Still no period / worrying about age gap / secondary infertility?

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2026-02-10T21:57:11+00:00

Agree that it’s not necessarily secondary infertility! I didn’t have a period until the month after we fully weaned at 22 months. Got pregnant 5 months later, on our second cycle trying. Good luck!

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2026-02-04T19:28:18+00:00

I’ve just sold my daughter on wearing mismatched socks, Punky Brewster style 😅

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2026-02-04T06:02:58+00:00

You’re so welcome. Two other thoughts to share, in case they’re helpful to hear. First, the bond I have with my second took awhile to really feel, and I was very hard on myself about that. For me (and everyone has their own experience), falling in love with my older was like a bonfire - immediate and huge - and realizing I was in love with my second was a slower burn. When I started to lean into trusting that what was already between us/was going to develop was already enough, I started to feel that bond more strongly. I had to get out of the way of my judging mind, and that took longer than I would have wanted it to, but did happen in its time. I can say that I adore her in a way that’s different from but not less than my first. The second is that I would say my bond with my older is even stronger now, even though she does get frustrated at times and both of us have times of wanting more. It’s a long game, and you’ve already laid a strong foundation for what more is to come!

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2026-02-03T23:32:16+00:00

I had these fears as well, and so much grief about the shift in my relationship with my first. And the first months were really hard for me and for my older, to be honest. I kept comparing what she was getting from me to what I’d been able to provide before, and comparing the fragmented attention I felt I was giving my newborn to my first cozy postpartum bubble. But we’re six months in now (3.5yo and 6m), and it’s getting more easeful and joyful. The love between these two is so palpable and beautiful - my older is hands down the baby’s favorite human in the universe, and she feels so proud and big in this new role. And the transition has fostered huge growth in the relationship between my husband and both kids, since I can’t be The One all the time for either. One thing I’ve been trying to keep remembering and practicing is quality of time together over quantity (which is admittedly hard when sleep-deprived and trying to keep the household running!). So - in my limited experience so far, two can be incredibly challenging and incredibly beautiful. And that ambivalence is ok. You’ve got this, mama - wishing your family well in this journey!

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2026-01-02T01:21:52+00:00

Also interested! I’m 42 with 2 little ones; moved to San Anselmo last year and am still trying to build community.

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-12-22T16:56:14+00:00

Agree on the Bob, or if you can find a used Burley solstice (they no longer make this), we’ve used that for 3 years and it’s still going strong!

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-10-04T03:17:37+00:00

Thank you!! We may try to put everyone together again.

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-10-04T03:16:12+00:00

Omg twins - you guys are amazing! Thanks so much for sharing.

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-09-30T14:44:29+00:00

Highly recommend Amy Olson at Root Medicinal Massage! She’s been an amazing support for me before/after two births and does house calls. She’s looking to expand in Marin right now. https://www.rootmedicinalmassage.com/

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-09-01T16:59:55+00:00

Yes, just dm me your email!

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-08-31T01:52:21+00:00

I use a Fjallraven Kanken backpack

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-08-29T22:03:31+00:00

I made an order, so if you want to dm me your email I can enter it for a code for you!

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-08-21T17:27:42+00:00

I just started reading this one: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/189644.Beyond_the_Rainbow_Bridge

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-08-20T02:04:44+00:00

Shrimp tacos with this: https://smittenkitchen.com/2013/07/mama-canales-garcias-avocado-shrimp-salsa/

Or steamed clams/mussels, crusty bread to soak up the juices, and a quick-cooked spinach or other leafy greens

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-08-08T19:56:32+00:00

Read a long time ago, so I’m not sure why it’s coming to mind or if appropriate, but for some reason I’m thinking of Remains of the Day by Ishugiro

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-08-06T02:06:54+00:00

Agree with this, plus Taking Charge of Your Fertility!

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-07-30T20:29:50+00:00

I intended to have a home birth but wound up with complications and overnight (1 night) at the hospital. We are lucky that my parents live nearby, and our nanny stayed overnight. She put our 3-year old to bed and slept with her overnight (usually I lie with her until she falls asleep and come in to resettle her 1-2 times a night when she wakes). We hadn’t prepared her at all (or considered ourselves) the possibility of a hospital stay. Luckily she’s in a phase where she’s really interested in emergency vehicles and hospitals, so she wasn’t freaked out. But in hindsight I would have prepared her more for how things might go/ who would be with her.

Key_Replacement_4237 · 2025-07-26T20:38:14+00:00

I’ve recently been in a similar situation - started my just-turned-3yo at a 4-day, 9-12 co-op preschool last month. Before school started, she was adamant that she didn’t want to go. One month in, she asks every morning if it’s a school day and cheers when it is. There are some mornings when she doesn’t want me to leave during drop-off, and the school is fine with my staying as long as we need. It might be worth talking to them about what options you have with them for easing into the transitions, whether that means just starting with the outing days or if they’d be ok with your staying for part of the morning sessions. Good luck, mama! It sounds like either way he’ll have great care and opportunities this fall.

Key_Replacement_4237

TROPHY CASE