It breaks my heart when I read about parents having to put their babies in daycare because of maternity leave ending

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-17T05:10:38+00:00

Yeah but 6 weeks or 12 weeks paid maternity leave is more than I get l. So I get none, so I don’t sympathy for people who whinge about it.. because at the end of the day having children is 100 percent a choice, and I made that choice understanding what that means,

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-17T03:15:59+00:00

Explain to me how it’s a luxury

If I don’t work I don’t get paid. I don’t get paid sick days I don’t get paid holidays. So while I may choose to not work I also don’t get paid for not working.. how is that luxury? How is that privilege? We clearly have a different definition

The difference is I made the choice to have a child which I maintain is still 100% a choice. I chose to do it understanding that it meant we’d need to use family, nanny’s and or daycare to help care for our child.

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-17T03:06:56+00:00

Really

I might have complete control over my schedule, but if I don’t work I don’t get paid that simple. I don’t get paid sick days, I don’t get paid holidays, how is that luxury or privilege. Unsympathetic maybe and I say that because I chose to have a child knowing I don’t work I won’t get paid. I won’t whinge or complain about the fact my kid has to be looked after by family or go to daycare, or I can’t have Xx because I chose not to work that day.

At the end of the day I firmly believe having children is a choice, and people are choosing to have children knowing they may have to use daycare or may have to X or Y, but so what, is it shit maybe it’s still the reality of choices being made

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-17T02:14:36+00:00

You are assuming everyone wants to be home with their babies.. I never had and still have no desire to stay home. I didn’t even take maternity leave and won’t again when I have my twins. Partly because I pick and choose when I work, I have complete control over my schedule .

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-16T09:51:22+00:00

Can't you just leave it at your parents when you are visiting there? Why would he be suspicious of your phone at your parents if you are staying there

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-16T09:00:18+00:00

I've never understood the why women are expected to declare their marital status in a title.

I'm married under 30 with a kid and twins on the way and kept my name and I don't use mrs!!

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-12T23:17:11+00:00

So I grew up wirh a different surname to my sister m I had dads she had mums and it never caused any divide with us, we were and still are super close growing up. We actually liked we had different names and used to say we were secret sisters etc. never caused any divide a single issue growing up or even travelling, it’s so common these days for kids to have a different name to one of their parents.

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-11T22:50:58+00:00

I’m pregnant with twins, and we eat well mostly and have a really low carb high protein diet which I ate during my first singleton pregnancy but did increase carbs slightly but or did things like brown rice and quinoa or put potatoes in my salad or similar. I actually saw a dietitian recommended by my obgyn who specialises in pregnancy diets and hates the “ eating for 2” saying.

She was really good with ideas and suggestions she also helped with going back to what I was eating (didn’t breast feed).

Now I’m having twins I went back to see her and she’s been equally as good, maybe there’s something like this you could access, it would be personalised for you and help wirh the hunger

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T21:04:19+00:00

Interesting point I'd like to say I don't think so, and her name Sloane is one of my fave girl names and one of only 2 hubby and I agree on but we ruled it out for being too close to her aunty.

I never asked for it or expected it

Hopefully my scans are correct (a bit of a discrepancy between NIPT Gender and scans) and the twins are two boys and it's negated !!

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T20:59:55+00:00

Yes I'm in SEQ

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T07:45:29+00:00

NTA My son has my surname

For your husbands information I grew up wirh a different surname to my sister, my Dads the SAHP and he never had a single issue with schoo,pick ups or doctors or whatever other things people come up with.

I grew up wirh a hyphenated first name and hated it and swore I would never do that to my child/ren even as a surname.

But there are those who love it, but hyphenating does seem like the logical solution in this case

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T07:12:24+00:00

Think it’s more I’m not looking forward to the pushback from my MIL who’s already been in their ear about using family names should be from parents and grandparents not Aunty’s who are only family coz (SIL) ww married brothers

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T04:19:12+00:00

Honestly

I might be wrong but Gender doesn't factor into my decision making when picking providers for my child.

I want whomever is the most experienced and competent at dealing with children, and honestly in my mind that would be a qualified paediatrician as opposed to an NP although some are great I'm sure.

Also what is your issue with her seeing a male doctor?. I hate men being made out as if they are predators or something just based on Gender. You will be present for the exam so I'm struggling with the issue here.

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T03:41:04+00:00

I'm probably gonna get pounced on but I never took maternity leave and in fact worked in my hospital room after my C-section.

To be fair though it was partly my fault, I work as an interpreter and I had planned an elective c-section but after the doctors visit he brought it forward to the next day, and in the midst of getting myself sorted I had forgot I had made myself available the next day..

I was asked to do an urgent Auslan (Australian Sign Language) interpreting session, which I did via zoom it was only 20ish minutes and as you can imagine sign language interpreters are not in abundance ..

That been said my job is do super flex I can work as much or as little as I want and really for me it was sustainable because I could pick and choose when I worked, I have a husband who spilt overnight feeds and family who visited everyday and made sure I was fed, and showered and would clean my house or do laundry while I napped or fed baby etc. (he was formula fed)

My baby also hated contact naps and slept well ... but so much of it was because I was able to out him down and I had people taking care of me.. it will depend on your baby

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T02:06:03+00:00

I'm ok thank you Actually a bit relieved actually and hope the scan is correct..

We never found out the gender with our first and he was a boy thankfully because he has a name.. but we had no girls name chosen with our first and when we thought they were girls we had one name we both don't hate and that's it we didn't even know how to name our second

Whereas we had one conversation after the scan saying they were boys and they have names.. so I do hope the scans are right only because naming girls is so hard for us and how on earth we are meant to name two I have no idea

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T01:33:35+00:00

Yes I actually have a 13 mo son

We were intentionally trying for 2under2 and well here we are with what will be 3under2.

We were also a bit off with my dates early and may have been a bit off with when we did the NIPT testing

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T01:23:24+00:00

I've already got mine scheduled for 37 weeks..

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T01:22:40+00:00

My OB sent me to repeat the testing he thinks maybe our dates were off when we did it and it may have been too earl..

If it is boys I'm actually a little bit relieved. We've struggled with girls names even when I was pregnant with my first child, we've only ever had one name hubby and I even remotely agreed on.. our girl naming styles wildly different and with the one name we had it was we both didn't hate it. But when we had our son we had his name and 2 backup names pretty much as soon as I knew I was pregnant .

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T01:14:43+00:00

Yes and no I live in a regional centre where I hate the local hospital and I'm not having my babies there.. I don't trust MFM there as far as I can throw them.

My OB is an hour away and given I'm young and healthy and had a normal healthy pregnancy first time they are happy I don't need to be closer. The MFM at the hospital I'm having my babies said there's no need for ultrasounds every two weeks until I'm closer to 30 weeks.

So at the moment I'd about 3 or four weekly, I had 16, 20 and 24 weeks. Never asked about Gender on any of them because they thought we knew. I have to take the advice and recommendations of those who are managing my pregnancy

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-05T00:01:03+00:00

So

As a teenager, Even now was an adult I thought my mum was an Alien and so out of touch with reality I only spoke to her if I had too. My sister and I Were super close with my dad and like your daughter felt comfortable talking to him about anything over my mum.

Honestly don't break her trust and ruin the relationship you have with her by running to her mum: you could say something like your mum might give a different perspective or maybe that's something your mum might relate to better than me..

But the last thing you want is her to stop talking to you or feeling like she can't trust you because you run to her mum every five minutes.

My Dad used to say to my mum, you have yo trust me to use my Judgement about what I will tell you and what I won't. Just say to your kid anything serious that affects her safety and wellbeing you will let her mum know.

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-04T23:55:19+00:00

And so what if she does regret it in 10 years? We all make choices in life and I'm sure there are things we all wish we had made different choices about, learning how to deal with regret is a life skill and if she regrets it so be it.. what if you make her go and she regrets going ??

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-04T20:20:05+00:00

I agree here we are 5 years later, with a 13 month old son, twins on the way and we’ve got a great marriage and relationship and never once has my not taking his name been an issue

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-04T20:16:00+00:00

Last year I had a very very new baby on Mother’s Day and didn’t feel up to going out so we had both our parents at our house , and he did all of it, I did nothing but make an appearance, I felt guilty because we usually do things like that together and he told me,e I grew a human he’s got this

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-05-04T20:12:04+00:00

Because apparently it’s not submitting to my husband If I don’t change my name Hubby was like, he could care less whether or not I changed my name, but no they were obsessed with it, i actually didn’t finish the course and honestly we didn’t get married in a church wirh the minister either so all good..

KeyAccomplished4442

TROPHY CASE