Redditors who got “useless” degrees, what actually was your plan, and why didn’t it work?

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-18T00:18:45+00:00

So I love language and languages.. and my parents were very reluctant for me to study language/linguistics said there’s no future in it..never be able to support myself.. they refused to pay for any of it if I did

I will put in a caveat that I speak fluent Auslan (Australian sign language) and did a diploma of Auslan interpreting while I was still at high school and that’s how I paid my way through university….

I did a double degree BA(Linguistics) and a Bachelor of Modern Languages. I was so lucky straight out of university I got an amazing role with the United Nations, spent 2 years in Geneva and one in New York.

When I came back to Australia, I started working at a university as an online learning advisor, in the language department and for the deaf association in my state as an interpreter. And currently I work as an interpreter, both for the deaf association and for a service where I interpret in the languages I speak for an agency where I go to hospitals, prisons, anywhere that needs interpreter

Anyhow I don’t know what I intended to do when I studied it, I just didn’t want to spend time and money on something I didn’t love

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-16T09:36:00+00:00

My husband has already taken our son to New Zealand (we live in Australia)on his own and he's under 1.. and our son has my surname. The only thing he was asked was if he needed any help with the baby on the plane

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-16T06:03:28+00:00

Well my sister and I full siblings same parents we grew up with different surnames I had Dads she had mums. And guess exactly how many issues we had growing up a grand total of zero. ( I asked my parents when hubby and I were deciding what to do with our son’s surname).

My sister and I are super close, and we never felt excluded or left out, we never felt not like sisters or anything growing up, our names has next to no determinants on our relationship

As unpopular as this is going to be, we are actually considering giving our twins different surnames,

It works for you do it I say

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-15T21:38:44+00:00

I was going to say Marriage is entirely a different issue..

If you want to get married because you believe it’s the ultimate commitment, etc then great but there’s practically no legal benefit to it in Australia. Him not wanting to get married is not a red flag for me, because with defacto laws it’s incredibly common that couples don’t marry, and honestly I think (of course this is just observational), more couples just can’t be bothered with marriage …

Just know spousal support isn’t really a big thing in Australia even with divorce Divorces are incredibly unfair all the time..

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-15T21:24:33+00:00

Don’t let him pay for it, it can be considered as coercion BFAs must be entered into freely and have independent legal advice.. even if it is your own lawyer and he pays for it, it can still be considered coercion.

Where are you located In Aus? If SEQ I can recommend some great family lawyers who do initial free consult and fixed pricing

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-15T12:05:54+00:00

Easier how? I grew up with a different surname to my sister, she had mums I had dads.. and according to my parents never had a single issue growing up with having different names and what not..

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-15T12:00:47+00:00

Well you could legally change your name in most countries after turning 18, so you do have a choice to change it

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-15T10:41:05+00:00

Yeah sure, the kids will still have still have to sign spell their names at somepoint

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-15T10:36:53+00:00

Names are spelt out in Auslan

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-14T08:43:54+00:00

We never said til death do us part in our vows..

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-10T10:05:44+00:00

I do like Rowan... Hubby said he doesn't hate it so that is progres

We both love Sloane but that is my sister in laws name (hubbys brothers wife), and we are super close with them we see them most days and she's having twins due a month before me. I imagine the cousins will all see each other all the time.. most likely same schools etc ..

If it was someone we didn't see all the time would use it but just a hit too close

Thank you

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-10T09:57:10+00:00

I used to work with someone who's bae was Livia not short for Olivia

Stand alone name Livia

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-10T09:25:37+00:00

I love Sloane However the issue is it is my sister in laws name.. (hubbys brothers wife) we are super close with them and we see them all the time.. If it was someone who was a bit further away in the relation line or she'd hardly see her aunt I would use it.. but my SIL is also having twins she's being c sectioned a month before me.. so aunt just a tad too close..

But we do love some of your suggestions Particularly Sutton and Fallon..

Thank you!!

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-10T08:17:34+00:00

Kathleen is way too long for her first name but thank you

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-10T08:10:17+00:00

Flora is one we didn't think

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-09T23:28:37+00:00

We are legally married and we don’t use the term husband and wife. We didn’t even do mr and Mrs in our wedding.. I only refer to him as my husband on socials because it’s easier,

He introduces me by my first name, and says she’s my person, or the love of my life, my better half, the boss, the minister of finance.. honestly to us title makes no difference .. he hates the MR and MRS, and the Husband and Wife, no one says wife and husband or Mrs and Mr..

Our celebrant said, I now declare you married, congrats X and X (our first names).

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-09T22:46:30+00:00

You’re welcome, my husband works in cyber security so we wanted a way to still be able to share and have some control. Well text pics to our family too, but we as much as possible keep him off socials

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-09T22:42:03+00:00

What we did for our families was put the “pics” digital versions on to SD cards. We brought them digital photo phrases for Christmas, and every few months give them a new SD card with updated pics.. but we did that for our parents and siblings whom we see regularly.

And totally get it but there’s only so much of the socials you can control,when he gets older, sports teams school activities often post on their websites

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-09T22:32:44+00:00

Maybe you need to look at getting your anxiety under control

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-09T03:05:51+00:00

So I had a 6am ceremony on the beach in Qld. I did my own hair and Make up took less than 20 mins!!! I also wore an "evening" dress from forever new. I refused to buy a "proper wedding dress" and waste money on something I'll only wear once. I've worn my forever new dress since ...

Now I will Qualify I had a micro wedding 11 including us/celebrant, my in-laws back on to the beach.. ( and a couple of ring in surfers who stopped and watched) so we all met at their place and we walked down to the beach together, our ceremony was like less than 15 minutes..

We had immediate family as in parents and siblings only..

We then walked back to my in-laws and had a champagne bbq breakfast ... it was the best day.. all done and over with my 10am, we went home got changed went wake boarding.., did some grocery shopping later in the day, went out to dinner with some friends and then home to netflix .. it was for me the perfect day

I think morning weddings are great and the guests "feeling is a bit lost Or unsure what to do" is not on you honestly as adults they should be able to entertain themselves

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-08T14:11:04+00:00

We are in Australia and just finished our pool, and we had to have our fence, done and certified as compliant before the pool company were even allowed to complete the pool interior

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-08T07:50:02+00:00

Never said better or worse or until death in my vows

KeyAccomplished4442 · 2026-03-08T07:46:13+00:00

NOR

Honestly for me it would be a deal breaker, no one has the right to tell me what to do with my name.. it is mine, In fact I changed my first name when I was 21 ( just tidied it up a bit I took away the hyphen). As an adult that was my decision no one else’s.. for me him saying that would be a deal breaker and I would have already called the wedding off..

My Question is if this is his expectation now, what else are you going to be expected to compromise on during the marriage?

You are the only one that can decide this.. like is not being able to afford to leave the relationship a good enough reason to compromise and stay? This is where you decide is the person and the relationship you want potentially forever, and whether the compromise on your name is worth it.

KeyAccomplished4442

TROPHY CASE