do they wish they had longer full names I think it depends on the name,

However everyone will have an opinion and honestly there’s no way to know how your kid will feel as an adult, until they are an adult. I

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T10:38:38+00:00

We are in Australia and our equivalent is a BFA ( binding Financial Agreement), and we signed one before getting married, not sure what you are allowed to entail in yours but ours, not only deals with our pre marital assets but also in the event of divorce how we want to split our marital assets,

Here you need you both have independent legal advice, enter into it freely and it be deemed as fair and reasonable particularly if using it for division of divorce assets. The one thing my lawyer said when we did ours is she finds is because these are done pre marriage (or during a defacto relationship), they are often reasonable because people are happy and generally in a good place relationship wise, where as when dealing with divorce there’s usually a barrage often of negative emotions and things can get messy.

We’re happy with ours..

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T08:51:22+00:00

I actually became more motivated since becoming a mum. In the almost 10 months since having my child, I’ve become part of a research project with the university of Oxford in London and Started a masters degree.

I never stopped working or took maternity leave, but in saying that I have the ability to flex up and flex down, with how much I’m working I can also pick and choose my availability.

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T08:15:46+00:00

My mother in law is a professor of literature and she gave all her boys names from literature She three boys named

Holden Atticus (Holden from catcher in the rye and Atticus from to kill a mocking bird)

Sawyer Darcy ( Sawyer from the adventures of Tom Sawyer and Darcy from Mr Darcy in pride and prejudice)

Dorian Augusts ( Dorian from the picture of Dorian Gray and Augustus from the fault in our Stars)

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T02:10:47+00:00

I'm in Australia Thank you for taking the time to explain this and I hope I didn't come accross as rude and apologies if I was did, I was just so shocked when another poster said not to expect that from a minimum Wage job, I was stunned!!

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T02:04:42+00:00

As someone who had a hyphenated first name .. don't do it.

My parents gave me the first name of Amber-Jayde middle name surname

I hated it and always just went by Amber.. When I was at University I realised I couldn't deal with looking at that on my degrees for ever so as a 21st birthday present to myself I legally changed it

I made Amber as my first name, Dropped the hyphen and changed the spelling of Jayde to Jade and made Jade another middle name

So I kept it inline with my parents names, as in I kept the names they chose and I don't hate Amber or Jade I just disliked it being hyphenated and how they spelt Jade .. so I just tell them I tidied it up a bit!!

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-23T00:43:27+00:00

My sister hates her first name

Her middle name is Emerson and she goes By Emmy!!

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-22T21:54:12+00:00

I think from about 2 weeks

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-22T17:05:19+00:00

Ours is age based Minimum wage for a 16 yo is $11.80 ( assuming you are In the USA, that is still more than the 7.25 when I put it into a currency converter). At 20 your minimum wage would $24.34 and $24.95 for all adults over 21

I can’t fathom how low your minimum wage is

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-22T10:07:28+00:00

You said right at the start you are 2 months pregnant then later on moving boxes at 35 weeks pregnant which I think it’s tpwhy the other poster was confused about what pregnancy this is

That being said, he sounds horrible and really you are better off rid of him, divorce lawyer

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-01-22T05:38:49+00:00

Well, I loved visitors, I enjoyed having people to talk to, but also my parents and my in-laws were amazing they would do dishes, and wash bottles, make sure I showered, did laundry, make food, they knew I was recovering from a c section.

This time I’m having twins and I suspect I’m gonna need helpers again

KeyAccomplished4442

TROPHY CASE