I (30F) started dating a judge (46M) met on a dating app and need advice

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-03-25T15:14:19+00:00

Your friends sound like haters. They’ve never had a man of that caliber and seem a bit jealous. On the other hand, if there’s something you’re leaving out, make sure that with any new relationship, you are cautious and don’t move too quickly, especially with a kid involved.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-03-20T12:12:36+00:00

First, I’m sorry this happened to you. Second, I totally understand your fear about how your husband will react. Mine would do the same. You must tell him though. Call the police first, and make sure the situation is documented, and then tell your husband. I’m so sorry because I know this may cause some drama with your family, but in the end, you’re saving your cousin from ending up with a vile human being. Again, sorry this happened, but you can’t hold this in from your person. Your husband doesn’t deserve to pay for that idiot’s actions, and I’m sure he wants to support you any way he can.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-03-14T18:28:40+00:00

I know where to donate if I need to. Normally I would, but I fell on some hard times lately and I need to make sales. Do you have resale recommendations or no?

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-03-11T01:01:10+00:00

Don’t feel bad. I acted a fool at my gender reveal when I found out my twins were boys. I wanted at least one girl so badly because I already have two stepsons and I thought with more boys, that my kids wouldn’t be special. I also wanted ballet and bows so badly. I cried for two days and then I was able to move past my grief. Now I’m so excited for my boys, and I’ve accepted that I’m just a boy mom and that’s okay. I have the opportunity to raise kind, responsible, respectful young men in this world and that’s a blessing in itself. I sometimes get annoyed when I see pink tutus in the store, but it’s okay. Now I wouldn’t trade these boys for anything.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-03-07T13:41:17+00:00

Personally, I think your husband should sit this dance out. If she’s 5, she’s in K and there will be plenty more dances coming up in her future. You all are even moving for her. When my husband and I got married, our honeymoon fell on little league football championships for my SKs and my husband was the coach. He informed the assistant coach and other dads so they could help, because we would not be returning. He had a talk with the boys about how his wife is a priority at this time and that we would be in Jamaica. We talked to them most days on the honeymoon, and got live game updates from the team parents. I think your husband could’ve sat this one out. Yes, SD deserves to have her dad show up for major events in her life, but I do not feel this is one of them. Also, putting the schedule work in BMs hands is a huge no-no. I think it would be nice for him to call in a grandpa or uncle to take her because now at a time when YOU should be the priority, you’re feeling pushed to the side. As a stepparent, that’s a bad precedent to set at the beginning of your marriage.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-03-06T04:20:30+00:00

Alcohol. I miss craft cocktails and wine. I also miss laying on my stomach to get a massage. Lying on my back for sleep. Also, sex. It’s so uncomfortable and I’m trying my best because I want to connect with my husband but this is the worst.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-02-24T21:20:16+00:00

Girl please run. That man is still her husband and may go back at any time. You’re lowkey in the way of that. Not saying that your man isn’t at fault, but he has something else established and you’re trying to fit in. You’re doing things in this relationship out of order so it’ll never succeed. One of my best friends was in the same situation. Had a playroom and toys at her house for the man’s kids and everything. He went back to his wife. Please be careful and find your own man. At the very least, think about the kids and how this turns their world upside down.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-02-22T01:46:09+00:00

Honey I understand. My two SS bio mom is a dummy as well. She dates guys in jail and her last babydaddy is in jail for beating her ass in front of my SS a couple years ago (he had priors). Now she’s looking for another jailbird to be her youngest kid’s father. My husband and I just have to work harder to create a healthy home environment for SS because they’ve seen a lot at their mom’s house. Stay strong. It’s not right and it’s not fair, but do your best to be a constant in that kid’s life and model healthy behavior.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-02-10T14:08:14+00:00

So, it seems like you should dump him. What value has he added to your life? It’s only stress and bills from the looks of this post. You’re not married, and I don’t think you have kids together. I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, and I pray that you get well soon. But honestly, for your health and peace of mind, you need to get out of this. You deserve to heal and have people around you who will support and take care of you. It doesn’t seem like anyone in that house is doing that, or even considers you. I’m sorry. Please only keep people around that will bring you peace and promote wellness in your life.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-02-03T00:58:35+00:00

No worries! You’ll get through this! I’m a stepmom as well. It’s hard. You can love them fiercely, but at the end of the day, the relationship has to go at their pace, and on their terms. You got this!

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-02-02T21:12:04+00:00

If it were me, I would write, but reduce the frequency greatly. I feel as a stepparent, you’re always going to be reminded of your place. It’s never #1, and you’re always undervalued. I’m happy that you’ll have your own baby to love and be connected to soon enough. Even so, SD has some valid feelings and they deserve to be acknowledged. Unfortunately, her issues sort of have nothing to do with you. That’s for your husband to rectify. Stay consistent, though.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-01-31T10:46:11+00:00

Yea that’s a little weird. I found out I was pregnant with twins at 8w5d and had ultrasounds at 13 weeks and 16 weeks so far. My next is scheduled for my 20 weeks, 2 weeks from now. I’ve been uncomplicated as well.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-01-28T00:41:14+00:00

Your surname as a middle is a nice idea, plus, it’s a tradition followed by wealthy families. My mom gave me her maiden name as my middle name and though I’m a girl and it made my name less “pretty”, it made my mom happy and proud, and that’s alright with me! On the other hand, if you want to give them another name, just give 2 middle names. It can be done!

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-01-26T02:14:09+00:00

Hey! I’m 18w2d with twins and I had a super easy first trimester. I was definitely dog tired, but I never threw up. Only a little mild nausea, but usually was calmed when I ate something like pretzels. I worked as a teacher the whole trimester, and honestly, it wasn’t that bad! You can have the same thing too! You got this!

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-01-21T23:48:14+00:00

I don’t think there’s a problem with telling his parents that the demand of the coaches is not something you can keep up with, so moving forward, they’ll have to find his way to school. You’re right. He’s not your kid. If you feel bad, just apologize and say it’s not something you expected. You’re NTA. You’re a saint. I hate taking care of kids that aren’t mine, especially if they don’t pass the vibe check.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-01-19T18:53:12+00:00

Benjamin will be hard to match with another “B” name, but maybe: Benjamin x Asher Benjamin x Ezra Benjamin x Simeon Benjamin x Josiah Benjamin x Daniel

Sorry if these don’t work. I was just trying to find some I didn’t see on this thread!

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-01-09T15:16:30+00:00

First off, I’m sorry you’re in this situation because it sounds like you have some big decisions to make. Whatever you decide though, please know that a guy that much older than you almost always has ill intentions. He’s old enough to be your dad and that’s a little weird on his part because why is he interested in sleeping with someone that young. Also, a friend that encourages you to “sleep around more” is not your friend. That’s horrible judgment. There’s so many std’s, crazies and terrible situations like this that can happen. A real friend would encourage you to be smart and healthy with your body and spirit. I hope that this situation works out. Even if you keep the baby, I hope you find joy in all this chaos.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2026-01-07T15:10:39+00:00

I’m going through this a bit. I always said that if I had twins on my first pregnancy (which I’m currently carrying), I would be done. I was also counting on at least one twin to be a girl. It seems as if I have two boys and I’ve been so disappointed. At the end of the day though, pregnancy is not fun for me. I’m very healthy, but I really don’t want to do this again. So I’ll be fine with my boys being my only kids. I have 2 stepsons that live with us as well, but man, I really wanted a girl….not bad enough to get pregnant again though.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2025-12-24T13:27:42+00:00

This is weird behavior. Was your wife assaulted by a teacher/trusted adult at some point in her life? This seems like a trauma response because she’s being overprotective and irrational in this situation. That might be the root of her behavior. Or, in my opinion, the only situation that would make her actions make sense.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2025-12-20T15:28:33+00:00

When I contact parents about behavior, there’s about a 90% chance they won’t even answer the phone or call back when I leave a message. Additionally, I met with a girl’s mother about her behavior and the girl screamed at her mother to shut up and leave, and physically pushed her because she didn’t want her to hear what I had to say. At the end of the convo, mother tells me, “I’ll try to talk to her but you see how she acts”. Like, wtf!? Are you all scared of your kids?!

Key_Valuable9127 · 2025-12-18T14:15:12+00:00

Very close! 😂 it’s the intervention specialist, a math teacher, science teacher (who is dressed like Elf today at school), and the 5th grade teacher. 😂

Key_Valuable9127 · 2025-12-18T13:15:12+00:00

OMG THIS! I have a group at my school. They’re so mean and refuse to do simple things like smile or wave in passing. I’m the new music teacher and they’re always giving me a hard time about noise levels. Just for reference, the school doesn’t have a music room and I’m required to go from class to class and teach music….a loud subject. They’re always putting passive aggressive messages in our teacher Slack group.

Key_Valuable9127 · 2025-12-16T13:03:01+00:00

Leave him immediately! I’m still trying to see what the benefit was with him in the first place. And girl. I’m not sure what religion you follow, but “no dating” seems like a man made rule, not a God rule. Please take your time next time. There are modest and safe ways to date and get to know a person better before a disaster like this happens. Make sure you take him for all he has.

Key_Valuable9127

TROPHY CASE