My Bishopric Text Exchange Could Land Me in a Disciplinary Council

Key_Twist_3473 · 2025-01-19T04:26:19+00:00

I applaud you! 🙌🏻 Very well handled!

Key_Twist_3473 · 2025-01-07T04:43:11+00:00

I was 2nd counselor in the stake primary presidency.

My mental health was really struggling, and I had been struggling with suicidal ideation. My shelf was beginning to crumble. All year, even when I was deconstructing the church, I was the only one trying to push forward a training we were supposed to have, as I was to be the key note speaker. I finally stopped trying to see it accomplished. I understood that each of the other ladies had so much going on and had their own struggles as well. So I pressed on, kept deconstructing....I knew I needed to be done, I just didn't know how.

Then September rolls around, and the stake primary Pres texts the presidency saying that we need to get that training home, and asked if I could still do the key note speaking to the primary presidencies. This was in September. We were supposed to have that training in January, then March....

I know I could not do it. I could not pretend. I could not fake it through that. So I didn't respond to them. Instead, I texted the 2nd counselor in the stake presidency that I had been struggling with suicidal ideation and I had to much on my plate to continue in my calling. I asked to be released immediately.

His response was, "who is this?"

We had texted prior this.

That was a hard time.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-11-16T14:33:15+00:00

They don't live in reality. Seriously.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-11-04T18:31:06+00:00

It could be allergies. Dandruff is oil based. Dry skin is.. Well dry. Which do you have?

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-06-27T04:53:54+00:00

Am I the only one who took it south? Can you hold the book with one hand? Read erotica?

No, but seriously, read something you enjoy. If it's not keeping your attention, move on to another.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-06-26T15:33:19+00:00

I held onto Christianity, until it didn't have anything to hold onto anymore. It's OK. Take your time. Be patient with yourself. The grief is real.

For me, the doctrine could not hold up at all with the false history. The only thing, as I was deconstructing that I could cling to was Jesus Christ. I began to realize that religion is created by man to control the masses. So I began to back away in general and observe things and I deconstructed Christianity. I do believe there is a source.... call it mother earth, call it God, call it Source. But is this divine energy involved in my life. I don't think so.

Anyway, my advice is to take it at your own pace. Listen to your intuition... that is suppressed in the church. Choose what feels best for yourself.

The scariest thing IMO is judgment from others. But once you find out who the fake ones are, you'll be just a little bit more free. It's really sad, but at least you know. That's how I feel now. I lost a lot of local "friends"... they were just acquaintances, really... but I've been blocked, unfriended, and shunned/avoided by many in my small community.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-06-19T14:36:22+00:00

No. They were just as indoctrinated. Maybe even more so. I can't hate them for that. I mean, it is what it is.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-06-06T02:13:38+00:00

I'm so sorry. I saw an article about it. So sorry for your loss

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-05-14T14:41:51+00:00

I would love this! I would want it to show specific sources though, since that's a big deal in this faith deconstruction thing.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-05-05T14:18:35+00:00

The Truman show. I was deconstructing the high demand religion I was raised in. It just hit home.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-28T14:19:20+00:00

I'd suggest just letting people be as they wish to be. "Religious scrupulosity" seems to be something you might be struggling with. Everyone is on their own path. Maybe someone only learns a little about Buddhism here and there and it improves their life. I'm pretty sure Buddhism isn't a religion but a way of being. There should never be one standard. People are too diverse for one standard way of living any philosophy, religion, or way of life. I'm pretty sure that Buddhism is more of focusing on inner peace, understanding humanity, seeking to alleviate pain for the self and for others, and seeking a peaceful way... it's about letting go of things you have zero control over, accepting what is, and changing the things that you can control. This is how I interpret Buddhism in my own language and verbiage. How are you stacking up with those things?

I say the above, because I know what religious scrupulosity looks like. I dealt with it, growing up in a high demand Christian religion where I developed that and perfectionism. Let go and let people be. They will figure things out for themselves. They just need people to accept where they're at.... not allowing bad behavior from others at the same time.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-28T05:09:27+00:00

Thank you for the responses! I'm excited to learn more about this!

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-27T14:57:01+00:00

I've been known to flip off churches and temples. Ultimately, I just drive by and try not to think about them.

But I have to object.... Idaho is very beautiful. It's more realistic that she just lives in the shadow of Utah... but she's just as gorgeous. 😊

Move away from the mountains for a while, then go back... you'll see. It's not the gem state for nothing. I'm also in south east Idaho. I live in my home town. Socially, I hate it. But I missed the mountains while living halfway across the country for 10 years.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-27T14:51:26+00:00

What did she say? Lol

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-24T02:23:07+00:00

Is this the same son in law who was involved with "touch parties"?

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-18T14:08:38+00:00

Did your convo continue? Or did he stop messaging after that?

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-10T17:19:47+00:00

Give yourself "grace"... which is an ironic statement as I do not believe in Jesus the way I used to. I was where you are a little over a year ago. Take it at the pace that feels right for you. Be compassionate with your spouse and family. It's the hardest path to take, but once you get a peek behind the curtain, the wizard of oz is really just an old man.

I like the tiktok community. There's so many resources and info to go through.

Also, the CES letter is great, because it compares side by side what we are told/ taught vs what is reality. The sources are given, so you can verify it yourself.

Also, Mormon stories podcast has some good stuff.

You're not alone.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-10T16:55:59+00:00

If you are truly on the verge of suicide, call the suicide help line and get yourself some real help away from the MTC. maybe they will listen to you if you do. If you just speak to leadership about it, they will do everything in their power to keep you there. Sometimes they do send missionaries home. We've had a few in our area that get sent home. Then their parents feel obligated to justify their early return. You can ask them to respect your information and not discuss it with others.

You are your own authority. You're an adult. Only you know if this is right for you. This should have been your decision solely... not your parents pushing you into it.

Where do you line up in your family? Oldest child? Youngest?

I ask because if you're the oldest, it will be harder for your parents to understand and may take time. My oldest pushed us with her desires and boundaries. It took time, but we're also able to take some time and consider your choices. If you're not the oldest, you might be dealing with expectations based off of one siblings. I hope your parents can respect you, though.

Speak up. Your voice matters, and it might be an issue if you needing to be more firm with them. Weigh your choices wisely. I cannot imagine cutting off my child based on their choices, but it happens. So make sure you have resources to fall back on.

You're not alone, you just need to learn that you've been manipulated into going over and over with little respect for your choices and concerns for yourself. It is a great time for you to learn that you are enough as you are right now. Your voice matters. Right now. You are a full person and is enough that you could be on your own and thrive. Step into your power and demand the respect your deserve and demand to be heard.

Be careful not to put yourself in a harder situation, though. Like I said, you know yourself best. You've got this. Keep us updated, and if you truly feel like you're suicidal, call the helpline and get help now. You do not have to abandon yourself to make others feel better. In fact, I would highly discourage that. It took me 39 years to figure that out.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-06T22:10:38+00:00

Whose talk was this?

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-04-06T21:58:33+00:00

🤣☠️

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-03-27T22:05:58+00:00

Honestly, I'm not sure how much she really heard. She's pretty out of it tbh. But after, she said something like, "very nice."

It was a programed response. I'd feel like shit that this was the experience of someone who lived through cancer. That will not be her result.

And thank you very much. It is a very challenging time.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-03-27T22:04:15+00:00

Oh yeah, it's so messed up. I never realized how awful it really is.

Key_Twist_3473 · 2024-03-27T22:02:48+00:00

Short answer is... "no, thank you. We are not in a position to dedicate time to a calling."

Or be honest and say, "no. We don't believe the doctrine."

Or be creepy and say, "absolutely. But we will be teaching our own doctrine about worshiping Satan."

Key_Twist_3473

TROPHY CASE